Swami

The following and diet coke.

I hope to be there 23 Dec - 4 Jan....if I can find a ticket that's under $2000!

I chose the 6-pack option...but it would be mixed drinks (Maekhong whiskey/Diet Coke) I'm not an alchie, but I sure can hold my liqueur, especially in Thailand. I am very active while there, usually walking everywhere so the booze leaves my system quickly.

UK AL QAEDA ON STRIKE Islamist suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement. The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25% this February from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife. The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (aka "B.O.O.M") responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth". Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands in which he currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, "We sympathize with our workers’ concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. "Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell 3000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up." Spokesmen for the union in the North East of England, Liverpool, Ireland, Wales, New Zealand and the entire Australian continent stated that the strike would not affect their operations as "There are no virgins in their areas anyway". The Scottish Al Qaeda spokesman said they had not had any volunteers since the emergence of Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle - now that Scottish Islamist know what a virgin looks like they are not at all keen on going to paradise!

Just taking another shot in the dark just in case someone is arriving the same time I am: 1:30am on Kuwait Airlines from Manila How about it?

I'll be 3 weeks late! Doh! Hey....do you cater birthday parties by chance?

I was looking for info on catering for my B-day party and ran across the following at Bob's BBQ website:

A Nun and a Priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the Third day out, the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed their Situation. After a long period of silence, the Priest spoke. 'Well,Sister, this looks pretty grim.' 'I know, Father. In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two.' 'I agree,' says the Father. 'Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?' 'Anything, Father.' 'I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours.' 'Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm.' The Nun opened her habit and the Priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty. 'Sister, would you mind if I touched them?' She consented and he fondled them for several minutes. The Nun then enquired: 'Father, could I ask something of you?' 'Yes, Sister?' 'I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?' 'I suppose that would be OK,' the Priest replied lifting his robe. 'Oh Father, may I touch it?' The priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was sporting a huge erection. 'Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can give life.' 'Is that true Father?' 'Yes, it is, Sister.' 'Oh Father, that's wonderful ... Stick it in the camel and let's get the hell out of here!'

Resurrected thread from the dead! Any new posts to be added? I really dig soft beds and can't ever remember staying anywhere in Pattaya that has one. The Billabong Hotel has beds that are a small step above concrete...a shame because I dig the place. Are the 4 year old posts above still accurate?

Was there Sunday right around 3pm - packed already... The food reminded me of what I'd find in a Las Vegas casino buffet, not too exciting but considering the price well worth it.

I really dig the chicken fried rice at P72.

Thanks for the nice comment! I'm looking to take my music further down the trippy, noisy path...

Bump up for a new song posted!

Looks excellent, decent price for the serving sizes. How spicy was the Kimchi soup? I prefer it to be hot as hell!

I found another one just now, but it's too big for my avatar. Feel free to add your own.

fucking folds of fat....not my thing. You KNOW that he's not getting inside of her. Way too much in the way!

Know of any decent places to get a quicky? I'd like some info please... Post away!

Nobody?

I just got this emailed to me... If you need a good laugh, try reading through these children's science exam answers Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this!) A: Keep it in the cow. Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight. Q: What are steroids? A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. Q: What happens to your body as you age? A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. A: Premature death. Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen) A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U. Q: What is the fibula? A: A small lie. Q: What does 'varicose' mean? (I do love this one...) A: Nearby. Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.' A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome. Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?' A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight. Kids Are Quick TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America. MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS: Maria. TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLEN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' TEACHER: No, that's wrong. GLEN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O. TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WINNIE: Me. TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog. TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD: A teacher.

How do you circumcise a redneck? Punch his sister in the jaw!

I'll give her a ride.....won't even charge her.

I'll be going here for the first time very shortly.

If I remember right, there's a sport store along 2nd Rd...around Mike's?

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!

Howdy everyone, want to share a taxi to Pattaya on the above mentioned date? I'm lining up a ride with Toom...