A Christmas Story

[BigusDicus]

The Three Types of Breasts*

 

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, "Dad, how

many kinds of boobs are there?"

The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, a woman goes through three

phases.

 

In her 20s, her breasts are like melons, round and firm.

 

In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit.

 

After 50, they are like onions."

 

"Onions?" the son asks.

 

"Yes. You see them and they make you cry."

 

This infuriates his wife and daughter.

 

The daughter asks, "Mom, how many different kinds of penises are there?"

 

The mother smiles and says, "Well, dear, a man also goes through three

phases.

 

In his 20s, his penis is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.

 

In his 30s and 40s, it's like a birch, flexible but reliable.

 

After his 50s, it's like a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree?" the daughter asks.

 

"Yes: Dead from the root up, and the balls are just for decoration.