Quick but to the point

[teelack 9,327]

 

 

MY WIFE HAD A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE ON SUNDAY. SILLY COW THOUGHT SHE COULD DO THE VACUUMING WHILE THE FOOTY WAS ON.

 

JUST BOUGHT THE WIFE SOME CROTCH-LESS KNICKERS FOR HALLOWEEN. NOTHING SEXUAL. JUST GIVES HER A MUCH BETTER GRIP ON HER BROOMSTICK.

 

MY MATE ALWAYS CRIES AFTER SEX. MIND YOU HE IS IN PRISON.

 

I TREATED THE WIFE TO ONE OF THOSE FISH PEDICURES THE OTHER DAY. I MUST SAY I'M VERY PLEASED WITH THE RESULTS. THOSE PIRANHAS DON'T STUFF ABOUT EH!!

 

HUMPED MY BEST MATES WIFE LAST NIGHT AND TODAY I FEEL AWFUL......... SHE MUST HAVE HAD THE FLU OR SOMETHING.

 

AT THE 2012 OLYMPICS THE 100m FINAL WILL BE LIKE ANY OTHER FRIDAY NIGHT IN LONDON. IN THE 100 METRES FINAL YOU WILL HEAR A GUN SHOT FOLLOWED BY EIGHT BLACKS LEGGING IT!

 

A COP STOPPED A PAKI IN A TRANSIT VAN ON THE MOTORWAY. COP SAYS YOU DO KNOW THE LIMIT IS 70 DONT YOU. PAKI LOOKS IN THE BACK AND SHOUTS "HEAR THAT. TWO OF YOU WILL HAVE TO GET OUT!!

 

CHEMISTS REPORTED THAT AFTER THE RIOTS AND LOOTING IN LONDON THE ONLY THING LEFT ON THE SHELVES WAS FAKE TAN.

THE BRITISH GOVERMENT HAS REACTED TO WORLDWIDE RIOTING BY SENDING RESCUE VEHICLES TO EVACUATE THE BRITISH CITIZENS. THEY SENT 3 SHIPS TO LIBYA , 2 PLANES TO SOMALIA AND A TAXI TO BIRMINGHAM