Bagwan

Perhaps one of the UK newspapers will expose the scheme whereby immigrants from the sub-continent (and elsewhere as far as I know) go to see one of their own doctors, get a prescription for top class medicine, collect the goods and then mail the goodies to their relatives back home. Or would that be construed as racist?

I returned on a visit to the UK just before my 65th and received a letter from DSS asking me to call at the local office and take ID with me. On arrival I was accosted by a scruffy security guard who appeared to be of Pakistani origin. His manner was aggressive and he asked what I was calling about. I told him to mind his own business and barged past him. At reception I was asked if they could be of help and I replied that I was calling to arrange the repayment of some of the money which I had been systematically robbed of for the past 50 years. They looked puzzled and I explained that I wanted my pension. When I saw somebody, I was asked for my ID (took my passport) and I replied that nobody had asked for that when they took MY money. I told the DSS to send all mail to my ex-wife's address before I left UK for good. The Revenue know I live here. Best of both worlds. The two agencies do not talk to each other it seems. All was well, annual increases, winter heating allowance, Xmas bonus etc paid straight into my offshore bank account. In April somebody put their tea cup and copy of the Daily Mirror down and noticed that my ex was also receiving winter heating allowance. They told her that two people in the same house cannot both claim and they would reduce her, and my, allowance by half i.e. the allowance would be shared. They also said that they would review her entitlement to Disability Allowance, poor dear has had two strokes, and that maybe she wasn't entitled to a new car every three years. She wrote back and said that I didn't live there and I was using her home as an accomodation address. They immediately stopped payment of my Retirement Pension. I didn't notice until the back end of August. Only two days ago have I managed to get it re-instated. I received a form asking for a permanent UK address where I was on the voters list. Rats! It seems that I don't get any more annual increases. In retaliation I have told them that if I need expensive medical treatment I shall catch an airplane home, and stay there until I recover. I shall also ensure that when I join the famous Norweigan Blue parrot that Death Benefit is claimed. Furthermore I have submitted a claim so that my Thai wife, legally married and notarised, would receive dosh from the UK Government for the rest of her days. Fuck you Godon Brown. Doesn't this moron realise that by leaving to enjoy a well earned retirement I am helping to free up the housing market, am not drawing on the resources of the NHS, do not need a bus pass and shorten the Post Office queue on Thursdays? He is supposed to be a Socialist? Not that the Tories, if they ever get back in will rectify the situation. Face it folks. No good writing to your MP 'cos you have not got one. You don't have a vote any more. They'll prevaricate anyway hoping you'll join the Celestial Choir some day soon. You're just like little Noi last night - well. F****d. BTW If you live in Spain and some other countries you will get annual increases. Crazy or what? :frustrated :frustrated :frustrated

And horizontal!

