2008 Darwins!

[JohnnyK 28]

You've been waiting for them with baited breath, so without further

ado, here are the 2008 Darwin awards.

 

8th Place

In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of

water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to

retrieve his car keys.

 

7th Place

A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who 'totally zoned when he

ran,' accidentally, jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

 

6th Place

While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection

from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom, when

it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach

used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach

him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to

free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

 

5th Place

Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a

bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long

flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed

into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

 

4th Place

Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends

who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his

mouth and pull the trigger.

 

3rd Place

After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front

door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the

store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was

standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber

announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol.

The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers

also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the

scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended

cartridge cases in the shop.

The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics

identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.

 

Honorable Mention

Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at

2:00 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the

window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice the

window was closed.

 

Runner-Up

Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them

said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in

the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least

10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival

at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a

bungee rope's; Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and

pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable, lay near by. They secured

one end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the bridge. His

fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at

the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by

two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.

 

 

AND THE WINNER IS....

 

Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of

animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes

before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say

ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an

olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of

the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr Riesfeldt to the ground

where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to

evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of

those freak accidents that proves... 'Shit happens'.

 

 

THE LEAST WE CAN DO IS TO COMMEMORATE THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING

THEMSELVES FROM THE HUMAN GENE POOL...

[gimmble 144]

 

 

very funny...............

 

well done.................

 

 

 

 

[Skygod 40]

The Runner Up is not valid though as his genes are retained in the human gene pool and the loss of a foot is not sufficient to stop procreation, unless his 'foot' was in fact 12 inches of 'manhood'.

 

NOBODY could be that stupid though......(could they?)

[dogblower 3]

[mykl 72]

47 rounds expended and only 23 hits. That's pitiful. There should have been a hole the size of a watermelon in the middle of his chest and no way to count the individual bullet holes.

[pcdodger 2]

It is a strange old world, as this post proves