Nightmarch 30 July 2004

[PattayaPete 530]

THE LONDON CLOCK RACKS UP ANOTHER YEAR: The FLB lounge lizard libation room (Walking Street) played host to a birthday party for Big Ben, one of its stalwarts, on Wednesday night 21 July. The date just happens to coincide with Belgium’s national day.

 

A Perfect 10: Not quite Bo Derek, but the 10th issue of the free Pattaya Nightlife guide has just hit the streets. While I was involved in the creation of the guide in the initial stages and for the first few issues, my only interest now is helping it continue to survive when and where I can. For those who don’t know, Pattaya Nightlife is a pocket-sized, glossy coloured guide to the boozatoriums of Fun Town. With street maps of places from Walking Street to Naklua, it’s easy to use and there is enough variety among the advertisers to keep all but the curmudgeonliest satisfied. For example, The Blues Factory (Soi Lucky Star, off Walking Street) bills itself as the ‘best live music venue in Pattaya’ while on the opposite page Spicy Girls (Pattayaland Soi 1) has ‘your favourite classics from the 60’s to the 90’s on music video’.

 

In Naklua, Susibar, Tropic, Tutti Frutti and Hasenstall share the pages with the renowned Boutique Sexy, the place where everyone seems to head for outfits you don’t normally associate with prêt-a-porter operations.The intriguingly named beer boozer Black Pussy (Naklua Road) promotes itself as ‘the bar with the double heartiness’; a little effusive perhaps. One the other hand, the Aussie-run Best beer boozer (Soi simply guarantees ‘cold beer’ along with friendly hostesses.

 

The former Spicy Girls Too, now rebadged as 2XS (Pattayaland Soi 1) has an eye-catching double-page advertisement while the former Jan Bar, now the Roo Bar in Walking Street finishes its promotion with ‘top accommodation and plenty of bullshit’. I love it. Other regular advertisers in the publication are the Goldfingers ogling den, Lek eclectic musicatorium, Only Fools and Horses beer boozer (all in Soi 7); Atlantic beer hall near Soi 3; We Are The World on Beach Road near Soi 8; Alamo (Soi 8, promoting their chilli hot dogs with the phrase: ‘stick your dog in a warm bun and relish it’) A new advertiser is the Easyriders beer boozer and live music venue, situated opposite the famous Tiffany’s Show and up the road from the now defunct Palladium late-night boogie barn, on Second Road, North Pattaya.

 

There are a few mistakes that need correction. For example, Sheena’s Place in Soi 8 has long gone; Toi’s Tavern has been re-named in Soi Skaw Beach; the word ‘Lodge’ is misspelt for both Garden Lodge (Naklua Road) and Flipper Lodge (Soi and the hotel in Soi Lengkee is Opey de Place not Obey (although this may refer to the style of management; ‘you vill obey ze instructions’). These are minor errors in an otherwise handy publication that should be available on a regular basis from hotels and boozers around town. For further information, check out the website: www.pattayanightlife.de

 

Seven Year Itch: On Monday evening 10 August the Buffalo dine and dash establishment on Third Road will be celebrating its seventh birthday; it is also owner Etty’s birthday, although she is a little longer in the tooth than a mere seven. I’m told the colour theme for the night will be pink and white and with over 70 damsels ‘on the books’ it promises to be a fun night.

 

Textbook Increase: According to a pair of dancing damsels who work at the long-running Classroom ogling den in Pattayaland Soi 2, the bar fine for chrome pole molesters has been increased from the industry standard of 500 baht to 700 baht. One of my more reliable informants tells me Living Dolls Showcase (Walking Street) imposes a whopping 2,000 baht bar fine for its showgirls. Clearly the aim is to discourage punters from enticing the showgirls away from their chrome pole cavorting duties. It’s my understanding the non-showgirl dancers are still available for long or short-term organ recitals and etching viewings if the 500 baht bar fine is paid.

 

Dancing for Dollars: The Diamond ogling den (Soi Diamond) held its first dance contest for three months on Monday night 19 July. The owners waived the usual 200 baht and one free drink entry for a contest that featured a total of 12 competitors from Big Willies (Soi Diamond), Classroom (Pattayaland Soi 2), Honey (Walking Street) and What’s Up (Soi 15) as well as two teams from the home bar. Victory went to a Diamond dancer (apparently a new recruit who formerly plied her trade in Living Dolls Showcase; that probably goes a long way to explaining why she was so good). The runner-up came from Big Willies with Diamond also taking third position. The winner of the contest also won the Miss Flower title.The management of Diamond has also unveiled plans to hold a tattoo contest at some time in the future. The idea, yet to be fully firmed up, is to encourage ladies sporting interesting or unusual tattoos to sashay about the chrome poles displaying their artwork for aficionados to admire. More about this as and when it comes to fruition.

 

Folie a Deux? The Folies Pigalle ogling den (past the big tree on Walking Street) has changed hands yet again. This time it was taken over at the beginning of July by the former owner of the old Spicy Girls Too ogling den (now 2XS in Pattayaland Soi 1) in partnership with the operators of the Goldfingers chrome pole palace in Soi 7. I wish them luck in what has been one of Pattaya’s more difficult locations. It started life back in late 1994 as Cheerleaders, closed down about April 1995 and later re-opened as Drop-In before being sold around two years ago and renamed Paris Pigalle and then Folies Pigalle. Lady drinks are industry standard at 95 baht, as are liver wasters; the music is better than average; they need more chrome pole molesters, although those they do have vary from veterans of many a campaign to newer faces.

 

Now the Fun Starts: Thursday 1 July saw the official opening of the 2XS ogling den down in gender-confused Pattayaland Soi 1. The den opens each afternoon around 4:00PM and offers Heineken draft amber at 35 baht until 8:30PM when it goes up to a still-reasonable 50 baht. Chang bottled amber retails at just 40 baht all night. The new owners readily admit to being on a learning curve (although I would liken running a chrome pole palace as being more akin to being on an out of control roller-coaster). If they can survive and improve their operation through the low season then come November they should be ready to prosper through the better months. I certainly wish them luck in what can be a difficult soi.

 

Timeless Quality and Quantity: From the first time I ever set foot inside the Super Girl chrome pole palace in Soi Diamond I have always used it as a yardstick by which to measure the rest of the operations in Walking Street. It would be unfair to compare those outside this area against it. Libations are 90 baht across the board, no discounts and no happy hours. The music, as with its elder sister Super Baby across the way, is crap. But the plethora of dancing damsels are among the finest examples of womanhood in Pattaya, so much so that the music is almost superfluous. It’s amazing how your ears seem to go to sleep when your eyes are so busy darting hither, thither and yon. I think in nearly 20 years of journalism I’ve never found a use for that phrase (hither, thither and yon) before; and I hope never to do so again.