Dungheap

Aghhh yessss.... Lam Chabang, what can I say, a rough day at the office. If I wasn't pulling it into the jungle, I was plonking it into the drink. More water there than at Sabailand. I even had to skim a 3-iron across the water just to earn a half. Doggie you Hacking Hive of Hagiss, a few pics coming your way soon, mostly with your strides around your ankles... though you should be able to repay the favor at least once. A great day had by all! Lord Hilly, don't get too down, it was your first game in months, my third this year. I should be off 36 for the Rider Her Cup on that performance alone. BTW, has your caddie had a whack with your driver yet? GP2002, the main problem was the course had too much water on it (that was obvious!) but not just the hazards, the fairways had been watered excessively plus there had been a lot of rain. On top of that, they cut the fairways real short so anyone fortunate enough to hit the 'fairway' was hitting mud balls all day. I prefered to play form the rough.

No that's my idea of a 'practice round'! My golf game is starting to look up... 5 days and counting.

Doggie, that schedule looks ideal. Let me know where we gonna meet up. Bang Chang seems the perfect 19th hole!

Just one word of warning about playing with the Sugar Shack crew, and this goes for many of the so-called 'Social Clubs' in town. The guy who runs the show, Brian, is a fast play freak who literally runs from the van to the locker, and then to the first tee so as not to get stuck behind those 'bloody Asians.' Meanwhile, any guy new to the course is left to sort out gloves, balls, payment, lockers, etc. himself. Instead of turning up cold one morning, I recommend hanging out at the Shack for a few beers in the arvo on a Mon, Wed. Fri and shoot the shit with the golfers after they return. Find some blokes you get along with and ask to play a round with them. Tell them you're new to the scene and they'll probably hold your hand and you'll have a great day.

Hub, I'm just about to buy a new digital camera (pocket size Canon IXY) for the trip and look forward to putting a few photo shoots together. Doggie, please let me know what type of program you organize. Back-to-back golf is always tough in Pattas...

Doggie, put me down as a definitely, probably, maybe. To be confirmed by the end of September. I owe you and Hub a beer from the Masters. You guys gonna be in town between 9/16-24? I'll be at the FLB most nights, certainly for the party on the 21st and at Kittens on the 23rd. Also interested in a round or two. I'll probbaly head out with the Sugar Shack crew.

Cybers, I've used them numerous times and after you pay the deposit they always bill you the full amount. They're very efficient until you have a complaint. Booked a hotel in Hua Hin and the ocean view was buffalo view. Complained and they basically shrugged their shoulders. I asked for a refund and they said no can do so I don't use them much now. They're not that cheap anyhow. Priceline will give you the Marriott Spa (Riverside) in BKK for US$41 ($51 total), Sawadee slugs you $71 or $76 or something ++ Best thing about sawadee is they cover all the main areas in Thailand, Priceline only covers BKK and Phuket.

Trvlr, I use priceline and sawadee for places I know as they can be considerably cheaper but if you're not familair with the hotel I think you're better off booking direct as many of these web sites want to charge you the full amount up front. So what happens when you arrive and that ocean-view room is merely a glimpse of water between the cracks of the two rooms in front of you? Or they want to charge you a guest fee for your lady of the night? Once you've prepaid, you're stuffed. Many hotels also allocate the crap rooms to the cheap agencies. You can beat this by contacting the hotel, telling them you're a member of their rewards program and ask for a room with views.

Shilo, I wouldn't accumulate too many miles with any airline cause you never know when they'll change the rules as of yesterday. I refuse to fly UAL or NW to LOS out of Japan because of their crazy departure times from BKK (5:50 am? 6:10? Arrives Narita 2 pm. What a waste!) Fuck that. Never, never again. If I had to chose one at least UAL is part of the Star Alliance -- ANA (my preferred carrier) TG, Lufthansa and the like.

Jan, if you're looking for THE cheapest hotel, you may want to go native and just rent a room above a bar. A Canadian tourist at my local in Soi Pattayland 1 rents a room above the bar (4F) mainly to just leave his clothes and golf clubs. Now, the room is naturally no Taj Mahal but it has a shower, bog, big bed, stereo, TV, fan and window. (I know he added many of these 'luxuries.') Less than a one-minute walk away are several restaurants and foodstalls. He says the noise is minimal. Security is tight thanks to the BGs looking out for one another and the Mama san taking care of him. The cost??? 12,000 baht a YEAR! The daily rate, according to my Casio MW-12T comes to 32.8767123287 baht!!! Just an option, folks...

Jomtien's as dirty as Pattaya 'beach' nowadays. Go to Ko Larn (Hardtien's fine) or the outer islands.

