Evil Penevil

Thank God, Buddha, Allah, Shiva, Zeus, Odin, Tezcatlipoca and all other deities known and unknown for that! Evil

I think you'd do better at Kilkenny, Golf Club, Harry's or the Buakhao Bistro on Soi Buakhao across from Serenity A Go Go (former Oasis). Smokin' Joe's on Lengkee is also good for U.S.-style farang food. Kilkenny revamped its restaurant menu about three weeks ago. Here's an excerpt from the new menu: Kilkenny also has great value-for-money daily specials. Today's three specials: and yesterday's two: I've tried and reviewed the beef stew, pork chop and Ozzie burger. All were very good. Most noteworthy is probably the Sunday roast lamb dinner for 199 baht. You won't do better than that for the price anywhere in town. What impresses me most about Kilkenny is its consistency. I've never had a bad meal there. In many farang-oriented places in Pattaya, the quality of the meals can swing dramatically depending who's in the kitchen at the time. Prices are reasonable at Kilkenny but it's 30-50 baht higher for popular menu items compared with the nearby Cheap Charlie's, Chunky Monkey and Hungry Hippo. However, in terms of quality and portion size, Kilkenny wins hands down. Kilkenny also has an extended Happy Hour from 4 p.m. to midnight every day, during which all house spirits and bottled beers go for 65 baht. Kilkenny's is located at the corner of the L on LK Metro, across from the Billabong Bar. It's an excellent spot for people watching on LK Metro. Things can get quite lively at the Billabong.

Prime Burger has taken over the premises of the venerable but now defunct Butchers Arms across Soi Buakhao from the southern edge of Tree Town. As the name makes clear, Prime Burger is narrowly focused on premium burgers. In addition to hamburgers made from 100% imported Australian beef (70% chuck, 30% brisket) ground daily in the restaurant, the menu includes chicken, fish and vegetarian burgers as well as some traditional side dishes and salads. Prime Burger is a good option if you're in the mood for an upscale burger, but not if you want anything else. The interior features booth and table seating. There is a big screen TV on one wall and a pool table in the back section. For those who want to people watch or prefer dining al fresco, there are tables outside. The burgers are named for cities around the world and come in three sizes (single-, double- and triple-patty). Each patty weighs 90 grams. Eight different burgers are available. The New York Burger is a basic cheeseburger, but I chose the Paris Burger with cheese, U.S.-style smoked streaky bacon, tomato, lettuce, Dijon mustard and truffle mayo. On its Web site and printed menu, Prime Burger states "the quality of beef and ingredients" is the key to making the best burger. I certainly won't disagree but add that proper execution by the cook is also important in producing a great burger. Even the best ingredients can be mistreated in the kitchen and result in an unpalatable dish. But the kitchen staff at Prime Burger got it right regarding the basics. Quality ingredients were well prepared to yield one of the tastiest burgers I've had in a long time. Admittedly, I don't often eat hamburgers in Pattaya, so I don't have a large or up-to-date basis for comparison. The owner of Prime Burger is a Swede who opened a Prime Burger in Phuket earlier this year and its Stockholm Burger promptly won the annual Phuket's Best Burger. If the owner isn't doing the cooking himself, he's trained his staff well. A bacon cheeseburger is straight out of Peoria or Omaha; it's the Dijon mustard and truffle mayo that gives the Paris Burger it's French twist. I'm not sure truffle mayo really has a place on a bacon cheeseburger; a more neutral base like pasta, eggs or mild meat and fish is needed for the truffle flavor to shine. A generous blob of Dijon mustard would have been a brilliant addition, as it would have added a contrasting bite to the fatty richness of the cheeseburger. Alas, the cook had been rather stingy with the mustard and I couldn't notice any taste from the mustard or truffle mayo. Nevertheless, as a straight-up bacon cheeseburger, it was very good. The bun, the most overlooked component of burgers, was fresh and light, exactly how a hamburger bun should be. I ordered the halloumi salad at 90 baht as my side. Halloumi is cheese that originated in Cyprus and is traditionally made from sheep's milk. It has a low moisture content that makes it perfect for grilling and frying. Halloumi has a unique taste that's hard to describe; it's sort of like feta, but milder and creamier. I can't even recall seeing halloumi on a Pattaya menu before. In modern times, halloumi has been made from cow's milk and I think (but can't be sure) that was the variation I got. It had a good texture but very little flavor. The vegetables, pieces of vegetables (tomato, cucumber, green and red pepper) were freshly chopped. Black olives provided the accent rather than the cheese. Bottom line: Next time I have a yearning for a hamburger, Prime Burger will be one of my options. I wouldn't say it's the best burger in Pattaya, but it's very good and the location is convenient for me. I also want to try the Tokyo Burger (deep-fried fish). The total cost of my meal (burger, salad and soda water) was 375 baht. I'm not sure about Prime Burger's hours of business. I got there at 2.30 p.m. and the staff was still putting out the settings on the outdoor tables. A "Closed" sign hung on the door, but the waitress told me to go inside and "wait five minute." I believe it is supposed to be open between 3.00 p.m. and 11 p.m. Evil

