MONKEYWATCH - February 2009

[monkeyman 1,604]

Greetings Monkeywatchers, and welcome as we eat our bowls of Credit Crunchies and take a look at how Fun City is carrying on during this recession thingy.

 

The month’s big news event in Pattaya was the opening of the magnificent new Central Festival shopping mall on Beach Road. People have been flocking from all over to witness this spectacular sight, one bar girl even describing it as the most impressive erection she’d ever witnessed - high praise indeed. Mind you, it’s not quite finished yet as they’ve still to attach the trunk and paint it white.

 

A brand spanking new set of traffic lights has been installed on the Sukumvit Road in Central Pattaya in an attempt to improve the flow of traffic in the area. Large numbers of people are expected to benefit from this imaginative scheme, mainly scrap dealers and undertakers.

 

Here we see a gentleman exhibiting that famous traditional Thai artefact, the “Tlay Of Clap”…

 

 

Following a police reconstruction of a 5 million baht ATM robbery in Jomtien, local officers are now frantically trying to recover the total of 10 million baht which is now missing.

 

The other Monday, police were called to an Exchange Booth on Second Road after staff reported that a Pakistani man had attempted to exchange counterfeit UK bank notes. The man was arrested but later released without charge when he pointed out that on current exchange rates the fake notes were actually worth more than real ones.

 

One of the many sights that must not be missed when visiting Pattaya is “The Tomb Of The Unknown Sunbather”…

 

 

There’s been a bit of activity on the bar scene as usual. Kitten Club on Pattayaland 2 is currently closed, Absolut Club on Soho Square has also shut its doors and Spicy Girls A Go Go has finally called it a day after 10 years. It’s not all bad news though. First A Go Go has opened on Soi 8 and the appalling Republika Disco on Walking Street has been closed down by the Boys In Brown because of the noise. Well it sure as hell wasn’t music.

 

The week before last saw the staging of the Pattaya Chinese New Year Festival at Bali Hai Port. A variety of festivities were on offer, including a Miss Chinese Girl Beauty Contest, which caused some confusion amongst the local population as the contestants were actually girls.

 

Pattaya authorities have once again shown their determination to stamp out thefts on Beach Road with the installation of this new ultra high tech surveillance camera…oh shit…

 

 

A couple of weekends ago, a Korean tourist was arrested for using a fake credit card at an opticians in South Pattaya. The man was found to be carrying a total of 14 fake cards, but as the optician told police that he had double vision, they charged him with possession of 28 of the buggers.

 

In an attempt to promote better health among the womenfolk of Pattaya, they are to be offered free screening for cervical cancer, though opposition politicians have dismissed it as a government smear campaign.

 

Finally, if you still don’t know how much you should pay for a baht bus, the answer is 10 baht, or 20 baht if it’s low mileage and comes with a warranty.

 

be seeing you

monkeyman

[ajsp9 18]

A good, funny read.

Thanks.

[cannonball83204 78]

Thanks Monkeyman, I needed to laugh after the day I have had. Keep up the good work!!!!!

 

 

 

[Rick1079 0]

Heh heh nice outlook on the edge Monkeyman.

[nohlsson1 19]

You still have me rolling on the floor. Thanks for the post.