Russian email

[LordFlash 52]

This is an email I received today from some phishing server:

 

Hello!

I am Nataly. To talk about my personal qualities I`l try to look at

myself from aside. So I`m a feminine, charming, romantic and sweet

girl. Yet as a person I am open-minded, easy-going, kind-hearted. From

the very beginning I try to behave naturally. I dislike lie and

hypocrisy. Kindness and decency are the qualities that are very

important for me and that`s why I value them in myself. I love my

parents very much as they have given much to me and I am grateful to

them.

I have some questions for you if you want to get to know me closer:

1/ Are you interested in serious relations with Russian woman?

2/ Are you planning to visit Russia?

3/ Would you like to correspond or to talk by phone?

4/ Why are you interested in Russian lady?

5/ Have you ever been to Russia?

6/ What is important for you in relations and am I right for you?

I will be waiting for your reply to

admin@bridegroom4usite.info

Hope you will tell me about yourself,

kisses from Russia,

Nataly

 

 

And this was my reply ( I don't care about them having the address as I'm leaving the company soon!):

 

Natalay,

 

Can it really be true? Is there a beautiful Russian lady just waiting for me?

I'm so excited I feel I might burst and make a mess all over my keyboard!

 

You sound so wonderful. Perfect even. Is there any chance that you look like the ladies I look at on those fabulous adult websites, or even better, my fantasy female Anna Cornercovia? If you do then I will agree to marry you tomorrow.

 

To answer your questions:

 

1/ I would love to have serious relations with any woman but Russian will do.

 

2/ I was planning to visit my brother, who is in jail for drug smuggling in Bangkok, so I could stop off on the way.

 

3/ It is easier for me to write rather than talk because I have a very bad speech impediment that would mean it would take a long time to have a conversation and I can't afford the phone bill as I have been out of work for the last 15 years due to an industrial accident that led to the removal of my legs just above the knees and my left testicle.

 

4/ Russian, Chinese, Welsh - It doesn't matter as long as they can see past the 300 pounds of blubber, the fact that I am hung like a squirrel and have the dress sense of a tramp who drinks 20 cans of special brew a day. I want a lady who can see the real me. Sometimes, when I go out, which is not very often, women will look at me in the street and point. Sometimes they are physically sick. This is probably because of my highly contagious skin disease, numerous facial warts and a rare condition that means I have body odour that makes a frenchman smell of roses. I have tried to speak to people but my severe halitosis seems to put them off any further conversation.

 

5/ I visited once back in 1981 but had to leave quickly as the KGB had tracked me down and were trying to execute me. I'm sure that won't create a problem for me returning though as I have a new identity.

 

6/ The most important thing in a relationship for me is having a women take my virginity. Of course you are right for me - you are female. Although, to be honest, I will consider anything that has a pulse. Actually, a pulse isn't really that important either.

 

I hope my few minor problems will not stop you from writing back to me. I have had so many disappointments in my life that I have become mentally unstable and I'm not sure how I would deal with the rejection.

 

Please, please, please reply to me as soon as you can. I will sit amongst my magazines, used kleenex and empty take away boxes that surround my PC until you write again, my dearest Nataly. I promise not to become a stalker like the last time a girl said hello to me. I think the restraining order was fair, considering my actions.

 

Gropes and ulcerous tonguing snogs from my bedsit in Slough.

 

All my love and stickyness.

Bob (But you can call me Freak - that’s what all the neighbourhood kids call me as they throw bricks through my window.)

 

 

Cheered up my day a bit.

 

[Braveheart 0]

It wasn't necessary for you to be completely honest with her.

[LordFlash 52]

It wasn't necessary for you to be completely honest with her.

 

Its funny - In Pattaya I would still be a Hansum Man!!!

 

[Braveheart 0]

At least until you run out of baht!

[kiwimongo 0]

l am russian woman but becarefull russia is very danger

[dogblower 3]

I see this thread was started October 27. Dying to know if there has been a reply. No-one from your old company been in contact regarding strange Russian emails LordFlash?