Cheap Charlie's is one of three low-price restaurants evenly spaced along a half-kilometer stretch of Soi Buakhao in the heart of the LK Metro area. The Chunky Monkey and Hungry Hippo are the other two bastions of budget bites on Buakhao, although several restaurants in that area have daily specials that put them in or slightly above the same price level. Competition for bargain baht is fierce around LK Metro! CC's is located about 150 meters south of Soi Lengkee on the east side of the road. I visited on a Sunday at about 2.30 p.m. It had about 25 customers at that time, which was considerably more than I saw at the Chunky Monkey or Hungry Hippo as I passed them on the way to CC's. "Cheap and cheerful" is an apt description for CC's. It's open-front, but powerful and well-placed fans keep it cool. There's nothing fancy about the decor, but it's a comfortable and pleasant place for a meal with friendly service staff. I tried the roast chicken dinner for 99 baht. At that price, it can't really be faulted. It tasted fine and the portion was large enough for me. You can certainly find better and bigger roast chicken dinners in Pattaya, but they'll cost three or four times as much. The chicken was a large piece of breast accompanied by Yorkshire pudding, roast and mashed potatoes, gravy and boiled vegetables, mostly cabbage and carrots. The Yorkshire was a bit dense and the gravy slightly too salty for me, but those are minor quibbles. It was indeed good for 99 baht. I had intended to try the roast lamb Sunday dinner, which I had read on a board went for 149 baht. However, when I arrived, a sign out front said the price was 195 baht, but a waitress hauled the sign in moments after I sat down. Sure enough, the waitress who took my order said it was already sold out, so I had the roast chicken instead. I haven't had much luck with roast beef or pork dinners in budget restaurants. CC's has an extensive menu centered on familiar British dishes, but also quite a few internationa (hamburgers, pasta)l, Indian, Chinese and Thai offerings. It's pretty much the standard fare for farang restaurants in Pattaya. Here's an excerpt from CC's menu: The roast dinners are available every day, not just Sundays. There are also daily specials at discounted prices. Drinks are also reasonably priced at CC's: Bottom line: Cheap Charlie's is definitely a competitive entry in the crowded field of restaurants vying for budget-conscious customers who want farang food at a low price. Adjust your expectations accordingly. Evil

The Food Park on the lower level of Central Festival shopping mall on 2nd Road has been redone. Whether it is an addition to the old Food Park or a replacement for it remains to be seen. The new version is slicker, more comfortable and has a better layout than its hugely popular predecessor. I took these photos at about 8.30 p.m. on Sunday, July 14. The Food Park was busy, but there were plenty of seats available. The old Food Park was often rammed, even in low season. It's also more expensive. I couldn't see any Thai dishes for 45-50 baht; the cheapest seemed to be 90 baht, but I read elsewhere there are 60 baht dishes. The space that housed the old Food Park is still under wraps, but the ads that block off the construction indicate it will be food oriented. Maybe the old Food Park stalls with mediocre but very cheap food will return. I haven't eaten yet at the new Food Park, so I can't comment on the quality of the food. I'm not a fan of shopping mall food courts as better Thai food is available at the same low prices in any number of hole-in-the-wall restaurants in Pattaya. However, I will eventually give the Food Park at Central Festival a try. Just by way of comparison, this is what it used to look like at the old Food Park. It was packed every day with a mix of Thais, foreign tourists and resident ex-pats. Evil

I remember during my most recent trip to the U.S. I got five Haas avocados for $3.00. Must have been a bumper harvest. Now the price is about $1.00 each. I guess these guys weren't happy with the avocados on sale.

The stand in front of Central Festival has huge numbers of picture-takers (myself included), but I've never seen anyone buy any meat. I've had crocodile several times in Thailand and the U.S. The meat itself has a very mild flavor and usually all you taste is whatever spices/sauce have been used. Evil

Flagging a taxi on the departure level was never a good idea but it hasn't worked at all for a long time now. Pre-booking car service is the best option (cheapest and the driver usually knows Pattaya), but you can also grab a taxi from the public rank. Evil

I'd add a joke about chemistry, but I doubt I'd get a reaction. A Japanese manufacturer is introducing a laughing motorcycle in Thailand. It's called a Yamahahaha. Evil

Sorry for the delay in answering. From what I gather from reading posts elsewhere and what a friend said, the food truck was located on the Darkside, but I couldn't pin down a specific location. Maybe someone else knows the details. Anyway, I had a final meal on Friday at Richman Poorman. I had intended to have a Reuben sandwich, but it was finished. The only dish left was the quesadilla at 180 baht. It was good, but I wouldn't have gone all the way to Soi 9 off Jomtien Beach Road just for it. The RMPM Facebook page said sandwiches and other dishes were still available Friday, but that wasn't the case. A bit of a sad ending for my experience with RMPM. It will be interesting to see what opens in its place. Will the new owners continue on the U.S.-theme or try something different? Evil

