Nightmarch

[PattayaPete 530]

Age Hasn't Wearied Him: Congratulations to Chris Leat, the current majority shareholder and one of the original owners of the highly-regarded Blues Factory live music venue (Soi Lucky Star, off Walking Street), celebrated his birthday on 17 March, St Patrick's Day. Not being a football fan I don't know whether Chelsea, his home team, did the right thing and won whatever match they might have been engaged in that weekend; then again, Chris was probably too inebriated to care…until after the hangover wore off.

 

Truth in Advertising? On the recommendation of a friend (whose well-trained Labrador, I would soon learn, must have been undergoing corrective eye surgery) I made the mistake of wandering into the Naughty Girls table dancing den (Soi Diamond). A sign outside suggests ‘100' ladies (actually spelt ‘ladis') would be working inside; talk about hyperbole. I counted 15 damsels performing the table dance shuffle, only three of whom piqued any tumescent interest.

 

One of these, hardly a spring chicken at the age of 32 -as if I can talk- had just managed to squeeze herself next to me and after a brief introduction of name, rank, and serial number I was then confronted by a waitress with all the charm of a malfunctioning nuclear reactor who asked if I would care to purchase said seated damsel a drink. No prizes for guessing my answer. Before the veteran chrome pole molester slipped off to find easier victims, I asked her the whereabouts of the other 85 ladies deemed to be working in the joint. After a few seconds of blank expression, a 10-watt bulb swung into action and she ‘got with the program' as the Yanks would say and made comments such as, “Day off, bar fine, sick…” What, 85 of them? Either the advertising is exaggerated, or this place may be concealing a serious congenital illness among its dancers.

 

The music was OK when I first went in and then went suddenly downhill, descending into painful car alarm; libations are no great value with liver wasters at 100 baht. Once more I left a place wondering why the more I seem to pay for a drink the lower the quality of the damsels seems to be.

 

Now That's What I Call a Meat Tray: After months of lying idle, the Stringfellows gogo (Soi Yamato) recently re-opened and didn't require a name change for the simple reason the sign says it all. According to my informants the joint has been taken over by the people who run the Goldfingers chrome pole palace in Soi 7, but the difference between the pair is Stringfellows has a crutch of dancing danglers as their attraction.

 

Around a dozen or so lady-boys strut their stuff in what is Fun City's first den of the chrome pole of its kind away from Walking Street. There's no happy hour but Thai rotgut is 65 baht and bottled amber fluid and house liver wasters 80 baht.

 

Worth a Few Rounds: I tend not to write too much about bar beers for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that most of them sell over-priced libations while employing -at best in most cases- only a couple of attractive damsels, while many of the others would be better suited returning to the rump of a water buffalo. I've found the best and most comfortable beer boozers to be those that are enclosed and operate as stand-alone enterprises.

 

One which fits this style is the Boxing Roo on Third Road (about 50 metres up from the long-running Buffalo ). No prizes for guessing the place is owned and run by fellow Aussies; perhaps part of the reason why I like it.

 

Since the place is away from the usual track trudged by the back-poking brigade of purveyors of sundry items from VCD's to cigarettes, customers can sit and enjoy a libation or 20 without hassle.

 

The damsels employed to entertain customers are a mixed bag, but most are friendly and would suit most tastes. There are two free pool tables for customers to use, with probably the most unforgiving pockets in Pattaya (except when it comes to the white ball).

 

The music is brilliant, from a time prior to the advent of house/trance/techno/hip hop and albeit more appreciated by Australians or people of greater than a certain vintage. I was in the boozer on a Friday evening recently and heard music by singers I had almost forgotten ever existed: Johnny O'Keefe (Australia's ‘wild' man of rock and roll who died in his early forties; around the same time as Elvis), Russell Morris, Brian Cadd, The Deltones, The Angels (with ‘Am I Ever Going to See Your Face Again?', a title most club goers of the late 70s and early 80s will remember was shamelessly re-worked by the masses into ‘Are You Ever Going to Sit on My Face Again?'), The Seekers, John Farnham, and many more.

