Nightmarch - Nov 16, 2008

[MM 6,562]

Economic Error: I hope I’m not being premature with this (unlike most other areas of my life), but I think myself and others have been wrong about the potential strength of this high season. Given all the global problems, no one really thought Fun Town would be busy this high season, yet the trends are already showing a marked increase in tourist numbers. The high season officially starts on 1 November and my own empirical evidence, allied with comments made by others, makes it abundantly clear the crowds are back. For example, the Club Oasis ogling den (Soi Buakhow) was busy throughout the low season, but, if it’s possible, was even busier early on a mid-week evening with a swag of very friendly chrome pole shufflers looking to empty as many wallets as possible.

One of my favourite munching palaces, Wi’s (Third Road, opposite X-Zyte head-bangers audito-rium), endured a very poor low season, but on my last visit the place was three-quarters full and the staff said every day had been good for the previous week. For some houses of enterta-inment and a few nosheries the difference between the high and low seasons is marginal: they’re always busy and have been doing well for years, despite increasing competition. Yet, a whole swag of joints across the city have been hanging on by the barest of margins: raiding their bank accounts, selling properties overseas and here, bringing in cashed-up partners, all in an effort to stave off closure. These places will now be hoping to take advantage of the overflow caused by having Fun Town close to putting out the ‘House Full’ sign again, at least in terms of nocturnal wanderers. I’m the first to put up my hand and say I was mistaken.

 

CALENDAR COVER GIRL: The Pattaya by Night 2009 Calendar features dancing damsels from some of the best dens in Fun Town and the cover girl comes from the Heaven Above ogling den (Soi Diamond). (Photo by DAK)

Shameless Plug: The Pattaya by Night Calendar 2009 has well and truly hit the streets and, I’m extremely happy to report, it has not only been well-received but is selling well. It is of the desk, rather than wall, variety and features such worthy dens of the chrome pole as Baby Dolls (Soi 15, off Walking Street), Club Boesche (Soi 16, off Walking Street), Club Oasis (corner Soi Buakhow and Soi Chaiyapoom), Coyotee’s (Soi Marina Plaza, off Walking Street), Heaven Above (Soi Diamond), Secrets (Soi 14, off Walking Street), Sisterz (Walking Street), Super Baby (Soi Diamond), Super Girl (Soi Diamond), and Windmill Club (Soi Diamond). The popular and long-established specialist fetish-wear outlet Boutique Sexy (shop on Third Road, opposite and between the Boxing Roo and Buffalo beer boozers) is also featured (February).

The calendar retails at 200 baht and can be purchased through the above-mentioned places as well as the DK bookshops in Soi Post Office and Central Pattaya Road and on the web via www.dcothai.com.

The First of the High Season Dance Contests: This is the postponed from October event at the Coyotee’s den of the chrome pole (Soi Marina Plaza, off Walking Street) and will now kick off on Sunday night 30 November. My understanding is the contest will commence sometime between 10:30 and 11:00PM and will involve dancers from at least three other dens. Past contests in Coyotee’s have always been good affairs and this one should be worthy of including in your diary.

The Dust Has Well and Truly Settled: The storm-in-a-teacup crackdown on the activities of the dens of Soi 6 lasted about as long as a premature ejaculator in a roomful of naked Playboy bunnies. While the solicita-tions of the damsels on the streets was less cajoling than in the past when I took an evening constitutional for research purposes recently, the sheer numbers of wallet emptiers sat outside their respective places of employment in various stages of undress made it look as though it is simply business as usual. Every place had the majority of its one-eyed trouser-snake fiddlers out on the pavements, knitting woollen scarves or table mats, meditating with that thousand-yard stare only a true mendicant can achieve, or with their noses well and truly at the feed trough keeping their constant hunger pangs at bay.

