Here are some jokes my ex wrote

[eltib 54]

Paul walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, "Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight, Dumb, dumber and dumbest. I've never had the same three girls atonce,and I need something to keep me horny.. keep me potent." The pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer

and takes out a small cardboard box marked with a label "Viagra Extra Strength" and says, "Here, if you eat this, you'll go nuts for twelve hours." Paul says, "Gimme three boxes." The next day Paul walks into the same pharmacy goes up to the pharmacist and pulls down his pants.The pharmacist looks in horror

as he notices the Paul's penis is black and blue, and the skin is hanging off in some places. Paul says, "Gimme a bottle of Ben Gay." The pharmacist replies,"You're not going to put Ben Gay on that are

you?" Paul says, "No, it's for my arms, the Dora's didn't show up."

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Paul was delighted to finally be asked home to meet the parents of E.T.'s (aka Horsemouth), Or shall we say Deplorable, the young woman he'd been seeing for three months. He was quite nervous about the meeting though, and by the time he arrived punctually at the doorstep he was in a state of gastric distress.

 

The problem developed into one of acute flatulence, and halfway through the dinner Paul realized he couldn't hold it in one-second longer without exploding. A tiny fart escaped.

 

"Spot!" called out the young woman's mother to the family dog, lying at Pauls feet.

Relieved at the dog's having been blamed, Paul let another, slightly larger one go.

 

"Spot!" she called out sharply.

 

'I've got it made,' thought Paul to himself. 'One more and I'll feel fine'. So he let loose a really big one.

 

"Spot!!!" shrieked the mother. "Get over here before

Paul craps on you!"

Edited June 26, 2007 by eltib

[Mescalito 19]

Here's one my ex-wife told me back when we were married. An apocryphal joke, if you will . . . . . .

 

 

Q: What do Eggs Benedict and a blow job have in common?

 

A: You can't get either one at home.