The talking dog.........

[Gary 4,119]

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
'You talk?' he asks. 
'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?' 

The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'

'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.'

 

'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.' 

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a Democrat and a liar. He never did any of that shit.

The dog has never been out of the yard.

 

 

[atlas2 4,329]

I like that....Sort of double edged.......

Reminds me of France's most voted for joke.......

"Dog walks into a telegraph office and asks if he can send a telegram to a friend of his, and gives his friend's address........ Amazed at a speaking dog the telegrapher says, "Of course sir......Let me take down your message.'

"Thank you says the dog and dictates:.....'Woof woof woof, woof woof woof woof, woof woof.'

The telegrapher counts up and says helpfully, "That's 9 woofs sir.....You can have one more woof for the same price"

The dog gives him a quizzical look.....and says...."But that wouldn't make any sense!"