Bagwan

One sure way to find new friends in Pattaya? A no brainer. Walk into any bar and ring the bell.

Only meat to import would be mutton bayonet, pork sword, beef bazooka. Anything else is surplus to requirements.

Was talking to a jeweller in Hatton Gardens. He said Thai gold is really too soft for jewellery and too flashy for Western tastes. The price has gone up recently

I have smoked cigarettes for 55 years. During that time doctors have warned me of the dangers. All the doctors are now dead and my annual X-ray shows no significant damage to my lungs. Maybe I have the right genes? (No, no Levi's) On a recent visit to PIH a young over keen doctor launched into a lecture and I promptly told him to button up. I pointed out that to get to the hospital I had driven 8 kilometres down Sukhumvit Road and then along 2nd Road. THAT was dangerous! We all find our own way to the grave - and hell. On the other hand I try to discourage people from taking up this obnoxiou

As others have pointed out the weather shouldn't be a factor. I'm knocking on the door of 70 years and play golf two or three times per week all year round. I keep my thermos topped up with iced water at all times as I drink at least half a gallon on my way round. I also keep a polythene bag in which I keep a face flannel. My caddy keeps this bag topped up with ice from the kiosks around the course. This may not be a practical solution for you walking (staggering?) round town. Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun. It should be remembered that English gentlemen do not sweat. Th

It would appear that I am out of step with the posters here. Who gives a rat's arse about Levi's, 501's? In my book jeans are jeans. Does it massage your ego wearing clothes with a certain label? Do you think you attain some sort of status? What is the point of buying a Rolls-Royce when a Toyota would do the job at a reasonable price? Understand that I am not being judgemental, merely seeking clarification. I once saw two friends arguing whether the Armani jacket one was wearing was in fact genuine. They came to blows over it. I thought telephoning for the men in white suits to come and

Bus terminal for Pattaya at Don Muang used to be at the Domestic Terminal. Any news of termination of the service has not reached my ears - or any other part of my anatomy. Only 3 or 4 buses per day however so only of use to the criminally indigent. Baht buses at Pattaya Nua terminal on a lucrative police protected scam. All bus fares are posted inside the bus. Fare to Beach Road hould be only 5 baht but I for one would not argue with these cowboys, certainly not over 15 baht.

I tried Boots but the gism kept leaking out of the lace holes.

Tyfon, you're a real Boy Scout. Always prepared.

Now that the Immigration office has moved to Jomtien photographs in colour are permitted i.e. the scam re black and white colour pics has terminated. I had a long term dalliance with a fairly senior immigration police officer ( no details provide to protect the guilty) who told me that the police owned the shack on the corner. Anybody who refuses a personal or baggage search at an airport SHOULD forget any notion of travelling, especially if his head is in bandages or he has not been recently acquainted with a razor. Similarly with ladies wearing a shroud. My take is that such a person

When I bought a second hand speedboat the trailer came with it as part of the deal. I kept the boat at the big boatyard by the new pier at Pattaya Tai. Cost was 2000 per month, launch and recover as much as you like. The guy running the place is OK, no rip offs in my experience. He advised me to use his father who runs a boat repair outfit to attend to any maintenance or repair to the fabric of the boat. He did a good gob at a reasonable cost. I was also advised to use an engine mechanic who operates out of Koh Larn rather than the people with workshops near the yard. No complaints about this

Yes

May I introduce some of you guys to Colgate? And stay away from Coca-Cola. It murders teeth. All smokers might care to try Zact Lion toothpaste, available in any supermarket. It works - unlike me. That will be 50 guineas please. Signed A bent dentist All the laudatory comments re PIH are justified in my experience. Dr Kijikarn Junda who qualified with 1st class Honours takes care of me and I have had only good experiences with the gnashers department upstairs.

Bloody hilarious. Should give the jet lag sufferers something to think about.

A couple of years ago Banglamung Mail Office was notorious for removing cash tucked inside letters. Letters to BGs from friends (I was acting as a forwarding agent) all arrived in a polythene bag with a note saying that the letter had arrived at Banglamung opened. My take is that postal authorities at Don Muang and the main sorting office in BKK would be too busy to be the culprits.

How much money you need to live (not survive!) will depend on your life style. If you intend to sit in a gogo every night ogling young ladies not wearing a lot wriggling their asses while holding on to a pole, while pouring copious amounts of poison down your throat until you fall over then expect to spend quite a bit. On the other hand if you adopt a more conservative lifestyle I find 70 big ones a month is enough. I settled down 4 years ago with a very special lady, we eat out 5 or 6 times per week (lunches and dinners), I play golf 2 or 3 times per week, I support her family but not to ex

Plug into USB slot, click on My Computer and click on the device logo. You will see all your files. Easier than replacing a GF in Pattaya.

You go to Soi 7 and in the morning go to PIH on Soi 4 :-)

Approaching the maufacturer may be a no-no. Being a farang they might well assume that you are a Copyright agency snoop. Penalties are horrendous i.e. loss of counterfeit goods and machinery, a hefty fine - and probably time too.

During my induction as an airline steward - what a job. I shagged myself to a stand still - we attended lectures by a Captain who explained the theory and practice of flight. He reminded us that each landing is merely a controlled crash. The safest part of any flight is at cruising altitude. The most dangerous is eating the crap food. BTW being pissed on an aircraft is a serious offence.

Arriving about 0700 the queue to get through Customs Green Channel seemed endless. I assume there was some sort of purge on. I went through the deserted Red Channel, confessed to carrying drugs and produced medication and a prescription. I was waved straight through.

Thailand is a Buddhist country and Christmas is not celebrated by locals. Visitors have a good time though and efforts are made to provide seasonal fare aka make a few extra bob. More than enough totty to go round - or through! Bangkok more pricey than Pattaya, dirtier, more polluted, noisier but it has it's fans

Quote :- It aint just for old fogies. The only issue to worry about is money. I support your contention. There is more than enough for all here. I object to your disrespectful phraseology. Your second sentence above crystalises the adverse reaction of us more senior members of the brotherhood. Have you got a grand sterling per month to fritter? There are more than enough sad sacks here who have run out of money. We don't want to read about you diving off the 12th floor.

What ever happened to music? Come back Vera Lynn. All is forgiven! We'll all join in the chorus of "Whale meat again".

Suksabai Villas at the very top end of Soi 17 is quiet and relatively crime free. You can rent a house from 15K baht upwards per month or purchase for 2.5 million baht upwards. Is convenient for Pattaya Tai & Thepprasit Road: Jomtien is reachable. Living the east side of Sukhumvit is not recommended. The highway is more effective than the Berlin Wall was.