Blonde Jojes

[davebowk 13]

A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 second and then hides it.

 

"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

 

The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"

 

The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his PROFILE."

 

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

 

The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

 

The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"

 

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

 

He quickly adds "...think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

 

The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "Hmmmm...the suspect wears contact lenses."

 

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer...wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."

 

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I can't believe it...it's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"

 

"That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

 

 

 

 

Norman and his blonde wife live in Detroit.

One winter morning while listening to the radio,

they heard the announcer say, "We are going to

have 3 to 4 inches of snow today. You must park

your car on the even numbered side of the street,

so the snowplow can get through."

 

Norman's wife went out and moved her car.

 

A week later while they were eating breakfast, the

radio announcer said, "We are expecting 4 to 5 inches

of snow today. You must park your car on the odd

numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get

through."

 

Norman's wife went out and moved her car again.

 

The next week they were having breakfast again when

the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12

inches of snow today. You must park ...." then the

electricity went out.

 

Norman's wife said, "Honey, I don't know what to do."

 

Norman said, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage

this time?"

[BigusDicus 9,883]

Very good. Thank you.

[joekicker 53]

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him.

 

She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator for safe keeping.

 

He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.

 

Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.

 

Shortly before landing in New York , she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans please raise your hand?"

 

Not one hand went up, so she took them home and ate them.

 

Two lessons here:

 

1. Many lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.

2. Many blondes aren't as dumb as most folks think.

[BigusDicus 9,883]

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him.

 

She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator for safe keeping.

 

He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.

 

Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.

 

Shortly before landing in New York , she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans please raise your hand?"

 

Not one hand went up, so she took them home and ate them.

 

Two lessons here:

 

1. Many lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.

2. Many blondes aren't as dumb as most folks think.

 

 

Touche'. Great joke.