Being British

[pattaya_mad 208]

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a

Belgian beer, and then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a

Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch

American shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign.

Oh and......

Only in Britain ... can a pizza get to your house faster than an

ambulance.

Only in Britain ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to

the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people

can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and

a DIET coke.

Only in Britain ... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to

the counters.

Only in Britain ... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the

drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain ... do we use answering machines to screen calls and

then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't

want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain ... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating

rink.

NOT TO MENTION...

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

 

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

 

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of

screwdrivers.

 

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the

fairy lights were plugged in.

 

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas

decorations were chocolate.

 

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling

accidents.

 

101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out

of the soles of their feet.

 

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit

cigarette in their mouth.

 

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after

opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

 

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control

Scalextric cars.

 

And finally.........

In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the

toilet.

I am proud to be British

[soi unwise 6]

And your post confirms what the rest of the world knows...........

We are so self-deprecating that it is hard not to admire us.

British and proud here.............despite the faults.

[iizizu 0]

change Britsh to American and you almost mirrior that to a t

Proud to be part ofthe world as a whole

[midlifecrisis 4,030]

change Britsh to American and you almost mirrior that to a t

Proud to be part ofthe world as a whole

Just remember that America was founded by people too sexually uptight even for the British!

 

But we're learning.

 

[Eneukman 1]

Quote -

 

"58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of

screwdrivers."

 

I am embarassed to admit to being one of those 58 a few years back - whilst trying to unblock a window that couldn't open due to a build up of paint.

 

I can also sympathise with the 8 poor sods who cracked their skulls whilst puking.

 

Alan

Edited July 9, 2006 by Eneukman

[Braveheart 0]

It's nice to see that we Canucks are not alone in this world after all. Not only does the pizza get delivered before the ambulance arrives, I also have time to eat it.