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BOSS said to an employee: "Do you believe in life after Death? EMPLOYEE: "Certainly not! There’s no proof of it", he replied. BOSS: "Well, there is now. After you left early yesterday to go to your uncle’s funeral,he came here looking for you.!"

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The President of the United States of America, George W. Bush had a heart attack and died. He went to hell where the devil was waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you, but you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got 3 people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed. The devil opened the first room. In it was former President Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing gasping for air, then immediately diving back into the water again over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell. "No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long." The devil let him to the next room. In it was British Prime Minister Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No way, I've got this problem with my shoulder. It would be constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented George. The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw former President Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs in a spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. George Bush looked at this in disbelief for awhile and finally said, "Yeah I could handle this." The devil smiled and said . . . "Monica, you're free to go!"

She came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. The wife was VERY upset! "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me - a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce straight away!" And he replied: "Hang on just a minute luv, so at least I can tell you what happened" "Fine, go ahead", she sobbed, " but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!" And he began: "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments. Since she needed a good clean-up I suggested a shower and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair like them.." He took a quick breath and continued: "She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said "Please..... ...do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'

An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA when the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you?" The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you mean." The American repeated, What kind of -ese are you?" Again, the Japanese was confused over the question. The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you . Are you a Chinese, Japanese,Vietnamese!, etc......???" The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese." A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked: What kind of 'kee' are you. The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of '-kee' am I?!" The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?"

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. Law of the Telephone: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time). Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. Law of Bio mechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. Law of the Theatre: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. Law of Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug. Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly. Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet. Wilson 's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. ~~~Have a Great Day~~~

A man had two great tickets for the Football Cup final. As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. "No", he says, "the seat is empty". "This is incredible!" said the man, "who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the FA cup final, the biggest sporting event in the year, and not use it?" He says, "well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away. This is the first Cup Final we haven't been together since we got married". "Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. I guess you couldn't find someone else, a friend or relative or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head... "No. They're all at the funeral".

*This joke won an award for the best joke in a competition organized in Britain and was sent by an Indian.*** Banta Singh walks into a bar in Ludhiana & orders three glasses of Beer and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, "You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the glass; it would taste better if you bought one at a time." Banta Singh replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Dubai, the other in Canada, and I'm here in Ludhiana. When they left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. Banta Singh becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: He orders three Beers and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders only two Beers. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says," I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss." Banta Singh looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he, says, "Everyone's fine - both my brothers are alive" "Only thing is, I just quit drinking"..

True Telephone conversations recorded from various Help Desks around the U.K * >-------------------------------------------------------------------- >*Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have? >Customer: A white one... * >-------------------------------------------------------------------- >*Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. >Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button? >Customer: Yes, but it's really stuck. >Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note .. >Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry .... * >-------------------------------------------------------------------- >*Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. >Customer: Your left or my left? * >-------------------------------------------------------------------- >*Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you? >Male customer: Hello... I can't print. >Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ... >Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it! * >-------------------------------------------------------------------- >*(THIS ONE KILLS ME!) * >*Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says >'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in >front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it... * >-------------------------------------------------------------------- >*Customer: I have problems printing in red... >Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer? >Customer: No. * >-------------------------------------------------------------------- >*Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am? >Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket. * >-------------------------------------------------------------------- >*Helpdesk: And now hit F8. >Customer: It's not working. >Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly? >Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening... * >-------------------------------------------------------------------- >*Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. >Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? >Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. >Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. >Customer: OK >Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you? >Customer: Yes >Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? >Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work! >-------------------------------------------------------------------- >*Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. >Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters? * >-------------------------------------------------------------------- >*A customer couldn't get on the internet. >Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password? >Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. >Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was? >Customer: Five stars.* > > > -------------------------------------------------------------------- > *Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use? > Customer: Netscape. > Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program. > Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer. * > -------------------------------------------------------------------- > Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears! * > -------------------------------------------------------------------- > *Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you? > Customer: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me? > Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem? > Customer: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me? * > -------------------------------------------------------------------- > *Helpdesk: How may I help you? > Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. > Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem? > Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it?*

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man said, "I don't think you understand, I want something very special." At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler said. The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it." The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, "by check." "I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon." Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man. "There's no money in that account." "I know", said the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had?"

BELIEVE" it or not, >> >Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency? >Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on >the corner. >Dispatcher: Do you have an address? >Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why? > > >Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency? >Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and >cheese sandwich. >Dispatcher: Excuse me? >Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table >and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it. >Dispatcher: Was anything else taken? >Caller:! No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it! > > >Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency? >Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an >eleven on it. >Dispatcher: This is nine eleven. >Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one >Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing. >Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid. > > >Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency? >Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart >Dispatcher: Is this her first child? >Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband! > >And the final one is.......... > >Dispatcher: 9-1-1 >Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. >Darn....I think I'm going to pass out. >Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from? >Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster. >Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic? >Caller: No >Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing? >Caller: Running from the Police.

