Use a Pun, go to jail

[BigusDicus 9,835]

CREATIVE PUNS FOR "EDUCATED MINDS"

 

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir

Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

 

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it

turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

 

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

 

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class

because it was a weapon of math disruption.

 

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little

behind in his work.

 

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be

stationary.

 

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for

littering.

 

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in

Linoleum Blownapart.

 

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

 

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

 

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police

are looking into it.

 

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

 

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway one hat

said to the other, 'You stay here; I'll go on a head..'

 

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit

me.

 

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off

the Grass.'

 

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a

hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse

said, 'No change yet.'

 

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

 

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small

medium at large.

 

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a

seasoned veteran.

 

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

 

22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's

your count that votes.

 

23 . Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects

[Lantern 193]

Some real good un's there.

thanks