Bushcraft

Excelled yourself this month! Thanks for the laugh.

Not in the least, I take it as a good-natured dig 🙂

How's this one: I used to think my brain was the most sublime organ in my body. Then I realised who was telling me this.

There's a prominent sign reading "90 Day Reporting" outside the new building, but on entering you also see a couple of desks on the right for other visa matters. Either way, the new facility is a big improvement on the previous crush in the main building.

Heavens Above on Boomerang is also non-smoking now.

That's good, those ears are famous - like a taxi with its doors open. Also, he's one of those chaps who can stare at you through a keyhole with both eyes at once.

Very good one this month, thanks mate, keep 'em coming.

Two cavemen are sitting on a sandy beach, silently contemplating a fire they've built. Suddenly they notice a third caveman swimming out of the sea towards them. The man runs up onto the beach gesticulating wildly, very excited. The newcomer comes up to them and says: "Hey you two, I've discovered something really exciting that will change your lives, it's called language! It means we can actually start communicating with each other. A fantastic breakthrough, I just had to let you know." One of the two guys by the fire gets up, grabs his club and wordlessly bashes the newcomer over the

This is one I first heard in Austria - clearly they have their own lavatorial humour for which I make no apologies. A man boards the overnight express train, let's say from Edinburgh to London. Prior to boarding, he's had 3 pints of beer and a hot Indian curry. Sure enough, a few miles into the journey, he starts to feel uncomfortable, his bowels are churning and he realises that he needs to get to a toilet very quickly. He rushes down the corridor in a panic, reaches the toilet and the door is locked - its engaged. Bugger. Now with only seconds to spare before disaster, he thinks fas

Shock announcement, the health & safety people in the UK have proposed that all men aged 16 or over should be compelled to attach a warning sticker to their scrotum: May contain nuts!

I went to Milk Bar to say hello to my old friend Moulie yesterday, thinking it was open. Nobody at all there, so I popped next door to Le Pub, which I haven't visited for some time owing to an attitude problem in the past. Noticed there were a few new ladies, and one or two girls who knew me came over to say hello but buggered off when I clearly wasn't going to buy them a drink on the instant, despite my being a pretty generous regular during lockdown when things were really bad for them. Sat outside with a beer, five new ladies opposite so busy with their phones that they couldn't be arsed

Returning to this great thread because I have a Kindle problem. Suddenly I'm trying to buy books from the store only to find that they don't download properly and I get a message to delete the item for a refund. This is really annoying. Anyone else have this problem or know what's going on?

I concur about the rumble strips. Back home you'll find them just ahead of crossings and roundabouts, ostensibly to remind you to slow down (bloody nanny state). Here (e.g. Thepprasit, Thappraya and now 3rd road) they're present in large numbers way before there's any need to slow down. Often, owing to traffic, you can't steer through the middle and avoid the really annoying rumble that can't be doing your suspension any good either. These are really useless and very annoying wastes of money for which I guess some prat in authority has earned a nice little kickback.

Well done ladies, they played well against other ladies. I watched this out of patriotic interest, but I'm afraid I'm clearly a dinosaur and don't take any interest in the women's game per se at all. Always good to see po-faced Germans losing though.

A heavy breather phones a woman's number. "Do you have an unshaved, tight cunt?" "Yes, but he's watching the TV right now. Who shall I say is calling?"