Dead dog

[jballstate 326]

The Baptist Church Dinner

A group of friends from the Cottonwood Baptist Church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize, and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal.

When it came time for Herb and Lucille to be the hosts, Lucille wanted to outdo all the others. She decided to have mushroom-smothered steak, but because the mushrooms were so expensive, she told Herb, "No mushrooms. They are too high."

He said, "Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty in the creek bed."

She said, "No, some wild mushrooms are poisonous." He said, "Well, I see varmints eating them, and they're OK."

So Lucille decided to give it a try. The next morning she picked a bunch, cleaned and sliced them for her smothered steak. Then she went out on the back porch and gave Ol' Spot (the yard dog) a double handful. Ol' Spot ate every bite.

All morning long, Lucille watched Ol' Spot, and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.

The meal that evening was a great success. Lucille had even hired a lady from town to help her serve. After everyone had finished, they relaxed, socialized, and played '42' and dominoes.

About then, the helper lady came in and whispered in Lucille's ear, "Mrs. Williams, Ol' Spot is dead."

Lucille went into hysterics. Finally, she calmed down enough to call the doctor and tell him what had happened.

The doctor said, "That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quickly as possible. We'll give everyone enemas, and we'll pump out everyone's stomach. Everything will be fine. Just keep everyone calm."

Soon they could hear the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road. The EMTs and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump.

One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomach.

After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, "I think everything will be fine now," and he left.

They were all sitting around the living room, looking pretty weak, when the helper lady came in and whispered to Lucille, "You know, that Son of a bitch that run over Ol' Spot never even stopped.'

[samfreeland 64]

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