Doggie, Hub, looks like I owe you blokes a beer. And myself! Amazing final round. Happy for Phil to finally get the monkey off his back. Ernie played great but Phil was rock solid. Tiger was disappointing, wonder how long it will be before he teams up with Butch again?

What odds you get for Cejka each way Doggie? Looking good. Mickelson and Olazabal also loitering with intent... as is the Chosen One. Els, Love, O'Meara, Garcia, Couples all in the hunt. Looks like it will go down to the wire. These early mornings are killers. Siesta time.

Looks like the first link died so I added the text.

Keith you can rent clubs from the courses or from any of the bars. Suggest you head to Lewsinskis on Soi Pattayaland One. They run a pretty good social club from there and go out most days -- officially or unofficially. Drop by around 4-5 pm and introduce yourself. They'll fix you up with clubs, transport, etc. Best to bring your own shoes as rentals can be crap.

Scott shot 79 in the second round of the Memorial and missed the cut. Should bring him back to earth with a thud!

Thought I'd share these two classics: A hero for the ordinary Joe By David Feherty August 2002 The last couple of weeks on the PGA Tour pretty much summed up a lot of things that are going right at the moment. The finish at The International squashed the rumor that in order for a tournament to be interesting, Tiger has to be in the field and the Buick Open dealt nicely with any suggestion that when the Great One is playing badly, someone else has a chance. Apparently, he has to be playing very, very, badly for that to be the case. But how about that finish at Castle Pines? If granddad fell asleep in the armchair during the last hour of that one, you can go ahead and unplug him as far as I'm concerned. We've become kind of used to seeing suck-it-up and get-stoically-on-with-it behavior when less experienced leaders are caught from behind, but with Rich Beem, we got treated to how a real person feels when they have a PGA Tour event sewn up, and then not, and then sewn up again, and then not, and then...well, you saw him, he looked like someone was pushing and pulling a Christmas tree in and out of his shorts. What a freaking nightmare, and what great television! I remember Rich's last win, back at the '99 Kemper, as I was on the ground with him during the last round there, too. In fact I had been with him the day before during the third round, when, on the 12th green as he settled over a birdie putt, I suffered an embarrassing moment. The day started off normally enough. I ate lunch, and was getting wired up in the Broadcast Sports Technology RF truck, when I was struck by an unusually painful intestinal gurgle. No matter, I strapped on the waist pack known as "Talent Pack One," slid a CBS ballcap over the brain container, and finished off the ensemble by snapping on my custom-made one-can headset over the top. Terry and Gunny, the two asshole technicians who refer to me as an "MMH," (mobile mike holder) clipped the cable to the collar of my shirt, tested the signals by almost shattering my right eardrum with feedback, and sent me out to find the leaders. Sadly, by the time I'd gone a few holes with Beem's group, it became apparent that the giant cholesterol-infested greaseburger I had consumed for lunch was looking for an exit, and an epic intestinal battle was taking place. I have a feeling I've described this one somewhere in cyberspace before, and it was pretty revolting the first time, so in the interests of journalistic decency, this time I'll try to put it into a science-fiction context for y'all: Outwardly the scene was normal, as Talent Pack One cruised the sector 12 landing area, but within the confines of the humanoid's thoraxial cavity, suspended in a huge ball of gas, the alien creature was making itself ready for another run at the southern portal. Outside, in the atmosphere, the humanoid they called "Beemer" was preparing to transport the white dwarf toward the event horizon, when the commander of the telecast received a distress call from Talent Pack One. "Do not, repeat, do not call in Talent Pack One," came the plaintive cry. "I am under attack from within, by an unknown weapon, presumed biological. Southern Portal is weakening! Talent Pack One, heading for Cosmic Relief Station at warp factor 9000, Code Blue! Repeat, Code Blue! Incoming! All spectator drones in line for Cosmic Relief Station Abort, Abort, Abort! Get the hell out of my way, you assholes! Meanwhile back on earth, I'm running headlong for the portalets, across the 12th green, right behind Beemer, as he putts. He putts, he misses! Strangely, he is not pissed off, or at least not as pissed off as I, for despite my gallant effort to reach safe harbor on the other side of the 12th green, as I pass him my hitherto heroic sphincter sadly surrenders to the attack of the cholesterol-bomb, resulting in a catastrophic failure of the trouser variety, or if you like, a supernova of the shorts. Now, you all might well be asking yourselves why the hell I would share this with you, but the following day, when I joined Beemer's group for the final round, the first thing he did when he saw me was reach into his golf bag, and toss me a bottle of Pepto-Bismol. Laughing, he said, "Take a swig of that, and maybe we can get around without hurting each other!" So I did, and tossed it back to him. Fast-forward to this year's final round of the International, and a conversation I had with Beemer during a rain delay. He told me that he has a swig of Pepto before every round he plays, just to make sure "nothing happens down there!" Hey, what a recommendation! I don't know about you, but I thought Beemer's performance was one of the greatest displays of intestinal fortitude I've ever seen on a golf course, and it was made even more special by the transparent nature of the man. Here is a hero for the ordinary Joe. Steve Lowery is a great guy, but I felt that every single person who watched that telecast, from the pros in the locker room, to the folks at home, lived and died every minute of it with the Beemer. You love a guy like that, because you know him -- he's you. If the makers of Pepto-Bismol want a spokesman, they should think about paying Beem a fortune to carry a big, dusty pink bag next season. http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/golfonlin...erty/2002/0814/ ************* Five things about John Daly that will save America http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story...e=murphy/040223

