Parrish Magazine Howlers

[sinbinjack 244]

* The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals

 

* The sermon this morning: "Jesus walks on the Water"

The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus"

 

* Ladies, don't forget the jumble sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

 

* Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

 

* The soloist sang "I will not pass this way again", giving obvious pleasure to the congregation

 

* For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

 

* Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

 

* John Smith & Carol Jones were married on October 24th in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their shool days.

 

* At the evening service tonight the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

 

* Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

 

* The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

 

* The "Low Self Esteem Support Group" wiill meet on Thursday at 7pm. Please use the back door.

 

* The sixth formers will be presenting Shakespeare's 'Hamlet' in the Church crypt on Friday at 7pm. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

 

* "Weight Watchers" will meet at 7pm in the church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

 

And finally:-

 

* The curate unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: " I upped my Pledge - Up yours"