Glitterman Speaks About [P] Glitterman Is INSANE. [WARNING; Do not read this if you are faint hearted, as it contains scenes of extreme gore]

[glitterman 0]

Thank you for choosing this 'Glitterman' product. while every care has been taken for detail. The ingredients of this 'Halloween treat' may leave you with a nasty after taste.

 

The Almighty and Powerful Wizard is back yet again, and gives you;

 

PARABLE FROM THE BOOK OF REVELATIONS OF THE CHEESE FROM THE MOON, 666.

 

 

................And so, slowly cycling along Pattaya's Beach Road on Halloween day, the Golden Ones face did happen to start twitching uncontrollably. Just then he happened to see a man come running towards him saying,

 

"Hello O Great Golden Glitterman," Said the man, "I think its really great what you are doing, you are adding colour to Pattaya, and putting a smile on the peoples faces. Well done, keep it up, and a happy Halloween to you sir."

 

The Golden One got off his beautiful golden bicycle, looked at the man and said,

 

"Smile please, its later than you think."

 

Then the Golden One took out a large coconut knife from under his Golden coat and with a quick swipe lopped the top of the mans head off. Blood poured all over the mans face as he fell to the floor. Then the Golden One reached into the dead mans skull and pulled out his still warm brains, then holding them high up in one hand said,

 

"Now this man had brains, you shall all follow his good example."

 

Then the Golden One sliced open the stomach of the dead man and removed eight foot of intestine. Holding the ends of the intestine in each hand, the Golden One danced merrily about singing "Happy Halloween."

A beautiful Thai lady, carrying two bags of shopping in her hands approached. Dropping her bags she screamed and ran towards the dead man. Kneeling on the floor beside him, holding his lifeless hand in hers, she cried and sobbed and said,

 

"My dear, my love , my husband. You were the only one I ever loved in my life. Whyyyyyy, whyyyyyyy you never hurt anybody, why somebody do this. What will our children do know? My heart is broken, I want to die....Boo hoo....Blub blub!"

 

"And so you shall," laughed the Golden one, "Smile please, its later than you think."

 

'CHOP!'

 

The Golden Ones coconut knife swooped down on top of the beautiful ladies head, splitting her skull in two. The lady fell across her dead husband forming a crucifix shape. her body still twitching violently. Then the Golden One reached into her skull and pulled out half of her split brain, held it up high and said,

 

"See, small brains, well we all knew that did we not?"

 

Then the Golden One kicked over the ladies dead body until it faced upwards, and with his coconut knife sliced open the ladies chest. Then reaching into her chest the Golden One removed her still warm heart. Holding her heart in one hand held high, the Golden One sang the popular Thai song; 'Do da dum'. The Golden One then sat inside the chest cavity of the dead lady and pretended to be rowing a boat, while at the same time singing,

 

"Michael jackson rows the boat ashore halleeeyyuuuuyaaaaa."

 

Then tugging out various organs from the dead lady he tossed them to the horrified crowd saying,

 

"Here you are, happy Halloween, you could be next."

 

Then chopping off the ladies hand and placing it on top of his beautiful hat, the Golden One looked into his face mirror, kissed his face mirror, and said,

 

"I would like you all to give me a big hand round of applause...Ha ha ha."

 

Then the Golden One stuffed cheese from the Moon into the empty skulls of the dead lady and man. After, The Golden One stood up and proceeded to dance merrilly through the streets of Pattaya city.

Men, women and children fell victim to the Golden Ones wonderful killing spree.

 

"Ha ha ha, I am enjoying this." Laughed the Golden One. "I dont know why I did not do this before, great fun.....Ha ha ha."

 

Suddenly a large group of men jumped onto the Golden One, pushing him to the floor. When on the floor the men held down the Golden Ones hands and feet, and placed a door on top of his chest. On to this door the men placed large rocks, 'pressing' the Golden One.

Laughing uncontrollably the Golden One breathed in quickly, and all the rocks sprang off the door, high into the air and came down upon the heads of the men and other bystanders, crushing their spines and splitting open their skulls.

 

"Ha ha ha." Laughed the Golden One as he got to his feet, and then he cut all their heads off, and kicked them into the sea like footballs.

 

The Golden One then got on to his beautiful bicycle and cycled slowly through the scarred crowds outside Central Plaza on second road shouting,

 

"Repent, repent for I am the glitter of golden light. Follow me and I shall light and shine for you the way to righteousness. For I am the Almighty and Powerful wizard, and by royal decree I hereby demand all peasants to bow and curtsy as I pass them on my royal chariot, the Royal Glitterman hath Spoken....ha ha ha ha."

 

Suddenly a policeman appeared, aimed his gun at the Golden One and fired,

 

'BANG!.....BANG!.....BANG!'

 

The Golden One quickly opened his eyes, and standing in front of him was a ferang lady with a camera, knocking on the bench he was sitting on.

 

"Sorry to wake you up, picture please." said the smiling lady.

 

The Golden One looked at the empty bottle of Whisky in his right hand and said,

 

"Yes certainly, that strong Whisky had knocked me out for a while."

 

The Golden One threw away his empty bottle of Whisky, and attempted to stand up. But as he did, a large blood stained coconut knife fell out of the Golden One's Golden coat onto the floor. The Golden One picked up the coconut knife, looked at the ferang lady, and giving that beautiful Golden man smile said,

 

"Smile please, its later than you think."

 

AMEN.

 

 

 

MORAL OF THE PARABLE IS; Never take anyone on face value, you never can tell. 'Then as now tis simple truth, sweetest tongue has sharpest tooth.'

 

COMING SOONER OR LATER; [the postponed] 'Glitterman makes a dummy out of himself and falls in love.'

 

The Royal Glitterman hath spoken.....Ha ha ha.

 

 

[please note; This Parable is not meant to be taken seriously in any way what so ever. It is ONLY meant to be a slice of harmless HALLOWEEN FANTASY FUN]

.

[henryski 6]

[lovedog100 1,372]

This afternoon I felt a big dump coming on. I drove home because I don't like using public toilets in Pattaya. Soon as I sat down, I cut lose with a massive fart. It made me wonder, sometimes I think I have to shit, and it's only a fart. Other times I think it's a fart, and a bit of shit comes out sending me to the toilet for a good wipe. If I had to chose between the two, I'd rather drive home, just to fart.

[dontcha 53]

In the past I considered Glitterman to be a harmless attention seeking eccentric that likes to windup Pattaya lovers but I find his latest post quite disturbing and I reckon that he should should seek psychiatric help before someone gets harmed.

[danboy 151]

What planet is this cunt from!!!!

[baht_miser 9]

I have never taken Glitterman seriously. He writes this stuff to amuse himself and get a reaction out of others.

[maipenrai 473]

Glitterman's next episode: those nice young men in their clean white coats come and take him away....