Bad Day at Hallmark Cards

[shamasdog 1]

Bad day at Hallmark

 

Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day......... (they're pretty bad... )

 

 

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My tire was thumping.

 

I thought it was flat

 

When I looked ....

 

I noticed your cat.

 

Sorry!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Heard your wife left you,

 

How upset you must be.

 

But don't fret ..

 

She moved in with me.

 

 

 

 

 

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Looking back over the years

 

That we've been together,

 

I can't help but wonder...

 

'What the hell was I thinking?'

 

 

 

 

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Congratulations on your wedding day!

 

Too bad no one likes your husband.

 

 

 

 

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How could two people as beautiful as you

 

Have such an ugly baby?

 

 

 

 

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I've always wanted to have

 

Someone to hold,

 

Someone to love.

 

Having met you ...

 

I've changed my mind.

 

 

 

 

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I must admit,

 

you brought Religion into my life.

 

I now believed in Hell.

 

 

 

 

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As the days go by,

 

I think of how lucky I am...

 

That you're not here

 

to ruin it for me.

 

 

 

 

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Congratulations on your promotion.

 

Before you go...

 

Please take your knife out of my back?

 

You'll probably need it again.

 

 

 

 

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Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

 

(Available only in N.C. , Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )

 

 

 

 

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Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

 

Almost Lifelike!

 

 

 

 

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When we were together,

 

You said you'd die for me.

 

Now that we are apart,

 

Please kepp your promise.

 

 

 

 

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We have been friends for a very long time

 

let's say we stop?

 

 

 

 

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I'm so miserable without you

 

it's almost like you're here..

 

 

 

 

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Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

 

Did you ever find out who the father was?

 

 

 

 

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Your friends and I wanted to do

 

Something special for your birthday..

 

So we're having you put to sleep

_________________

Shamas O'Dognasty

Gourmet Catering &

Septic Tank Cleaning

[glynbuk 29]

Some good ones

[bruiser 0]

Thanks for the good chuckle