Nightmarch 26 November 2003

[PattayaPete 530]

Tis The Season: The crowds have come back to Fun Town with a vengeance in the past couple of weeks with most boozers, nosheries and sleeping palaces reporting a significant upswing in trade. Beer boozers from Walking Street to Naklua are looking busier, although the ones that are doing really well seem to be those who have done the hard yards in recent years and cultivated a loyal, repeat clientele.

 

On the ogling den front it is noticeable that some places are doing extraordinarily well, while others appear to be struggling to get significant numbers of punters through the door. In some cases this is for good reason; in others it seems as though the fickle finger of fate is yet to start tapping on the cash register.

 

For example, the Peppermint and Super Baby ogling dens (Walking Street and Soi Diamond respectively) are packed to the gunwales almost every night and yet some of their competitors, just a draught beer away, are lucky if more than a half dozen seats are being warmed by paying customers.

 

Peppermint has a show of especial interest to the many lepidopterists who no doubt make Pattaya their home for the high season. The dancing maidens don fluorescent butterfly wings and very little else, flapping about the chrome poles like moths in search of a bar fine.

 

In Super Baby one of the shows tends to be of a more earthy variety, appealing more to the feminine side of the male character as up to eight chrome pole molesters discard their flimsy attire and explore each others intimate parts with their tongues, and hardly a word is spoken.

 

Well done England: The recently completed Rugby Union World Cup series proved a bonanza for a great clutch of beer boozers, sports emporiums, and nosheries around Fun Town, especially when equal favourites England made it through to the final against defending champions Australia.

 

The 22 November final saw places as varied as Shenanigans (Second Road), The Sportsman (Soi 13), Rosie O’Grady’s (Soi 7) and Stars In Your Eyes (Soi 7), to name just a few, full to the brim with supporters of both sides.

 

I watched the final in The Sportsman Pub in Soi 13, where the atmosphere was terrific. I would estimate that about 30 percent of the crowd were cheering for the home side (including yours truly) with the remainder vociferous in urging on the English. The management of the Sportsman laid on free snacks at the half-time break, a much appreciated gesture, and when that fellow Wilkinson popped over a drop goal just a few seconds from the end of extra time to give England a sensational victory, the place erupted. As one Englishman said to me, “It was a pity there had to be a loser, it was such a good game.” I agree, although on balance I think England did play the better of the two sides and deserved the win.

 

No more Mary Jane specials: Further to the closure of the Giligin’s ogling den in gender-confused Pattayaland Soi 1, it appears that the main reason was the price the owner of the building was asking to renew the three-year lease. It’s my understanding the amount being requested was far in excess of what the operators of the Giligin’s den considered reasonable, so they refused. Rumour has it that they will return in the new year in search of suitable premises in Walking Street.

 

Change in the happy hour order: The management of the Spicy Girls ogling den (Pattayaland Soi 1) have decided to change their long-running happy hour regime. All amber fluid (bottles only; the den has never had draught) is now 60 baht (except for the imported nectar) and house liver wasters are 70 baht between 7:00 and 9:00PM.

 

Many of the former Giligin’s chrome pole molesters are now ensconced in Spicy and the music continues to be better than, and different to, the majority of ogling dens.

 

Packing ‘em in at Polo: The Polo non-stop show den (Walking Street) is packing them in from the opening bell (7:00PM) although the vast majority of punters are of North Asian appearance and have been released from their air-conditioned monster tour bus and herded, lemming-like, down Walking Street and up the stairs into the relative safety of the boozer. Nevertheless, the shows are entertaining and different and well worth catching, with booze prices at 120 baht for most standard libations.

 

On Saturday 15 November, the show palace played host to 10 Bangkok fashion models who strutted their stuff on stage in a variety of glad rags and alluring apparel. The show commenced around midnight and went on for around 45 minutes. According to management, it is planned to conduct these shows once a week.

 

Cliff Richard would go red: Another of Fun Town’s show bars is Living Dolls Showcase (Walking Street), and this place is also packing out most nights with a series of somewhat lengthy cameos performed by some of Pattaya’s better looking chrome pole molesters.

One show involves the profligate use of soap suds, and at the rate this joint goes through washing powder I think it would be worth investing in shares in the company that makes this product. If stocks of washing powder happen to run low in Foodland, you’ll now know why.

 

After the soapy show it takes no less than three ‘cleaning’ ladies to soak up the residue, thus Living Dolls can boast of having the cleanest stage and shiniest chrome poles in all of Pattaya.

 

As with all show bars, that song ‘Zombie’ gets a workout: ‘It’s like 1916/in your head/in your head/zombie/zombie…’ I suppose I should be thankful I missed ‘Hotel California’.

 

Captain Picard seems to be in total control of the ship now, as it appears as though part-owner Alan Ladd may be asked by the authorities in Hong Kong to continue to help them with their inquiries regarding the strange case of a rather large amount of Indian rupees he was allegedly trying to offload in the Chinese-controlled territory.

 

You’ll Never Walk Alone: Another of Pattaya’s longest-running ogling dens, Carousel (Soi Diamond), is continuing with its the dance and show concept. The dancing maidens cavort around the revolving stage for a few nondescript tunes and then toddle off to the bleachers leaving the field free for a clutch of showgirls in various themed outfits to strut their stuff for a few more record spins.

 

Thirst quenching prices have crept up to 110 baht for most liquids involving alcohol, but with tourists swelling the ranks of locals this is the time to take advantage of the free-spending holiday makers.

 

The seating at the entrance to the joint has been remodelled and now features benches and the serving bar has been shortened, thereby giving more room to fit in more imbibers.

 

Third Time Lucky? Unbeknownst to most visitors, Pattaya has a number of ‘black holes’. These are places that just never seem to do well as business venues, no matter who operates them or what kind of shingle is hung outside the door. At present every one of these ‘black holes’ is currently up and running and most will probably survive the high season. Whether they will prosper is another matter.

 

One of these ‘black holes’ is the building about half-way down on the left hand side of Soi Marina Plaza. In the past year alone it has been known as the Feigling Pub, starting as a late night boogie barn and then metamorphosing into an ogling den with table dancers and then finally once more becoming an after-midnight hangout called, simply, X.

 

On 8 November a new late night boogie barn opened its doors on the spacious premises. Named Party Zone it is under German ownership and management, but there’s not an oompah band in sight; lederhosen might not be so scarce a commodity however.

 

The head bangers hedonistic paradise flogs off Carlsberg and Heineken at 99 baht and the action kicks off at 9:30PM every night and they have what they term an ‘ear pounding’ sound system playing hip hop (ghetto), house (rave) and 2 Step (underground). I always thought the 2 Step was akin to the Lambeth Walk and ballroom dancing: something your grandfather did with your grandmother when they were too old to bother with anything horizontal.

 

Go Fly A Kite: The Pattaya A-Go-Go Bar Calendar has been selling so fast that a reprint is already in the works and one anecdote regarding the glossy wall hanging concerns the Thai lady who purchased two at once to send to her boyfriend back in Germany. She stated, quite matter-of-factly, that she was sending them to him so he wouldn’t be tempted to stray while back in the Land of Bratwurst and Sausage and would instead confine himself to onanistic activities with the pictures in the calendars serving as visual stimulation.