Things we wish we could say out loud

[Mescalito 19]

Things we wish we could say out loud at work :

 

I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.

 

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

 

How about never? Is never good for you?

 

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

 

I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

 

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

 

I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

 

I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

 

It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

 

Ahhh..... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again....

 

I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

 

You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

 

I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.

 

I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

 

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

 

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

 

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

 

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

 

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

 

And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be.....?

 

Do I look like a people person?

 

This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

 

I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

 

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

 

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

 

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

 

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

 

Chaos, panic & disorder- my work here is done.

 

How do I set a laser printer to stun?

[Sailfast 503]

Very FUNNY!

 

Sailfast

[wolfeight 0]

Once heard the works bullshitter get told by when of his Female staff about to go on maternity leave "When I want to hear your opinion Ill give it to you".

 

Hormones I reckon,but did he deserve it,and did i laugh.

[suitcase 0]

There is only so much stupidity and bullshit that I can take from someone so I have said many of the above statements out loud and felt better for having said them.

 

One of my favorites that I use often is "What makes you think that I give a shit?" Or, "Do I look even a little bit interested in what you have to say?"

 

I don't say these things to just anyone nor do I say them as soon as they pop into my head. I wait until I'm convinced that the person is a real idiot, then I let loose.

 

Suitcase