Nightmarch - Sept 15, 2008

[MM 6,562]

End Game: After more than three and a half months of protesting by the People’s Alliance for -their own version of- Democracy (PAD) the standoff with the government of Smackhead the Denier is getting close to a denouement. Whatever happens to be the result of the weeks and weeks of protesting it’s almost certain the tourism industry has been well and truly stuffed as regards attracting new faces.

 

Given that any resolution is not going to be done and dusted until at least the end of September, I can’t see any of the so-called ‘quality’ tourists the current government would like to attract rushing to the booking office to get a flight for a couple of weeks of holidaying on the beaches of Phuket or Koh Samui or dipping their toes into the deep end of the nightlife pool of Pattaya.

[Night-March]

LET’S GET REALLY WET: The Sisterz ogling den (Walking Street) celebrated its first anniversary with a short, sharp, wet t-shirt contest; none of the young damsels caught pneumonia. (Photo by DAK)

Closed airports, striking public services and utilities, the odd shooting of a protester and bashing of others, are hardly the kind of scenes designed to attract people with young children, honeymooning couples, or sexagenarians out for a final dose of the exotic and erotic.

Closer to home, the lack of goggled-eyed couples won’t do much damage to the lower end of the Fun Town nightlife pond. If they do take a walk on the wild side it’s usually just so they are able to relate salacious stories involving naked nymphs, ping-pong balls, and bananas without pyjamas to their friends back in Sphincter, Alabama or Smitherington Netherballs, Shropshire. The plethora of faux Irish pubs might suffer a little more from the dearth of quality tourists; the rest won’t notice.

Sadly, the chances of seeing new faces in the ogling dens and beer boozers will be limited. Anyone who has been here before will know the place is far safer than taking a midnight stroll through a London council estate. Those who haven’t will probably delay a visit until the political situation settles down. I can see loads of previously sated visitors returning simply because they’ll have worked out the opportunities with the ladies of wallet emptying virtue will be better than at any time for the last few years. Anybody who thinks it’s now impossible to engage in a bout of horizontal folk dancing with a maiden from a beer boozer or even an ogling den for under 1,000 baht hasn’t been shopping in the right places at the right time.

That said, the fact the British pound, for example, has been steadily dropping in value to the baht (on 2 September it was 60 to the baht), the prices of air tickets from that part of the planet are now 70 to 80 percent higher than they were a couple of years back, and most of the world’s economies are close to recession, makes it almost certain the expected high season for 2008-2009 will last about three weeks. Not a good prospect for many places and operators who are trying to ride out the current storm in the hope of the expected good times to come.

Back to a Half-Century: In late August the number of ogling dens on Walking Street returned to the magical 50 mark with the opening of the Airport Club, opposite the entrance to Soi Diamond. Operated by Khun Nui, who also has four other dens in the area, it’s a long and narrow place. The design owes much to outside influences such as What’s Up (hence the hospital white and padded cell look); Club Boesche, and a swathe of other dens, with the almost de rigueur Jacuzzi installed; Windmill, and Baby Dolls for the synthetic rubber flagellation tools and the birthday-suited dancers. There were around 25-30 dancing damsels in the den in various stages of diminished and diminishing attire. The music, as you might expect, was car alarm noise purchased by the DJ from a bargain basement bin. Libations are the usual gouge for ly water at 95 baht; liver wasters 120 baht, and the promotional thirst quencher being draught amber nectar at 65 baht all night. The dancing damsels are a mixed bunch of hardened professionals and newcomers, some quite easy on the optic nerve. Don’t expect any change from your bin if it amounts to less than 20 baht.

Here, There, and Everywhere: There are still plenty of places across the length and breadth of Fun Town where talk of economic downturn will be met with quizzical looks from the owners and managers. These places do good business night after night, perhaps not to the levels of three or four years ago, but more than enough to fill satchels of cash. The Happy chrome pole palace (Walking Street) just stays busy most of the time. Yes the majority of the chrome pole molesters are from the School of Hard Bitches, but they are from the Class of Good Sorts and, if nothing else, always worth an optic nerve. One dancer, for example, had obviously allowed a tattoo artist to do needlepoint around the baby-making factory: I think it might have been the Lithuanian Coat of Arms. Not a shy girl at all. The music remains of the car alarm type (but does suit the joint), happy hour runs until 9:30PM and lady drinks are just 100 baht. Its sibling, Peppermint, is run along similar lines and although the class of mattress actresses is not what it used to be, it’s another joint well worth a drink or six.