Alright gentlemen, make your picks. (Four chances and one outsider) Mike Weir -- The Pride of Canada is looking as good as he was last year. Already has one win under his belt (Nissan Open) and can 'roll the rock.' Adam Scott -- The 'next Tiger' has finally arrived, or so experts like Butch Harmon say. Beat the best field of the year last week at the Players Championship and proved he can handle pressure after hitting into the drink and making bogey to win. Padraig Harrington -- This guy always seems to fly under the radar. Improving every year and is a solid putter. Phil Mickleson -- Could he finally break his drought? Bounced back after a disasterous 2003 and is hitting it as good as anyone but does he have the patience? My outsider pick goes to ... Shigeki Maruyama -- His won every year since 2000 and his injuries appear to have healed. Played great at the Nissan Open when he took Weir to the wire and ain't scared of the Big Guns. Other notables: Tiger: Ain't hitting it that good (by his standards) but can find form pretty darn quickly. Ernie Els: Always a chance. Retief Goosen: Ditto. (Editor's note: Lippo can be exchanged for a beer at the FLB Bar next time I'm in town.)

Kuba, try here. (Be warned its heavy!) http://www.ipgolfclub.com/lewiinskis.htm

Kuba, you may want to look at this thread on staying at The Haven. http://www.freelancerbar.com/cgi-bin/yabb/...;num=1076429041 I have no experience there myself. I used to always play out of the Sugar Shack (Soi Pattayaland 1) but got fed up with the selfish attitude of the organizer there and switched to Lewinskis across the road last trip. Many of these guys forget it's meant to be a social day out and are too concerned with running from the bus to the first tee (I kid you not!) to get ahead of the 'fuckin' Asians' than helping some of the guys buy balls, find their locker etc. Steve at Lewinskis is a good tour guide. Many of the Shack guys now play out of there but to be fair it also has a few uptight members who take themselves way too seriously. If you find some guys you enjoy playing golf with, stick with them!

I hope to make this year's event and it would be great if it could be held around Loi Krathong. Do you need an official handicap or does a letter from your local pro begging to play off 36 suffice? ;D ;D ;D

I've stayed at the Rotal President (same family) before and will never again. Home page image is rather misleading. My experience was springs sticking out of the stained sofa, room in a back wing isolated from everything, trickling dirty, cold shower, etc. For the price range (about US$50-60 a night) you're better off paying a few bucks more and book the JW Marriott through Priceline HK, IMHO.

One of the guys at Lewiskis lent me his ID for a few rounds in October. Apart from him and I looking as alike as Vijya Singh and Mike Weir, no problem as the front desk never checked IDs. But if you're gonna play more than a few rounds, probably best to join.

Took the train to Chang Mai some 18 years ago (Night trip up, day trip back) and took the train to Hua Hin only two months ago. I love traveling by train and not much has changed. A few tips: As others said, book early. Second class air con is more than adequate for a day trip. First class my prefered option for overnight. In second class, expect two wide lounge like chairs facing each other that slide together to become the bottom bunk. Top bunk is a pull-down and not that comfortable if you a big bloke. There is (was?) a dining car on the Chiang Mai train plus plenty of vendors selling everthing from this fairy floss-like cake to noodles. We were in the last carriage of 18 on the trip to Hua Hin and the waiter/conductor would bring up a bucket of iced beers every 30 minutes. He also took orders for food and brought it up to our seats and set up a table. Food varied: fried rice OK but the Thai style sausage we thought we ordered was some bland pre-made orange sausage that we fed to the passing buffaloes! Take a book, bar girl or some form of entertainment. ;D

Only with last night's catch. But you never know...