ff29

Flying will never be the same! A jumbo jet is just coming into the Tampa Bay, Florida Airport on its final approach. The pilot comes on the intercom, "This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Tampa. I want to thank you for flying with us today and I hope you enjoy your stay in Tampa Bay". He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit. The copilot says to the pilot, "Well, skipper, watcha gonna do in Tampa?" "Well," says the skipper, "first I'm gonna check into the hotel and take a big crap.... then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the [smiley=tits.gif] huge tits [smiley=tits.gif] out for dinner. . . then I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and [smiley=bonk.gif] put it to her [smiley=bonk.gif] big time all night." Everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the aisle trying to get a look at the new stewardess. Meanwhile the new stewardess is at the very back of the plane. She's so embarrassed that she starts to run to try and get to the cockpit to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag and down she goes. The old lady leans over and says: "No need to hurry, dear. He's gotta take a shit first." And how was your flight to Bangkok, Thailand?

Flying will never be the same! A jumbo jet is just coming into the Tampa Bay, Florida Airport on its final approach. The pilot comes on the intercom, "This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Tampa. I want to thank you for flying with us today and I hope you enjoy your stay in Tampa Bay". He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit. The copilot says to the pilot, "Well, skipper, watcha gonna do in Tampa?" "Well," says the skipper, "first I'm gonna check into the hotel and take a big crap.... then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the [smiley=tits.gif] huge tits [smiley=tits.gif] out for dinner. . . then I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and [smiley=bonk.gif] put it to her [smiley=bonk.gif] big time all night." Everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the aisle trying to get a look at the new stewardess. Meanwhile the new stewardess is at the very back of the plane. She's so embarrassed that she starts to run to try and get to the cockpit to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag and down she goes. The old lady leans over and says: "No need to hurry, dear. He's gotta take a shit first." And how was your flight to Bangkok, Thailand?

Flying will never be the same! A jumbo jet is just coming into the Tampa Bay, Florida Airport on its final approach. The pilot comes on the intercom, "This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Tampa. I want to thank you for flying with us today and I hope you enjoy your stay in Tampa Bay". He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit. The copilot says to the pilot, "Well, skipper, watcha gonna do in Tampa?" "Well," says the skipper, "first I'm gonna check into the hotel and take a big crap.... then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the [smiley=tits.gif] huge tits [smiley=tits.gif] out for dinner. . . then I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and [smiley=bonk.gif] put it to her [smiley=bonk.gif] big time all night." Everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the aisle trying to get a look at the new stewardess. Meanwhile the new stewardess is at the very back of the plane. She's so embarrassed that she starts to run to try and get to the cockpit to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag and down she goes. The old lady leans over and says: "No need to hurry, dear. He's gotta take a shit first." And how was your flight to Bangkok, Thailand? Regards, [smiley=devil.gif] ff29 [smiley=1luvu.gif] [smiley=1luvu.gif] [smiley=1luvu.gif] [smiley=1luvu.gif] [smiley=1luvu.gif] [smiley=1luvu.gif] [glow=red,2,300] "I LOVE THE FLB BAR." [/glow] [smiley=tits.gif] [smiley=tits.gif] [smiley=tits.gif] [smiley=tits.gif] [smiley=tits.gif] [smiley=tits.gif] [smiley=tits.gif]

