NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS

[BigusDicus 9,883]

NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS

 

CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

 

CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.

 

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake

himself for a financial genius.

 

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the

wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

 

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

 

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market

keeps crashing.

 

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

 

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

 

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

 

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally

between themselves.

 

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

[whilliam_mancon 2]

Excellent!