Before booking your hotel you might care to Google for Precision Reservations Thailand. A selection of hotels in the location of choice will be shown. If you book at least 3 days before arrival you will pay about 60% of rack room rate. Walking in off the street will cost you money. Then check the asking price against what the hotel want. I have lived in Thailand for 5 years and travel around quite a bit. I always use this service and has saved me a bomb. Regular users get bonuses. When I first arrived at about 7 in the morning I got a "airport mafia" taxi into Krung Thep costing 300 baht. I'm not a skinflint but hate being taken for a ride - if you'll excuse the expression. :-) Now I walk out of the airport to the main road and flag a taxi down. Ensure that the meter works - if not tell the driver to go forth and multiply. Trip to town should be about 70 baht. I always pay twice the meter fare as the authorised fares are far too low. After 11 hours at the tender mercies of Thai Air, or some other airborne bus company, you'll be shagged out and a night in a Bangkok hotel (pre-booked!) will be welcome. Will give you the chance to shower, kip and have a walk round the fleshpots of Sukhumvit Road. That you are a tourist will be picked up on immediately ( clothes, pasty white skin, bewildered look on face) and you'll be excessively charged for everything. In the morning catch the Skytrain to Ekamai bus station for a bus toPattaya. Fare now 105 baht I think, versus 1500 baht by taxi. You may strike lucky and meet a returning TBG on the bus. At Pattaya bus station on Pattaya Nua you will be confronted with the notorious baht bus mafia. These hoods seem to have the Mayor and police in their pockets. DO NOT MESS WITH THEM. If you have light luggage i.e. you have followed advice and taken the minimum of everything, a taxi motor bike will take you to where you want to go and 70 baht should get you anywhere in town. You may find yourself offering Hail Marys in an upward direction until you get used to the kamikaze riders. No No's to first time visitors. Do not get into heated arguments with Thais. NEVER hit a Thai unless you want a severe beating from a mob. Thais stick together, and for many, behind the ingratiating smiles is a deep contempt for Farangs. Avoid all contact with the police - even the Thais hate them. It is reckoned that half the crime in Thailand is carried out by them. Never carry around more money than you can afford to lose. If a gorgeous young thing comes up to you and throws her arms around you, hang on to your wallet, gold chain, watch etc. You're being frisked and dipped by a fella (of sorts) and they are experts. If you want something done,get a woman to do it for you; most Thai men that you will come into contact with are totally moronic. I am not the oracle but that is my take on things - for what it is worth. Have fun - but be careful. P.S. The FLB bar on Walking Street is OK. Their parties are wild. IMHO the best ST bar in town is TJ's (Terry's) on Soi 6, the best English pub and restaurant is The Pig and Whistle, on Soi 7.

This is not specific to BPH but applies to all medical facilities. A Thai doctor writes out prescriptions to treat symptoms as well as treating the cause of illness/discomfort. My guess is that they follow American practice and cover all bases in case of civil actions. My take is that only the condition needs to be treated, not the symptoms. Cure the cause and the symptoms disappear. Over usage of drugs leads in some cases to drug resistance and possible mutation of viruses or other toxicological problems. Thai doctors act like God and the concept that I am responsible for my body NOT them is a novel one to them. I go for a consultation and expect the doctor to discuss with me possible causes, prognosis and treatments. I can chose whether to accept and act on their advice or not. Some estimation of costs before committing oneself is a good idea and may prevent a heart attack on presentation of the bill! Fot those who do not like to throw money away I suggest that they ask for a prescription and trot down to a reputable chemist and purchase medication over the counter. Big savings. The doctor that I consult and I are on excellent terms and he gives me, when necessary, a prescription which I take to a nearby pharmacist. That he owns 50% of the place is off course irrelevant.

A number of relatives of a good friend of mine have died of bowel cancer and he gets himself tested every year, just in case. I understand that the procedure involves passing a tube into his fundamental orifice and having a good look round and maybe taking biopsy specimens. (What do you do for a living Daddy? I look up people's asses Son!) Anyway, BPH wanted 45K baht, International wanted about half that, Memorial ( a long wait here!) asked 9K. He took himself down to the Navy hospital at Sattahip, waited 3 hours, the deed was done, cost 300 baht. I have several issues with BPH and will never set foot in the place again. The Government laboratory sells 28 days supply of anti-virals to treat HIV positive folks (my wife is afflicted) for 1200 baht. BPH were selling them at 2600. Marketing, packaging, transport and storage costs must be neglible. Usury or what? This is a life saving drug for Christ sake. Caring profession? B*ll*cks. 300 baht for a chit for immigration to say I do not have elephantisis, the clap, malaria etc and no examination is carried out, when any clinic will sell for 50 baht? One doctor's diagnosis in respect of a condition I had was so off beam I told him to consult a proctologist as it appeared to me that he needed a brain transplant. I recognise that BPH is a commercial operation and that profits MUST be made to ensure that the operation grows and services improved but the avaricity of the management of this place exceeds that of a go-go girl or some bars. What do they spend the money on? Out back is a temple for the criminally narcissitic i.e. those with less than perfect complexions or those wanting a nose job. If they want to make a few extra baht I suggest that these folks supply it, not those staring an untimely death in the face. I could go on - but rant over, at least for the time being.