Missing wife joke

[Mescalito 19]

The day after his wife disappeared in an off-shore kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.

 

"We're sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife," said one trooper.

 

"Tell me! Did you find her?" Wilkens shouted.

 

The troopers looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"

 

Fearing the worst, an ashen Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first."

 

The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in Kachemak Bay."

 

"Oh my God!" exclaimed Wilkens. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?"

 

The trooper continued. "When we pulled her up she had 12 twenty-five pound king crabs and 6 good-size Dungeness crabs on her."

 

Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news?"

 

The trooper said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow!"

[nohlsson1 19]

I will see you in hell! I might just beat you there.

[bridge 0]

Along the same lines.. A man gets a call from the hospital saying his wife has been in an accident and brought to the hospital. Upon arriving, the doctor sits him down and says, "Your wife was in a terrible accident. She will never be able to walk again. You will have to take her everywhere she goes. She will never be able to feed herself, you will have to do that. She will never be able to clean herself, you will need to do that. The accident will not effect how long she lives, however. She will probably outlive us both."

 

 

The man is shattered. All he can do is utter, "This is terrible." To which the doctor replies, " Wouldn't it be ! I am just fucking with you. She's dead."