HILLY

Tee off time 9.44 and me and A.M. got there at 9am so there was time for breakies. Half way up the road to Siam the heavens opened and added more flood water to yesterdays downpours. Arriving at the check in desk the girl looked really surprised to see us but welcomed the chat as she also looked bored stupid. Looking across the course it appeared that all the bunkers now had waves lapping their tropical shores and it was about then that Tony rang to say that he didn't fancy it too much which confirmed what I already knew. So we went down to his house which is just up the road and he thrashed me at pool instead. Then is was on to Harold's driving range to hit a few hundred balls and after that a quick round at Asia in between showers. This weather had better improve before Catz open/RideHer cup which are now only 8 & 11 days away. I hear most courses within 30 miles of here are closed at the moment. To get it this wet, this late in the year is unusual to say the least. The wet season should by now be as good as over but the wind is still coming from the West but by now should have moved to the North East which brings that cooler drier air from China. It is pretty hot and very humid still as well.

Just had an email from Kalbo 11 Monte (US team). He can not make the Ride Her Cup due to problems in the PI. This would allow one late entry and is deffinate.

Thanks guys and much appreciated. They really do not seem to care about cigarettes and with the new customs forms you are not even asked to declare things any more as you used to have to. One thing not to do is to carry them in duty free bags as that is too obvious. No one has ever been stopped for fags that I know of but my son did 2 years ago when he arrived with 10 cartons in see through duty free bags and all they did was ask for a 1000 Baht. If anyone does get made to pay duty then that will be my risk and I will reimbruse that also but it is highly unlikely. Put them in your carry on bag or transfer them to your case when you have it and before customs. Deuce how many of these Ultra Lows do you want, just counted and have 25 cartons. Also have 2 cartons now of Silk Cut Blue for you. Also have 2 cartons of Mild Sevens if anyone is interested.

But I did. Ask Lobing or Lobert as the very next week I did manage to take out the Tee again without even hitting the ball which remained exactly where the tee had previously been. How I do this I really do not know as there is not enough room to get the club under the ball without moving it. However I just bought a new weapon and there is not a tee ever made that will get the ball high enough to allow this to ever happen again.

Played Burapa today with the missus and bad attitudes prevailed everywhere. It may be that the 3 day weekend holiday for Chulalonghorn day had worn the staff out but what the hell that is what they are paid for methinks. Arrived at 9.30am for a 10am Tee time but by the time you have changed and walked the half mile to pay desk you need half an hour to get to the starter desk anyway. You get your caddie in the car park and it was not until we had got them that I realised that A.M. had the same lazy bitch that Lobin had last time we played there two weeks ago but by then it was to late to ask for a replacement and on the first the silly bitch parked the buggy in front of A.M. blocking her shot altogether. I politely asked her to move the fucking thing which grudgingly she did but basically she had not got a clue. Through the round she got almost every score of A.M.'s wrong and on more than one occasion expected A.M. to walk back to the cart for a club change. However mine was pretty good and on the 8th gave the other silly bitch a talking to after which she improved a little. The greens are fairly good and so are the fairways but the semi rough is fucking lethal with that horrible long grass that grabs your clubs. Many drives to the fairways are over 160 yards also but yours truly went around with a single ball and was happy with his score. One problem was that it had rained lat night and a big sign says so Carts on the fairways please keep to the Part. I pointed out the grammatical error to the starter in my bestest Thai who said he would put the sign away until next year. :frustrated However having landed in the trees on the wrong side of the fairway on the 3rd I decided I did not fancy walking 200 yards to the ball from the Cart Part which freaked my caddie out and I explained that the rough was very dry so I would do what I wanted. She muttered something about getting cut and I agreed that it was about time that I managed such a thing as I drove over the rough to my ball. On the fourth a Thai guy arrived in his buggy with a big sign saying that he was the boss and expecting a rocket I was most surprised and delighted to be told that the fairways were now open for traffic so did huge wheelies in the mud everywhere from then on. The game went fairly well and our Pattaya Pro's (Harold and Neville) also joined us for a couple of holes as they had been teaching earlier on and knew we were on the course. The morning was drizzly and for a change it was not hot so with the weather starting to cool down you Ride Her cup guys are going to have some fun. Around the course there were many activities for the staff including fruit picking, where even a shout of four before you played your best ball to hit them failed to get a reaction, and fucking great big diggers that ignored the players and thundered on regardless of pitches or puts. We even encountered a pair of Thais having a snogging session on the 14th which is most unusual but maybe this is the mating season. Back in the changing rooms I have to say that they were dirty and not of a usual Thai standard. No staff on the ladies or gents desks and it is, help yourselves to keys and towels, and do you own check in's and out's. So it was off to the restaurant for a bite to eat but the flys had got there first in huge numbers (as others will confirm this is the most fly infested course in LOS especially when it rains and they seek shelter in your buggy) and we did not fancy sharing us or our meals with them so after a coffee and a quick coke we departed Pty. Our driver took A.M. home and I went to Jade bar to arrange Kev's room for next week. Honest that was the reason. Green fee price alone with Pty Sports Club card was 1600 Baht each with 2 buggies but there are better courses with better staff and amenities although not a bad day out IMHO.

