MONKEYWATCH - November 2008

[monkeyman 1,604]

Greetings Monkeywatchers, and welcome to Loy Krathong as we all have fun floating our scrotes.

 

Well, Pattaya’s still pretty quiet at the moment, apparently because the fear of being blown to buggery in the unrest around Bangkok has resulted in 80 per cent of Asian tourists deciding to stay away. This is believed to have caused Pattaya’s income from tourism to drop by a catastrophic two per cent.

 

Things haven’t been helped by the fact that it’s been pissing down for the last fortnight, so if you’re planning a visit in the near future, make sure you get an umbrella. You can buy them for 100 baht from street vendors or from the Nohab Convenience Store, on a stand between the Kevlar condoms and the Rebecca Adlington comedy noses.

 

Well thanks, but I think we’ll just stick with the barfine for now…

 

 

There was a Russian bloke in Secrets the other night, a real ‘Mr Cool’, biceps, sunglasses on the top of his head, you know the sort. Walked in and got quite a reaction from the girls, then spent the next half hour chatting up the barman. Well, as they say in England, there’s nowt so queer as folk. Especially Russian folk, it would seem.

 

Better still, there was a bloke spotted in Misty’s toilets last week having what one might politely describe as a solo short time in the Sherman Suite. Well the poor sod did have his girlfriend with him, so that was probably his lot for the night. They never learn, do they?

 

The recent downturn in tourist income has left Pattaya unable to keep up the instalments on its new Beach Road trees, which have now sadly been repossessed…

 

 

On the entertainment scene, the old Shooters Bar on Soi Diamond has closed and is shortly to reopen as Club Mirage, and several hamsters are now out of work following the closure of Top Girls on Soi 14. It’s been replaced by Illusions, a rather strange place which doesn’t seem to know whether it’s a Go Go or a nightclub. Or a complete waste of space.

 

Nothing much to report on the music scene, other than Insomnia moving from Soi Marine Plaza to Walking Street, though it has been noted on a few Pattaya boards that the well-known children’s entertainer Gary Glitter is to receive £100,000 in royalties for the use of one of his songs in an advertisement. However, it isn’t true that he’s to record a new version of an on old Kate Bush hit entitled ‘The Man With The Child In His Flies’.

 

Pattaya once again displays its pioneering spirit as it launches the world’s first motorised bamboo…

 

 

As some of you lechers may be aware, the Miss Teen Thailand Competition, which visited Pattaya a couple of weeks ago, has now concluded. The prize for this year’s lucky winner is reputed to be a professional makeover of peroxide, chewing gum and tattoos, together with a complimentary chrome pole to allow her to train for her new profession.

 

Finally, a fake police officer was arrested at Bali Hai Port last week after being found drunk by police patrolling the area. A spokesman later submitted this as positive evidence that the police were determined to crack down on counterfeit goods in Pattaya.

 

be seeing you

monkeyman

Edited November 12, 2008 by monkeyman

[rightsaid 44]

Good post a couple of points.

 

B4 bar is situated above the 711 it is not the old Shooters.

 

The old Shooters when it opens will be called Club Mirage.

[monkeyman 1,604]

Good post a couple of points.

 

B4 bar is situated above the 711 it is not the old Shooters.

 

The old Shooters when it opens will be called Club Mirage.

Apologies for the gaffe. Now corrected.

[rightsaid 44]

Apologies for the gaffe. Now corrected.

 

No worries mate, just glad I could help.