Monkeywatch - June 2009

[monkeyman 1,604]

Greetings Monkeywatchers, and welcome to this month’s poke at Pattaya’s peccadilloes. Let us begin.

 

The other Friday, an event strangely titled “5 Region Thai Travel Fest @ Season of the East” was opened on Pattaya Beach. It was apparently some kind of celebration of Thai culture, which would explain why local businesses had stocked up with chrome poles and bananas.

 

A couple of weekends ago, the Pattaya police conducted an undercover operation which resulted in the arrest of three people and the seizure of a quantity of Class 1 drugs. This was rumoured to have caused great upset to Class 1 who had pooled their pocket money to buy the stuff from a bloke at the school gates.

 

The Tourist Board’s attempts to give Pattaya a more upmarket image seems to be paying off with the arrival of yet another coach load of quality tourists…

 

 

It was poofs on parade time again in Pattaya on May 15 when the grand final of the 2009 Miss Tiffany Universe Competition took place at the Tiffany Show Theatre (where else). Still, no worse than British television, which hosted a national talent competition at about the same time and the best they could come up with for a winner was a bunch of bloody dwarf hurlers.

 

At the beginning of the month, Tourist Police swooped on South Pattaya and rounded up a number of Uzbekistani ladies of the night and took them to the police station for further questioning. Can’t believe it’s a year since the Chief’s last birthday party. Doesn’t time fly?

 

Here we see the view which inspired the 70s hit record “Thai A Yellow Ribbon Round The Old Soaked Tree”…

 

 

The month of May saw the start of new school year in Pattaya, with all the tears and tantrums that it brings from the children. And from us after one of the little bastards stuffed jelly into our letterbox.

 

Yet another dick biting story to report, this time involving a Belgian chappie who allegedly upset his Thai girlfriend by shagging a few dozen other ladies on the side, so she decided to dismember his member by biting it off. The statements they made to the police didn’t quite match, as he claimed she bit off an inch off his organ but she denied she’d bit it in half. The case continues.

 

There’s been a spot of bar reshuffling as normal. Coyotee’s on Soi Marine Plaza and Mandarin Club on Soi 6 have reopened, and Club Sin City is the latest Go Go to try its luck in the Covent Garden Complex on Soi 16. Unfortunately, the sin element seems to be confined to the price of the drinks.

 

The current world recession has unfortunately resulted in plans for Pattaya’s new International Conference Centre having to be scaled down a bit…

 

 

A Brit was arrested by police the other Tuesday after being caught stealing a bag of grapes from Tops Supermarket so he could tread them to make his own wine. He offered police a sample from his last attempt but they weren’t impressed and suggested he took his socks off next time.

 

Finally, there was a crowd of people in Bangkok last week waving placards proclaiming ‘Free Aung San Suu Kyi’. Don’t know what it is, but if it’s free you can put us down for half a dozen.

 

be seeing you

monkeyman

[Samsonite 181]

Outstanding!

You out did yourself this month.

Thanks.

Edited June 9, 2009 by Scalawag