Beer goggles

[Bazle 1,514]

I Will Survive

 

~To the tune of Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive"~

 

At first I was afraid, I was petrified.

By the ugly fucker lying by my side.

I would've drunk a little less, I would've tried to keep my head,

If I'd known for just one second I'd be in your crusty bed ...

 

I tried to go, walk out the door.

But I laughed so hard at your small knob that I've fallen on the floor.

Your butt's a pimply mess, it's just a broken-out disgrace,

But I'd rather look at that, than at your fuckin' ugly face ...

 

I want to go, I've got to leave.

Your talk of chicks and football really makes me want to heave.

I only know I've got to stop my drinking spirits and the beer

Cuz when I looked at you last night, you looked just like Richard Gere!

 

I can't believe that we both shagged.

You should be wearing concrete shoes, or simply bound and gagged.

I'm fucking off right now, I'm jumping on the flippin' train

and I'm not stopping till I'm home and washed your greeblies down the drain.

 

Please let me go, I feel quite sick,

We had the worst sex in the world and you're an ugly little prick.

I should have fucked your gorgeous roommate, at least he's got a nice tight ass

But no, I go and trust the booze and now I'm stuck with you, and you have no class.

 

It's time to go, run out the door.

You look so ugly it should really be against the law.

I'm going to give up all the booze, I'm going to have no stupid fun,

Cuz waking up beside your mug, just makes me want to be a nun!

[cariden 1]

unfortunately as the day passes slowly,

i remain in by the bed,

waiting waiting as you wake i remember your name is fred,

getting paid i still feel oh so lowly..

[BigusDicus 9,902]

Very good!

[Rick1079 0]

Excellent rendition.