Vaseline

[BigusDicus 9,829]

Sam always wanted a nice big 'Hog,' so he shopped around, answering ads in the newspaper, but didn't have much luck. Finally, on his way to work, he saw a beautiful classic Harley with a 'For Sale' sign. He's amazed to find the bike in mint condition, and rushes to the house to inquire about the price. After the haggling on the price, Sam says,

 

'This bike is beautiful! I'll take it. But you gotta tell me how you keep it in such good shape.'

 

'Well,' says the seller, 'it's pretty simple. Just make sure that if the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain. In fact, since you're buying the bike I won't need my jar of Vaseline anymore. Here, you can have it.'

 

So Sam buys the bike and off he goes, a happy biker. He takes the bike over to show his girlfriend. She's ecstatic (being a Harley fan herself).

 

That night, he decides to ride the bike over to his girlfriend's parents' house. It's the first time he's going to meet them and figures it will make a big impression. When the couple gets to the house, the girlfriend grabs Sam's arm.

 

'Honey,' she says, 'I gotta tell you something about my parents before we go in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'

 

'No problem,' Sam says. And in they go.

 

Sam is astounded. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the family room, another huge stack of dishes. Piled up the stairs, dirty dishes. In fact, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.

 

As dinner progresses, Sam decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses his girlfriend. No one says a word. So he decides to reach over and fondle her breasts. He looks at her parents, but still they keep quiet.

 

So he stands up, grabs his girlfriend, strips her naked, and they make love right on the dinner table. Still, no one says a word.

 

'Her Mom's kinda cute,' he thinks to himself. So he grabs his girlfriend's Mom and has his way with her right there on the dinner table. Again, total silence.

 

Then, a few raindrops hit the window, and Sam realizes it's starting to rain. He figures he'd better take care of the motorcycle, so he pulls the Vaseline from his pocket.

 

Suddenly the father stands up and shouts:

 

'All right, all right!

 

I'll do the damn dishes!'

[whilliam_mancon 2]

 

 

 

 

[nohlsson1 19]

LOL that was messed up! I hadn't laughed that hard in a week.

[MM 6,562]

I'm still smiling!