 

Lolly water starts at 40 baht, Heineken and Tiger amber are 60 baht, most liver wasters around 80 baht. The boozer has Victoria Bitter -that most delectable of amber liquids- for 100 baht as well as Foster's (for those who think Aussies drink this stuff…we don't) at the same impost.

 

The Jewel is Back in the Crown: After a few months where it lost its way in a mire of partnership difficulties, the Diamond gogo (Soi Diamond) seems to be heading back in the right direction. The place has around 35 chrome pole molesters and the shows, especially the one involving a brace of girls speaking in tongues, are worth a look if you haven't seen them previously. Most libations are priced under 100 baht.

 

What's Wrong With This Picture: A couple of weeks back I went out one night on Walking Street with a friend from England, and the first three places we went into provided some significant variation in terms of the ratio of good quality dancers (in our opinion) compared to the price of drinks.

 

We kicked off in the New Living Dolls 1 gogo, downing a single liver waster. This was just 45 baht, at the end of happy hour; I think the general impost is 90 baht outside happy hour. The quality of the damsels hugging the chrome poles was top-shelf, and only a curmudgeonly punter would be unable to find at least one girl for whom he couldn't happily purchase a condo, or at the very least a Suzuki Smash. It's no surprise the place is usually busy with a good atmosphere as well.

 

Then it was on to Coyotee's, down in Soi Marina Plaza . Another liver waster (95 baht; industry standard) and the dancers were definitely a worthy bunch, although for my personal taste not quite as good as in Living Dolls. Upstairs the management have installed three bird-baths. Now before you start thinking they've decided to branch out into the aviary caper, these bird baths are designed to hold a ‘resting' dancer who languishes in the fashion of a wrinkled mermaid while punters indulge in liquid refreshments.

 

It's the perfect place for a private party; the night we were in happened to coincide with Pattaya Today's real estate correspondent Peter Lloyd's stag night. The shows downstairs usually commence around 10:00PM and one, involving bananas, is worth checking for those who might be searching for that special lass with the kind of ability to speak in tongues without actually saying anything. I'd certainly like the banana concession for the joint.

 

My friend had not been into X-Zone in the Covent Garden complex and expressed a desire to check the place out. So we wandered in and partook of another liver destroying libation. This proved easily the most expensive, at 120 baht. Unfortunately, this proved to be the poorest of the trio in terms of delectable dancers. It seemed to be the more we paid for a drink, the poorer the ‘quality' of the chrome pole molesters went.

 

Regarding X-Zone, I have to say I haven't personally been impressed at any of the three times I've been in, and yet I am aware of at least three people involved in bars here in Fun Town who told me they quite like the place. Part of the attraction appears to be the regular show involving birthday-suited damsels and copious quantities of water and soap. Since the three people who have told me they like the place happen to be Poms, I can only assume part of the attraction is the fascination they have with the employment of soap as a cleaning agent. It puts me in mind of the old joke, Q: “Where does a Pom hide his money?” A: “Under the soap”.

 

I find the bar is far too big and barn-like; you wouldn't want to be myopic. It's very much like the long-gone Baby 3 chrome pole palace in the size sense. As with anything, I can only write as I see things personally. This does not mean I'm right. Others clearly see something in X-Zone that I haven't and I can only suggest people go and make up their own minds.

 

Lees Time, More Money: Word on the street is that some of the pay-for-play som dtam -wouldn't melt in their mouth working girls are starting to demand 2,500 baht for Sierra-Tango (S/T) activities.

 

Piece of Pith: “It is because the slave takes his name from his master.” (Casanova's answer when asked, at the age of 11, why the Latin word for vagina was masculine and the word for penis feminine)

[dacah 0]

Nice one...am looking forward to going to Pattaya end of May...spent time in Jontien last month as a newbie went into Pattaya with my GF and she didnt much like the poachers... this time doing much research with the help of this forum... and have had lots of info...please keep it up

 

Regards to all...... any boardies around 19th to 25th May want o meet up for a drink ?

 

Regards to all

 

Dacah

[PenName 1]

2,500bt for short time? Um, how wide spread (pun intended, or not) is this becoming?

 

Pen