Oz ones are fine Taxi but only if you can find Silk Cut which I have seen in Oz. If not Siver then dont buy them please. Cheers Doggie and just about to write up my Burapa report from today. See you Sunday buddy and safe flight as well.

You got it in one Doggie but it didn't seem to spoil your enjoyment last time. LOL.

Thanks Moby. Reason is that there are several golfing Brits who are good mates over next week and a few of them already said they would support the Kids Beach Party also.

I am or will start to run short of my cigarettes in the foreseeable future so I hope none of you mind me asking for some help in getting some over here. Duty free at any UK airport sells Silk Cut Silver in either 200 or 400 packs. The 400 packs are about £34.00 which is quite a saving on UK shop prices and £20.00 for the 200's. I would really appreciate any help you can give me here and for every 200 pack any of you are kind enough to get me I will add 500 Baht to the "Beach Kids Day" appeal that is currently running at the top of the members board. The 500 Baht's will be credited to your board names on the main post also. I can reimburse you in Baht or Pound Sterling cash, or to your bank accounts in the UK direct. Up to you. Please remember that it is only Silk Cut Silver that are any good and there are other flavours so please make sure they are marked Silver Here is a pic to help and many thanks. I dont think they are sold in Australia or most of the Staes but I have seen them in Miami and one other U.S. airport. If in doubt then dont buy them please. Here is the pic of the Silvers that are what I need.

Doggie. That was going to be my only day off now you have ruined it for me. You and me can take my car and we have to go home via the reservoir if you get my drift. LOL. Right off to pick up my new secret weapon from Harold.

Thursday has become our golf outing day with Lobin, Lobert, Tony and me making up a 4 ball at various venues. Today it was due to be Pattaya Country Club but as we drove adjacent to the course it was obvious that it was bloody busy so around the roundabout we go and follow Lobert and Tony to a different course. I should mention that Lobin has pissed off to Cambodia after receiving news that K11 had reopened and I am sure he will post his trip report soon. Across the countryside we go as I follow Tony with Tony knowing the way. Not. Tony blames Lobert for saying right during a phone conversation when he brakes hard and did a U-turn which saw us heading downwards at 80% and then upwards at about the same angle as I put us into 4WD for the first tricky event of the day. The sun was directly overhead when we reached the first tee but guys, this club house has to be seen to be believed. Marble and granite are everywhere as well as plasma TV's and every luxury you would expect to find in the best international courses in the world. Air con that works everywhere and to be honest it has to rate as arguably the best facilities in Thailand, The greeting from all the staff was humble and well meant and I was beginning to enjoy my visit immensely. Buggies awaited us with our caddies who were excellent if not a little inexperienced but very friendly. I am marrying mine on Saturday by the way. Lets talk about the course. It is well laid out but many years from being fully mature. The fairways are very wet right now but mostly playable. It is one hell of a long course also and we decided on the yellow tees as very few par 4 greens can be found on the second shot by high handicappers. However I have to say that it was a delight to play especially as I was 4 holes up by the 9th but I need to tell you something more. The first (B course, there are 3x9's) is a bit daunting. You stand on an elevated tee with water to the left and the right and a relatively narrow fairway between to hit on this Par 4. Thank god for Mulligans which are only allow on the first as each of us said bye bye to our new balls. The dozen workmen standing on a balcony nearby all cheered our lack lustre performance. But then we were away. No Lobert was not, as he said bye, bye, to his 2nd ball so Tony and me played the hole out. Having won the 1st with Lobert picking up we moved to the 2nd which Lobert wins and 3rd which Tony wins and this is where Lobert gets a call to say he has to go to the new bar straight away as things are not as they should be so we wave him goodbye and carry on with a 2 ball skins match. I don't want to make this post sound like I am gloating but from being 1 down on the 4th to Tony, to ending 4 up by the end of the front 9 was a supreme accomplishment for someone who has been down on his form lately but gloat I will as Tony hates losing although he puts on a very gracious front so to speak. The back nine was more of a match as Tony fought back to being 2 down on the 13th only to lose by 3 by the 18th which he did win as I retired. So I won immense sums of money that I spent in Jade bar on the way home. LOL. There is some interesting history to this course as it was the dream of 2 doctors to own their own golf course, the like of which had never been seen in LOS before. They were called Pattana and Suriya (brother of a famous Thai politician). They have thrown so much at this venture that it tells you that money is no object. Only the best of everything has been purchased including the new turbo charged buggies which must number in the hundreds. The only thing missing seems to be the customers as we only counted two other groups in the 4 hours it took us to go around. The sad thing is that just before the course was due to open Pattana died and Suriya decided to name the course after his partner. In years to come this place must get popular and is a must to try IMHO.