If you feel sex is a PAIN in the ASS You are doing it the wrong way

> >>>A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is > >>>installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to > >>>withdraw cash > >>>without leaving their vehicles. Customers using t his new facility are > >>> > >>>requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their > >>>accounts. > >>>After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have > >>>been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender." > >>>MALE PROCEDURE: > >>>1. Drive up to the cash machine. > >>>2. Put down your car window. > >>>3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. > >>>4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. > >>>5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt. > >>>6. Put window up. > >>>7. Drive off. ********************************************************* > >>> FEMALE PROCEDURE: > >>>1. Drive up to cash machine. > >>>2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window > >>> with the machine. > >>>3. Set parking brake, put the window down. > >>>4. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to > >>> locate card. > >>>5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang > >>> up. > >>>6. Attempt to insert card into machine. > >>>7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its > >>> excessive distance from the car. > >>>8. Insert card. > >>>9. Re-insert card the right way. > >>>10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on > >>> the inside back page. > >>>11. Enter PIN. > >>>12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. > >>>13. Enter amount of cash required. > >>>14. Check makeup in rear view mirror. > >>>15. Retrieve cash and receipt. > >>>16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside. > >>>17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in > >>> back of checkbook. > >>>18. Re-check makeup. > >>>19. Drive forward 2 feet. > >>>20. Reverse back to cash machine. > >>>21. Retrieve card. > >>>22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into > >>> the slot provided. > >>>23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you. > >>>24. Restart stalled engine and pull off. > >>>25. Redial person on cell phone. > >>>26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles. > >>>27. Release Parking Brake. > >>> > >>>SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE LADIES YOU > >>>THINK CAN HANDLE IT!

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. -Albert Einstein +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. - Robert Frost +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. - Franklin P. Jones +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like? -Jean Cocturan +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper. - Jerry Seinfeld +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose. - Darrin Weinberg +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome." +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again. +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers. +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop. +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk. +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= Forgive your enemies but remember their names. +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action. +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= Dont worry that the world ends today, its already tomorrow in Australia. +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= U learn in life when u lose +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= "Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them." --Albert Einstein

Here are some hilarious Kenyan court room moments. Reported in the Nairobi Bar Association Lawyers monthly Journal, that the following are questions actually asked of witnesses by lawyers during trials and, in certain cases, the some responses given by insightful witnesses: 1. "Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?" 2. "The youngest son, the twenty-ye! ar old, how old is he?" (by Kibugi Muite) 3. "Were you present when your picture was taken?" (Imanyara G.) 4. "Were you alone or by yourself?" 5. "Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?" 6. "Did he kill you?" 7. "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?" (some lawyer from Kiambu) 8. "You were there until the time you left, is that true?" 9. "How many times have you committed suicide?" (by Amos Wako) 10. Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?" A: "Yes." Q: "And what were you doing at that time?" (Ochieng Ondeyo Advocates) 11. Q: "She had three children, right?" A: "Yes." Q: "How many were boys?" A: "None." Q: "Were there any girls?" (Mugo Muriuki & Co.) 12. Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?" A: "Yes." Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?" (Kanyi Advocates) 13. Q: "Mr. Kimani, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you? A: "I went to Europe, sir." Q: "And you took your new wife?" 14. Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?" A: "By death." Q: "And by whose death was it terminated?" 15. Q: "Can you describe the individual?" A: "He was about medium height and had a beard." Q: "Was this a male or female?" 16. Q: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice, which I sent to your lawyer?" A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work." 17. Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?" A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people." 18. Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?" A: "Oral." Q: "How old are you?" A: "Oral" 19. Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?" A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m." Q: "And Mr. Mbogori was dead at the time?" A: "! No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy." 20. Q: "You were not shot in the fracas?" A: "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval." 21. Q: "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?" A: "I have been since early childhood."

It's not difficult All you have to do is to be: 1. A friend 2. A companion 3. A lover 4. A brother 5. A father 6. A master 7. A chef 8. An electrician 9. A carpenter 10. A plumber 11. A mechanic 12. A decorator 13. A stylist 14. A sexologist 15. A gynecologist 16. A psychologist 17. A pest exterminator 18. A psychiatrist 19. A healer 20. A good listener 21. An organizer AND ALSO 22. Warm 23. Very clean 24. Sympathetic 25. Athletic 26. Attentive 27. Gallant 28. Intelligent 29. Funny 30. Creative 31. Tender 32. Strong 33. Understanding 34. Tolerant 35. Prudent 36. Ambitious 37. Capable 38. Courageous 39. Determined 40. True 41. Dependable 42. Passionate WITHOUT FORGETTING TO: 44. Give her compliments regularly 45. Love shopping 46. Be honest 47. Be very rich 48. Not stress her out 49. Not look at other girls AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO: 50. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself 51. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself 52. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes IT IS VERY IMPORTANT: 3 Never to forget: * birthdays * anniversaries * arrangements she makes HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY!!! : 1.Leave him in peace, NO Nagging (very, very, very important). 2.Feed him well. 3.Let him have the remote control. and and

WIFE: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again? HUSBAND: Definitely not! WIFE: Why not - don't you like being married? HUSBAND: Of course I do. WIFE: Then why wouldn't you remarry? HUSBAND: Okay, I'd get married again. WIFE: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face). HUSBAND: makes audible groan). WIFE: Would you live in our house? HUSBAND: Sure, it's a great house. WIFE: Would you sleep with her in our bed? HUSBAND: Where else would we sleep? WIFE: Would you let her drive my car? HUSBAND: Probably, it is almost new. WIFE: Would you replace my pictures with hers? HUSBAND: That would seem like the proper thing to do. WIFE: Would she use my golf clubs? HUSBAND: No, she's left-handed. WIFE: silence HUSBAND: F**k

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Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Is there ever a day when mattresses are not on sale? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?" Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? And my FAVORITE...... The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.