Here are a few quips of Wisdom for you to ponder. I was going through my “Jokes and Stuff” file and came across them. I thought some of you might enjoy them so I’m uploading them to the FLB board. For those of you that don’t enjoy them that’s OK too because I still enjoy them. FYI, anyone that plays golf and enjoys a good time, the 1st Annual FLB Rideher Cup last year was a blast. The food was great at the FLB and the whole trip to the links and back on the party bus was excellent. I know that Ben, from the [smiley=tits.gif] FLB [smiley=tits.gif], will be putting on an even better one this year. Consider joining the group and come and play a round or two. See all of you this year for the 2nd Annual Rideher Cup, Nov 2-3, 2003. For those of you looking for more info, go to: http://www.freelancerbar.com/rideher.html BTW, for all of you who played for Team Europe in the FLB’s Rideher Cup 2002 I just wanted to inform you that Team USA is going to kick your butts this year. I plan on being there for the 2nd annual FLB Rideher Cup and I’m bring a secret weapon. . . my [smiley=yikes.gif] WIFE!! [smiley=yikes.gif] I know! I know! I’ve heard it all before fellows, “It’s like bring sand to the desert taking your wife to Pattaya.” [smiley=hithead.gif] She did let me go twice in the last 6 months by myself. But this time, I think, the only way I’m going to get there is to bring her along and see if she likes it as much as I do. Maybe, even talk her into living there at least 6 months of the year? Winters are getting too damm cold for me in northern Minnesota. I just wanted to add that [smiley=angel.gif] Pattaya Pete [smiley=angel.gif] does a great job on this board. Keep up the good work [smiley=thumbup.gif] Pete.[smiley=thumbup.gif] I’ll be looking forward to seeing all my old and new friends again in Pattaya, and the new ones I’m sure I’ll make from around the world. Signs Of Our Times ************************** On a Septic Tank Truck sign: "We're #1 in the #2 business." ************************** Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix." ************************** At a Proctologist's door "To expedite your visit please back in." ************************** On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed." ************************** On a Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber." ************************** Pizza Shop Slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak." ************************** At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout." ************************** On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?" ************************** At a Towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows." ************************** On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts." ************************** In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." ************************** On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push." ************************** At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place." ************************** On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff." ************************** In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels." ************************** On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive." ************************** At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment." ************************** Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming." ************************** In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" ************************** At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be." ************************** In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up." ************************** In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait.." ************************** At a Propane Filling Station: "Tank heaven for little grills." ************************** And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop: “Best place in town to take a leak.” ************************** Regards, [smiley=devil.gif] ff29 [smiley=1luvu.gif] [smiley=1luvu.gif] [smiley=1luvu.gif] [smiley=1luvu.gif] [smiley=1luvu.gif] [smiley=1luvu.gif] [glow=red,2,300] "I LOVE THE FLB BAR." [/glow] [smiley=tits.gif] [smiley=tits.gif] [smiley=tits.gif] [smiley=tits.gif] [smiley=tits.gif] [smiley=tits.gif] [smiley=tits.gif]

Here are a few quips of Wisdom for you to ponder. I was going through my “Jokes and Stuff” file and came across them. I thought some of you might enjoy them so I’m uploading them to the FLB board. For those of you that don’t enjoy them that’s OK too because I still enjoy them. FYI, anyone that plays golf and enjoys a good time the 1st Annual FLB Rideher Cup last year was a blast. The food was great at the FLB and the whole trip to the links and back on the party bus was excellent. I know that Ben, from the [smiley=tits.gif] FLB, [smiley=tits.gif] will be putting on an even better one this year. Consider joining the group and come and play a round or two. See all of you this year for the 2nd Annual Rideher Cup, Nov 2-3, 2003. BTW, for all of you who played for Team Europe in the FLB’s Rideher Cup 2002 I just wanted to inform you that Team USA is going to kick you butts this year. I plan on being there for the 2nd annual FLB Rideher Cup and I’m bring a secret weapon. . . my [smiley=yikes.gif]WIFE!! [smiley=yikes.gif] I know! I know! I’ve heard it all before fellows, “It’s like bring sand to the desert taking your wife to Pattaya.” [smiley=hithead.gif] She did let me go twice in the last 6 months by myself. But this time, I think, the only way I’m going to get there is to bring her along and see if she likes it as much as I do. Maybe, even talk her into living there at least 6 months of the year? Winters are getting too damm cold for me in northern Minnesota. I just wanted to add that [smiley=angel.gif] Pattaya Pete [smiley=angel.gif] does a great job on this board. Keep up the good work [smiley=thumbup.gif] Pete [smiley=thumbup.gif]. I’ll be looking forward to seeing all my new friends in Pattaya, and new one I’m sure I’ll make from around the world. Regards, ff29 [smiley=devil.gif] Signs Of Our Times ************************** On a Septic Tank Truck sign: "We're #1 in the #2 business." ************************** Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix." ************************** At a Proctologist's door "To expedite your visit please back in." ************************** On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed." ************************** On a Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber." ************************** Pizza Shop Slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak." ************************** At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout." ************************** On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?" ************************** At a Towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows." ************************** On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts." ************************** In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." ************************** On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push." ************************** At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place." ************************** On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff." ************************** In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels." ************************** On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive." ************************** At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment." ************************** Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming." ************************** In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" ************************** At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be." ************************** In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up." ************************** In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait.." ************************** At a Propane Filling Station: "Tank heaven for little grills." ************************** And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop: “Best place in town to take a leak.” ************************** [smiley=1luvu.gif] [smiley=1luvu.gif] [smiley=1luvu.gif][smiley=1luvu.gif] [smiley=1luvu.gif] [smiley=1luvu.gif]

