Nightmarch 20 March 2003

[PattayaPete 530]

Fancy a poke with your pig: The Spicy Girls ogling den (Pattayaland Soi 1) is having a Panda party on Saturday night March 22, starting at 7:00 p.m. Patrons are not required to dress up in anything more formal than the usual jeans and t-shirt, but those who so desire may come dressed in the garb of any type of forest dwelling or domesticated creature they desire. No prizes, but you might give someone a good laugh. The usual buffet, featuring ox-loast and a pig in a poke will keep you well fed and standard happy hour prices will apply.

 

Seconds out, round five: Mark down Wednesday night March 26 for the fifth in a series of dance contests conducted by the Diamond ogling den (Soi Diamond, Walking Street). Kicking off at around 9:30 p.m., this will be the first time owner Tee has tried his luck with a mid-week contest, but considering Diamond is now the only den doing this sort of thing, it should prove to be as successful as the previous four.

 

In between birthday suit style gyrations, there will also be a sexy fashion show, so the action should be virtually non-stop from the kick-off.

 

Eureka! I’ve found it: If Archimedes were alive today he wouldn’t be launching himself out of the bath over a simple discovery like hydrostatics, instead he’d be eternally grateful if he could discover the holy grail of female sexual satisfaction; that elusive, orgasmic delight about which women’s magazines since the 1970s have raved: namely the G-Spot.

 

Poor old Archimedes ended up on the pointy end of a Roman sword, but I’m happy to inform readers that I have found the G-Spot, and it’s a lounge lizard libation room located at the front of The Weekender sleeping palace, opposite Soi 3 on Second Road, next door to the Sabai Room bathing salon.

 

Sometimes when you walk into a new joint your gut feelings tell you whether or not it’s going to be successful. In the case of G-Spot, which officially opened for business on March 1, even though it was far from completed, my impression was that here was a place that will rival established venues like The Winchester (Jomtien), Buffalo Bar (Third Road) and the Harley Bar (Soi 17). Considering it’s nowhere near any of the aforementioned trio, it should be able to stand alone and attract good business from the north Pattaya-Naklua area.

 

Don’t let the sun go down on me: According to the latest jottings from Deadly Derek of The Clinic couch potatoes sports emporium (Soi Yamato), the founding partner in the long-established Rising Sun noshery/boozer/sleeping den, in the same soi, has sold out to a Londoner. Improvements are expected to both the rooms and the boozer.

 

Front end loading: My thanks to all those who took the time to respond to my piece about the Happy ogling den (Walking Street) whereby some of the dancing maidens were telling prospective long-term and even short-term customers that they had to cough up more than the bar fine if the sweet young thing was to be allowed to leave the den on their arm. The chrome pole molesters were demanding customers pay the stipend they required up-front to the mamasan before they would go and change into suitable street attire.

 

According to the response I received, it does seem as though the practice is quite rife in Happy and has been going on for some time. For example, one respondent wrote: ‘That happened to me only at that bar…during April 2001...I…asked for LT. She said yes and then the mamasan came over with a pad and BF and fee totalling around 2,600 was presented. I was totally insulted and after all I've heard waived both of them off with no negotiation or another glance.’

 

Another replied: ‘Yes, mate, in April 2002 I had the same experience. I was required to pay up front before taking N… out for a short while’.

 

Yet another respondent claimed, ‘I came across this at the end of Jan 03... A friend of mine was here for the first time and had spotted a lady he fancied. One of the ‘male mamasans’ came over and he asked him how much for the lady. 3000 baht he was told. I said to him, hold a minute; let’s ask the girl how much she wants. The girl spoke little English but after my limited Thai, she only wanted 1500 baht. That plus a bar fine of 500 baht. Who was going to pocket the 1000 baht profit?’

 

Finally, ‘that's exactly what was tried on my Aussie mate on Wednesday night at the above mentioned establishment. The fee was to be 3000 baht, non negotiable - when he tried to negotiate - they weren't interested. So he walked away.’

 

That said, I’ve also been informed that the traditional 500 baht bar fine, with no up-front fees, is also continuing. So maybe sometimes the ‘pay-before-you-play’ is merely an ambit kick-off and if a punter shows reluctance then the old-style method of transaction is trotted out.

 

Happy little beavers: The Giligins ogling den (Pattayaland Soi 1) is looking to fight back in the battle for custom with Walking Street by introducing a happy hour on March 1 from 7:00-9:00 p.m. Liver wasters (including shooters) and lolly water retail at 50 baht while bottled amber fluid goes off at 60 baht. The draught amber remains at 50 baht all night, every night.

A party on March 9 was held to celebrate their second anniversary. Elvis still holds court most nights and although, like most dens operators, he’d like to have another six or eight chrome pole molesters, a couple of those who are stroking the tubing are easy on the eye.

 

Emergency’s had a coronary: It looks as though the Emergency ogling den has become the first victim of the resurgence of Walking Street in Pattayaland Soi 2, closing its doors at the end of February. The whisper is that the Misty’s den, located right next door, is interested in snapping up the lease.

 

Still great value: The management of the Club Electric Blue ogling den (Walking Street) has increased their 7:30-8:30 p.m. happy hour price on liver wasters and Thai rotgut from 10 to 25 baht, which still makes it the cheapest place in town for those who like their women as nature intended.

 

From out of the Whisper Factory: It’s being said that the Gang’s Pub gobble-and-go boozer in Soi 6 has changed hands with a well-known man-with-a-battered-bike taking over the lease. In recent times many dine and dash establishments in Soi 6 have struggled to attract customers, and it will be interesting to see if certain Harley-Davidson aficionados now start parking up out the front of Gang’s.

 

My e-mail address is: nightmarch@hotmail.com

Author of Pattaya "Patpong on steroids"

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