I said to ignore this bloody post as I posted it twice in error. It was not a trick question.

Hey Pie. I think I remember enterring A.M. ????

LOL.

Well aparently she was at least 30. It had been a game fraught with unsportsman like behaviour but we put this down to Lobin having had, shall we say, an energetic night, for someone in his twilight years. The day started badly when at 9.55am I called him to ask where he was and lo and behold the fucked out old sod was still in bed. So we arrived at Burapa somewhat late and his partner Lobert was already on his fifth cup of coffee by then and not looking that friendly. By the 5th Tony and me were 3 up and by the ninth the first bet was not only secure but the back nine was looking pretty good as well. The Catz pair however fought back to only needing a half on the 18th and here is what happened. I hit a tree and then fucked up on my 3rd and 4th shot so picked up. Lobert hacked his way half way down the fairway and picked up leaving only Lobin and Tony to decide the overall as well as the back 9. Lobin had a 60 yard pitch for his 3rd shot onto the green and Tony a 60 yarder for the same which he duffed with the ball going barely 3 yards. Lobin hits a fantastic 3rd to within 8 feet of the pin and Tony says, "well I need to hole this one then", and takes a gentle but calculated stroke at the ball. The ball pitches high and lands on the front edge of the green before it continues slowly but surely on its way and plops straight into the hole. We cheer loudly and Lobin scratches his head in dissbelief but it is not over yet as he can still get the half by sinking his 8 footer which he does, not. So next week Lobin is off to Cambodia. Oh forgot to say he also lost a bundle to Tony on side bets. Sorry Lobin but Tony told me to do this. Hehehehehe.

Asia is a 9 home par three course and we play it quite often. The 4th is particularly challenging as the silly sods planted bloody great big trees in the middle of the fairway and there is no club in my bag capable of getting over them and hitting the green. I assume that the scores mentioned were for over par so doggie managed to get round in 51 strokes. I played it last week and managed a 46 doggie. lol. Anyway the day after that I played with Tony against Lobin and Lobert on a proper course and got thrashed. I really do not get this game. Who said Asia was a rip off? At 440 Baht for 2, I reckon it is a cheap one and a half hours fun on a course that the green keepers think is actually a bloody nuisance to have to look after. The tees are ankle deep in grass and the fairways made of that horrible stuff that looks like grass but bites the club. Some of the greens would be better suited to a crazy golf course. Other than that it is awful but fun.

Consider it done mate. Looking forward to seeing the combination when you have to drop your cacks. I also know just the caddy for you.

I will arrange that small thing for you and as you are part of the US team I assure you that your clubs will be of the finest quality with beech wood shafts and solid cast iron heads. Just leave it to me. Seriously. Anyone who needs rental clubs please let us know in plenty of time. It would be awful if the US team had to play their rounds with lady's pitching wedges of which I can get dozens if needs be.

Fucking brill mate.

We played a 5 ball at Kheow last week and I have to admit to having had some major problems including actually connecting with the ball and my caddy had noticed but said very little. The round started off well with a par on the first so following that it was all pretty disheartening. Thanks to doggie however we did win some Baht off Pieman. LOL. By the 13th I was loosing interest completely and on the next par three I took my bloody driver to try and reach the 160 yard green. The ball went sky-wards and after bringing down a passing 747 it reappearing from the clouds and landed 50 yards before the green. The next hole was going well and I had a 20 yard chip to the green. It was then that my caddy gave her suggestion for the choice of club. " I think you need your pitching wood for this shot", she said. Classic. Are well, five weeks left to get my game together so its off to Harold's driving range again and to collect my clubs which have, by now, been fully customised. Not the driver though as my caddy is still trying to unbend it from around her pretty little neck.

Doggie is not on the board much at the moment and after last night that is no surprise. When the pics go up you may never hear from either of us ever again. LOL. I will answer for him that you will both be very welcome and when you confirm then your tea shirt sizes are required along with you inside leg measurement etc as well. See earlier posts. This is turning into the biggest event we have had so far and still time to up the course numbers if needs be.

That will be the one then Doggie. Dungheap its not the microphone that causes the trouble it is the Black Label. Kev. Will you be wearing undies mate? Urghhhh

Why not? Count us in then but A.M. is unlikely to play golf every day as you would have forseen. May bring her mate to keep her company. Will see you next week for a chat. Oh bliss. 5 weeks now gone and only one week left to go till we get home. Lobbin please PM me the name of the freight company you used for your stuff from S.A.

Hedging my bets here. My grandfather made and lost his fortune in the gold rushes and my family (on me ma's side) all origionate from Canada. I have several times spent 3 months or more in the USA and even once nearly bought a boat to live in in Florida. I also have a good mate who is a doctor in the USA and even shagged a US law student once. On the second time she was pissed and I gave up. Therefore can I make my mind up as to who I play for when the event gets closer?

Hey Doggie have we decided where we are playing yet????