Gentlemen's Quiz

[MarsGodOfWar 8]

1. In the company of feminists, coitus should be referred to as:

a: Lovemaking

b: Screwing

c: The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town

 

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you’ve both shared:

a: Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship

b: Your blood-test results

c: Five tequila slammers

 

3. You time your orgasm so that:

a: Your partner climaxes first

b: You both climax simultaneously

c: You don’t miss Sports Center (Sky)

 

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:

a: Healthy, creative love-play

b: Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to

c: Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about

 

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you’ve just had sex with is:

a: The best part of the experience

b: The second best part of the experience

c: $100 extra

 

6. Your girlfriend says she’s gained five pounds in weight in the last month. You tell her that it is:

a: Not a concern of yours

b: Not a problem - she can join your gym

c: A conservative estimate

 

7. You think today’s sensitive, caring man is:

a: A myth

b: An oxymoron

c: A moron

 

8. Foreplay is to sex as:

a: Appetizer is to entree

b: Priming is to painting

c: A queue is to an amusement park ride

 

9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?

a: "I hope we can still be friends."

b: "I’m not in right now. Please leave a message after the tone...."

c: "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You."

 

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:

a: Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy

b: Is uptight and a waste of time

c: Shouldn’t have sat next to you on the bus in the first place

 

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If you answered ‘A’ more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really are a man.

 

If you answered ‘B’ more than 7 times, check into therapy, you’re still a little confused.

 

If you answered ‘C’ more than 7 times, call me up. Let’s go drinking.

Edited April 2, 2010 by MarsGodOfWar