kjvegas, Thanks for the suggestion but I live up in the hinterland of northern MN, which is located about 200 mi (320 km) north of Minneapolis. Southwest doesn't fly into any airport closer, possibly, than Minneapolis. It leaves me with the same situation of time, distance, and cost. I don't like flying NWA and the perks suck and their planes have a lot to be desired. [smiley=thumbdown.gif] But I guess one has to make some sacrifices to get to the LOS. ;D I guess we're just lucky to even have any air service into our area. I haven't been able to find, as of yet, decent connections and fares from HIB or DHL to LAX to hook-up with EVA. I would rather get into BKK at 11:45 AM rather than 11:55 PM. However, the ride to Pattaya at 1:30 AM is a little interesting and it was a little cooler and less humid. But as I've said before I'd much rather EVA for the ocean trip than NWA. My last trip on NWA from MSP to NTR, Japan - when I went to put my headphones into the seat pouch in front of me you wouldn't believe what was in there!! There was a full airsick bag. [smiley=puke.gif] When I call the flight attendant over to tell her about her only comment was, "The last trip must have been a rough one." [smiley=Eyecrazy.gif] I thought her comment was a little mindless but she had other problems, too. She weighed about 200 pounds plus and could barely make it down the aisle with the beverage cart. I know for sure the responses would have been much different from any of the stewardess, [smiley=tits.gif] or politically correct flight attendants, on EVA. I just don't think they get it here in the USA on the airlines. We're, the people flying in their aluminum grabage cans, the one’s paying their wages. But they don't seem to care because they know the unions or ACLU will protect their jobs. Well, I guess that I getting of the topic a little here so I just close by saying . . Thank You, kjvegas, for your info. Regards, ff29 [smiley=devil.gif]

I've flown EVA twice and found it to be a really great airline company. The young girl flight attendants were very attentive and the food served was hot and very good tasting. I feel they are the best airline I've ever flown on. However, because of where I live NWA is the only airline that serves my area with decent connections. The other option I have is to drive 200 miles (320 kilometers) and then, get this, price is higher. $945 USD RT from my home and drive 3 1/2 hours and pay $1148 USD RT from Minneapolis, MN. Go figure? ??? ? To get on EVA I have to fly to either the East Coast or West Coast of USA to hook-up with them. Their Deluxe Service Upgrade is great when comes to crossing the ocean or on long flights. It's well worth the up grade charge. The only problem I have is in LAX there’s an 11 hour layover coming and going with the connections I can get from my travel agent. I think it’s because EVA works with AA and their connections just won’t match up worth a damm. Bad news as apposed to a direct flight from MSP to NTR and NRT to BKK. All said and done I would recommend EVA to anyone who wants to fly with a first class airline and wants the extra pampering of, all most first class, going Deluxe Business Class or I think they refer to it as L-Class. Below is a little flying humor if you've ever been delayed for a long time on a flight and wonder what the hold up was on your flight? Hope the picture uploads OK. It’s my 1st try?? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Sometimes there are valid reasons for flight delays.... imagine that you are a bush pilot in the African veldt. You fly in some critical medical supplies and enjoy a quick lunch at the hospital. You are eager to get to your next appointment. It's a stifling 100 degrees in the shade. You return to your plane to find that the only piece of shade around has become verrrryyy popular in your absence...................................................... You start calculating the distance to the plane Whad'ya say? Do you feel lucky today?? Regards, ff29