I had the Sunday roast lamb dinner last night at Kilkenny. Everything was really good- the lamb, potatoes, Yorkshire pudding, veggies and gravy. No complaints at all. You get an extra boat of gravy that's not in the picture. Best deal in town for 199 baht. Portion was more than enough for me, but if you have a really big appetite, you are better off going to one of the "all-you-can-eat" carveries. Same-same if you want beef, pork or chicken as your meats or want dessert included. Evil

Portofino is a new Italian restaurant and pizzeria that occupies what had once been half of Jameson's Irish Pub. It started serving customers on March 1. It has an open kitchen and the interior has been nicely done up. The pic below comes from Jameson's FB. I was at Portofino on March 4 and there were 12 guests scattered across the restaurant. It was by no means full, but busier than I had expected. I ordered a pizza and salad for take away and while I waited, several other people picked up pizzas. I ordered the prosciutto crudo pizza (Parma ham, mushrooms. mozzarella) and a Greek salad for take away. The pizza was 295 baht and the salad 195 baht. The pizza had good quality toppings, although the sauce was a bit sweet and lacked seasoning. Pizza wasn't baked enough for me. The crust was too soft and chewy. Since there was a decent char on the upper edge of the pizza but almost none on the bottom of the crust, the oven probably wasn't hot enough. There an old joke, sometimes attributed to Mel Brooks, to the effect that "Pizza is like sex; even when it's bad, it's still pretty good." I've never agreed with that sentiment. Anyone who believes it has been lucky enough in life to avoid both bad pizza and bad sex. My personal simile regarding pizza and sex would be "I'm happy as long as I occasionally get a good piece." It's also easier to find good sex in Pattaya than good pizza. The pizza I had wasn't bad, just mediocre and certainly not worth 295 baht. The big letdown came from the Greek salad. I'm not going to get into sexual word plays on Greek and salad, but there was nothing Greek about my salad. It was an abbreviated garden salad, heavy on strips of sweet pepper, with three cubes of feta cheese and a couple of black olives. No oregano or lemon juice, very few pieces of tomato or cucumber.👎👎👎 Bottom line: I won't be back to Portofino. There are many, many better places in Pattaya. In case anyone wants to visit for some strange reason, here's a map of the location: and a photo of the food menu: Evil

Sad news for fans of American food: Richman Poorman in Jomtien is closing its doors. March 9th is its final day. I'll have to trundle out there in the next few days; maybe tonight, as the daily specials look inviting. especially the chicken parm at 195 baht: (from RMPM's Facebook page) Evil

Surprise! (aka Surprise BBQ) is best known for its U.S.-style BBQ beef and pork ribs at bargain prices, but it also has steaks, burgers, skewers and chicken on its menu.. It's located near the intersection of Soi Buakhao and Soi 21, across the street from the north end of Tree Town and around the corner from the Chunky Monkey. It's a very small restaurant with only three tables (two tables for four and one for two), plus counter seats for about six more. It's popular, which means it's often crowded. It's not a comfortable place to have a meal, but the decent food at cheap prices have won it a loyal customer base. Two ladies handle the cooking and two more the serving, which means wait times for your food can be long. Because Surprise! is so cramped, I've mostly had ribs for takeaway, but that's a topic for a separate post. Yesterday I tried the rib eye steak steak at 169 baht. It came with a handful of thick-cut fries, two onion rings, a dish of brown sauce and a dollop of salad. I asked for my steak to be cooked medium rare, but I got it medium. It was Thai beef. but not tough. The menu and a sign says its "AA" grade beef, but I'm not sure what grading scale is being used. Canada has a scale with letter-A ratings and "AA" would be the equivalent of lower-end U.S. Choice. For the price, it was O.K. The fries could have been a bit crisper for my taste. The onion rings, which I can easily live without, were O.K. and the salad was fresh. It hadn't been sitting slathered in dressing all day. The sauce was supposed to be pepper or mushroom, but had no flavor at all. At least it was served on the side and not poured on top of the meat. Bottom line: The rib eye steak was O.K., certainly not great, but you can't expect a great steak for 169 baht. The sides were a mixed lot, ranging from good salad through middling fries and onion rings to a poor sauce. My main reservation about Surprise! centers on the cramped quarters, which more or less rules it out for me as a place to have a meal. You are almost sitting on top of the other customers. Not only can you hear every word they say, but every sound they make, including chewing, burps and farts. If they haven't had a recent shower, you can sure smell them. In the future, I'll continue to use Surprise! for takeaway. Almost worth noting for anyone with mobility problems. There is a very narrow set of stairs leading up to Surprise! which would be difficult for some to manage. It's open from 2.30 or 3.00 p.m. (the menu and sign give different times) to 10.00 p.m., but opening hours seem quite flexible. It often closes earlier than 10.00 p.m., probably because they have run out of food. It's closed Sundays. Evil I've included photos of some of the menu pages to give a better idea of what's available and the prices charged.

Thanks, Bazle. I pass Beer Hubb at least twice a day and it seems they are attracting more customers but still rather empty . The prices for bottled beer are competitive for Soi Buakhao. Evil