Courtroom Drama

[Braveheart 0]

Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question unprepared for the answer.

 

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, Mrs Jones, do you know me? She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams". I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a real disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you cheat people and talk about them behind their backs.You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you very well.

 

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he looked across the room and asked, Mrs Jones, do you know the defence attorney? She again replied," Why, yes, I do". I've known Mr Bradley since he was a younster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't built a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state; not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. In fact, one of them was your wife. Yes, I do know him.

 

The defence attorney almost died.

 

Then, the judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a quiet voice, said, " If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I'll throw your sorry asses in jail for contempt.

[aussiechic 209]

I pay that one.

[mbiggs 1]

good one