As long as I was mentioning underwear in my earlier post along with LAW: 26 a slight modification of Law: 23 that Duece posted, sorry for being repetitive, I came across an interesting article in the Northwest Florida Daily News that described a protruding situation something like this: A Crestview Couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car breakdown in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he got the car fixed in the parking lot. When the wife returned sometime later she saw a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis of their automobile. Although the man was in shorts, his Lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. [smiley=Eyecrazy.gif] Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her Hand Up his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead after banging it on the frame of the car from his shocking re-tucking. I’ll have to look close at “thumpers” forehead because he jut got back from Florida a month or so ago?? Maybe wear shorts this trip? And how was your day? Regards, ff29 [smiley=puke.gif] Some people are really sick!

I have a somewhat obscure rule that rarely comes into play for most but I’ll add it anyway as: LAW: 26. When a male player fails to hit his ball on his initial drive from his tee box past the women’s tee box he MUST lower his drawers and shoot in that configuration from the point at which the ball came to rest. As was evident by the above post above by “doggie” this rule is fully enforced by some of us golf purists at all levels of golf competition in USA golf. As is evident from the picture of the poor chap from across the pond, he learned about it the hard way. One of the other players, a newcomer to golf and playing for Team USA “thumper” said, “I’m sure the hell glad I made it past the woman’s tee box, I don’t have on under shorts.” Well, maybe he passed up a golden opportunity with our girl caddies? They may have washed his balls and kissed them for good luck! I’ll bet that would have given him a stiff putter. (that’s an old one) For those of you who didn’t know “doggie” played for Team USA last year because Team Europe had two more player than us. So, he wore a red shirt to even up the sides. But I think he played with a blue heart that may not have been totally pure! Just kidding “doggie.” Your really an OK guy. . .as far as “doggie’s” go. But, it does seem to me Team USA only lost by 1 point? I wonder?? This year we’re bring some real aces from America for Team USA. One has a 36 handicap, another has a 26 handicap and I have a 22 handicap. Sounds like we’ll be a real threat this year to Team Europe! I sure hope I make it past the woman’s tee box this year. Help!! Well, I can tell all who are thinking about playing this year in the Rideher Cup 2003 for what ever team it was really great fun last year. Everyone, I think, had an excellent time and lots of food, women and drink. What more could a golfer ask for? Oh, I know. . .This is for Ben at the FLB. . Let’s try to get some of the FLB hostesses to do lap dancing in the lower level of the tour bus for the long boring trip to the golf course and back? I know it was mentioned last year so I thought I’d bring it up again. The girls are so great. God willing, I hope to see all of the crew in Oct – Nov 2003. I’m planning to be there for a month. I’m bring the Mrs. this trip so maybe we’ll have a least two women along for the golf outing and the bus trip, that is if Hilly’s better half plays again this year. I guess that my trip this time will be a little bit interesting as it’s my wife’s first trip out of the USA and my first time (of three) to LOS with her coming along with me? Time will tell? Regards, ff29 [smiley=devil.gif]

I am a member and have my password. However, I'm don't seem to be able to login to the "Members Only Fourm." Anyone have a suggestion? Thank you GTM