The situation inside the Sierra Tango joints varied from busy to almost morguelike. The Mandarin Club ogling den was in the latter category. While it is a nicely -appointed and clean place it lacks the one thing to bring in customers: sufficient dancing damsels. There were just seven when I looked in, and only a couple could be described as worthy of donning a g-string. Libations are reasonable, starting with ly water at 70 baht and lady drinks 90 baht. As with most other places in the soi, bar fines are 300 baht for a limited time in the company of the damsel of your choice. One lady declared the price of her experiencing her charms would be 1,000 baht, but quickly reduced this figure to the more standard 700 baht.

Just a few doors away up the soi is the Betty Boup chrome pole palace. This place is absolutely awash with dancers, of quite youthful appearance in many cass. The music is standard car alarm with a screech, ly water starts at 75 baht, and lady drinks are an even 100 baht. The bar fine is 300 baht and the trouser-snake fondler asks for 700 baht in attending to your desires to reduce your liquid weight by a few millilitres. The standard uniform is high-heel boots, fishnet stockings, a short skirt and easy-to-open top.

While the Pook den likes to refer to itself as of the ogling variety I find it disconcerting to have to battle through a gobble of katoeys just to mount a set of stairs to reach the next floor and see what all the fuss, if any, is about. So, I haven’t bothered, as yet.

Most of the other places in the soi are of the Sierra Tango variety with bar fines 300 baht and the damsels having their mitts out for 700 baht. Lady drinks are usually between 90 and 95 baht but other libations can be as low as 30-40 baht.

Happy Siblings: The Sisterz chrome pole palace (Walking Street) has extended its happy hour to 11:00PM with most libations at a mere 45 baht and even when this ends the cost of thirst-quenchers merely rises to an almost ridiculously low 59 baht. This includes Chang, Singha, and Tiger bottled amber, large Chang amber draught, house liver wasters, and ly wasters. Shows begin around 9:00PM.

Sisterz will be worth visiting on Thursday night 27 November when they will hold a St Trinian’s Schoolgirl Party. I expect the joint will fill up early with English headmasters and members of the plastic raincoat brigade. For people not familiar with the St Trinian’s movies (I think they were popular in Britain in the late 1950s, early 1960s), just come on down to Sisterz and check out the party.

Back in the Kitty-Litter: In any collection or grouping of dens of the chrome pole, and even beer boozers, the strength of the area can usually be improved by hoping those who are struggling eventually lift their game and begin attracting more custom. For much of the past year the Catz ogling den (Soi 16, Covent Garden Complex) had been a shadow of its former self, especially since Lanky Bob sold his share in the joint, for genuine health reasons. This weakness led to a concomitant drag on the fortunes of other establish-ments in the same complex.

I’m happy to say the situation has now been reversed and Catz is once again worthy of regular patronage. I had been told Lanky Bob has been lured back into the play palace and his efforts, as well as a change in mamasan, has worked the necessary wonders.

Heard and Seen Around Town: It looks as though the fag ash brigade might once more be forced into taking their drags and heavy puffs outside to the street following a not-unexpected series of visits to a number of dens of the chrome pole on Walking Street in the first week of November by a team of officials charged with enforcing the non-smoking ban. Eight people attired in various uniforms and flashing badges that may have been genuinely certifiable accreditation to a local video shop rental card wandered about in search of people engaging in the act of polluting the atmosphere by way of cigarette smoke. Needless to say, the dens visited were owned by foreigners rather than locals. They probably figured a foreigner would come up with the 20,000 baht fine faster than most local operators. Is this the start of a continuing stub offensive or just a quick drag and puff to fill empty coffers? Only the coming weeks will tell.

The opening of the new Bubbles ogling den (Pattayaland Soi 2) is not far away judging by the work that has been completed on the outside of the building as at the start of the second week of November. I presume the new owners have reverted to the old name of the den as a way of hoping to attract those punters who might have fond memories of the place in its heyday from about 1999-2003.

Not surprisingly, the Honey Club ogling den (Soi Honey Inn) has closed its doors. It possessed all the ambience of a municipal tip and simply didn’t attract sufficient numbers of chrome pole shufflers to get punters through the doors.

Piece of (Aging) Pith: Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly? A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon. (my new email address is: duncanstearn@gmail.com)

 

From http://www.pattayatoday.net/index.php?acti...ews&id=4146