Further down Walking Street, most of the boozers in the Simon beer bar complex appear to be doing well. I can’t name any particular boozer because, as I’ve said many times previously, within a week or two most of the best sorts in the majority of bars are spirited away by overly tumescent punters keen to rescue their damsel from the distress of putting up with other like-minded customers. In ogling dens this doesn’t happen as much because the dancers tend to only want to go short time with punters and they have a Thai boyfriend to consider. Anyway, the Simon boozers have a nice ambience, looking out over Pattaya Bay if you head into the complex, or watching

the passing parade on the street if you sit at one the front bars.

Down in Soi 14, off Walking Street, the Secrets lounge lizard libation room and sports emporium celebrated its second anniversary on 1 September and the joint was packed to the rafters from early until late evening. It’s one of those businesses which, like a few others, has been building its core strength via its website. This can be dangerous if the physical boozer doesn’t live up to expectations; fortunately, the ambience in Secrets would make it a winner with or without a website.

Around the corner, into Soi 15, the Baby Dolls ogling den must be partially responsible for the reduced water supplies around Fun Town: the Jacuzzi gets plenty of use. Banana vendors must be just about ready to order the latest BMW 750 series. Yet draught amber is just 65 baht all night and most other libations only 95 baht.

Next door, the Sakura Club ogling den has libations at 89 baht all night long. An interesting price structure designed, of course, for the serving brigade to finish with an average 11-baht tip on each drink served. It tends to be a one-drink den, at least that’s what the trickle of customers were doing while I was there. One drink, a play around with the friendly knob fondlers, check bin, and off.

As I mentioned recently, Windmill Club in Soi Diamond is well and truly back to being an ogling den worthy of a visit. On a recent sojourn with three other persons of dubious sobriety and tastes, we all agreed Windmill Club was the pick of the bunch. The dancing damsels were friendly, although, as with most other similar places nowadays, the word from the Bargirl Dictionary they used most frequently was ‘tip’. I’m told there are plans to reopen the upstairs joint, but by way of a spiral staircase from within Windmill itself. Given the twinkle in the eye when I was told this, I can see ‘upstairs’ being a quietly-touted place to go once it’s open.

Across the alley the Diamond chrome pole palace will be having a party on Sunday night 28 September to celebrate Khun Joy’s birthday. Wife of the owner Khun Tee, the party promises to be well-attended with the usual free buffet for customers.

Just along the same alleyway heading towards Pratumnak Road, the Casino Club coyote howlers den is another that is now entering its third year of operations. Although management would like it to be different, Casino Club started as a truly late-night place to go and it remains that way. Their anniversary party, for example, didn’t get under way until the witching hour. Although it opens at around 9:00PM it doesn’t really get swinging until a couple of hours later. If you happen to be out really late it’s worth a visit.

Band of Brothers and Sisters: Been into the FLB lounge lizard libation room a couple of times to listen to the five-member Filipino band. It’s about the biggest change in the bar in recent times, otherwise FLB is pretty much the same as it has been for some time now. The last time I went in there were only three or four customers and about a dozen bored-looking damsels concentrating on rolling dice and playing the 1-9 game. For anyone spending a night out with the aim of listening to live music, the FLB band are a good starting point. They usually take to the stage a little before 9:30PM every night.

Out of the Pink: After just over 10 years of operations, the Flamingo sleeping palace (Soi Day Night 2) closed its doors at the beginning of August. According to a reliable source the number of hotel bookings was down to such an extent it made keeping the place operational no longer viable. At one stage the attached Renoirs noshery was one of the best in town for taste and value, and even when it had lost these it retained a wonderful ambience. I would argue the demise of the Flamingo is a clear indication of the difficult economic conditions currently extant in Pattaya. Then again, places like the very popular Lek sleeping palace (Second Road) are almost full, even now.

Piece of Pith: Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.

 

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[glynbuk 29]

Thanks MM for posting that, haven't read it for a few months and was missing it

[whilliam_mancon 2]

Thank you for the update Martin, it sounds like I will come back to a slightly different but at the same time alike Pattaya.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Big_Brian 179]

Not Martin, you missed this bit at the top of the forum; "This forum contains articles written and published by Duncan Stearn. PattayaTalk simply reprints the articles for your enjoyment.".

[Sybarite 1]

Otherway had a lot to answer for but at least he knew how to put spaces between paragraphs.