THE POWER OF BEER

[pattayamad 0]

THE POWER OF BEER

>>>

>>> A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in

>>>and informs

>>> the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son

>>>is just a

>>> head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can,

>>>with love

>>> and compassion.

>>>

>>> After 18 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad

>>>takes him

>>> to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders

>>>up the

>>> biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons

>>>looking on

>>> curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy

>>>takes his

>>> first sip of alcohol.

>>>

>>> Swoooosh! Plop!! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then

>>>bursts into

>>> whoops of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again.

>>>

>>> The patrons chant "Take another drink!"

>>>

>>> The bartender continues to shake his head in dismay. Swoooosh!

>>>Plip! Plop!!

>>> Two arms pop out.

>>>

>>> The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to

>>>drink

>>> again.

>>> The patrons chant, "Take another drink! Take another drink!!"

>>> The bartender ignores the whole affair and goes back to polishing

>>>glasses,

>>> shaking his head" clearly unimpressed by the amazing scenes.

>>>

>>> By now the boy is getting tipsy, but with his new hands he reaches

>>>down,

>>> grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Plop! Plip!! Two legs

>>>pop out.

>>>

>>> The bar is in chaos.

>>> The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy

>>>stands up on

>>> his new legs and stumbles to the left then staggers to the right

>>>through the

>>> front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills

>>>him

>>> instantly.

>>> The bar falls silent.

>>>

>>> The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says,

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> (Wait for it)

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> (It's coming)

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> (Ya ready?)

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> (Don't hate me)

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> (Ya gonna hate me)

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> "He should've quit while he was a head!"

[Braveheart 0]

Groan.....

[MIGHTYONE 309]

That is dreadful!

[pat-uk 0]

Are we going to rename this thread ' worst jokes on the forum' ? if we are here's another one..

 

 

 

 

 

>>> > Subject: Technical Support!!!

>>> >

>>> >

>>> > Dear Tech Support:

>>> >

>>> > Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed

>>>>>that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a

>>>>>lot of space and valuable resources.

>>> >

>>> > In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now

>>>>>monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night

>>>>>10.3 , Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Racing 3.6.

>>> >

>>> > I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to

>>>>run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to

>>>>Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 . Please

>>>>help!

>>> >

>>> > Thanks,

>>> > Troubled User.....

>>> >

>>> > _____________________________________

>>> > REPLY:

>>> > Dear Troubled User:

>>> >

>>> > This is a very common problem that men complain about.

>>> >

>>> > Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it

>>>is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING

>>>SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !!! It is also

>>>impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to < SPAN

>>>style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(0,0,161)">Girlfriend 7.0 . It is

>>>impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once

>>>installed.

>>> >

>>> > You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to

>>>not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under

>>>Warnings-Alimony/Child Support . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and

>>>work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background

>>>application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

>>> >

>>> > The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE!

>>>because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before

>>>the system will return to normal anyway.

>>> >

>>> > Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance

>>>. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep

>>>3.0 , Cook It 1.5 ! and Do Bills 4.2 .

>>> >

>>> > However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will

>>>cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens,

>>>the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase

>>>additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

>>> > WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With

>>>Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will

>>>cause irreversible damage to the operating system!

>>> >

>>> > Best of luck,

>>> >

>>> > Tech Support

>>> >

>>> > ---------------------------------

>>> >

>>> >

>>>

[HAMLEKLEK 4]

I still think the head joke was worse !!

[Braveheart 0]

Yeah, the head one was definitely worse. It forced me to let out an involuntary groan. I actually chuckeled over Wife 1.0.