ff29

An Scottish golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods. Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball beside him. Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving him. "Arrgh! What happened?" the Leprechaun asked. "Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square. Ye get three wishes, so whaddya want?" "Thank God, you're all right!" the golfer answers in relief. "I don't want anything. I'm just glad you're OK, and I apologize. I really didn't mean to hit you." And the golfer walks off. "What a nice guy," the Leprechaun says to himself. "But it was fair and square that he got me, and I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things I would want.... a great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life." A year goes by (as it does in stories like this) and the Scottish golfer is back. On the same hole, he again hits a bad drive into the woods and the Leprechaun is there waiting for him. "'Twas me that made ye hit the ball here," the little guy says. "I just want to ask ye, how's yer golf game?" "My game is fantastic!" the golfer answers. "In fact, that's the first bad ball I've hit in a year! I'm an internationally famous golfer now." He adds, "By the way, it's good to see you're all right." "Oh, I'm fine now, thankee. I did that fer yer golf game, you know. And tell me, how's yer money situation?" "Why, it's just wonderful!" the golfer states. "I win fortunes in golf. If I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out $100 bills I didn't even know were there!" "I did that fer ye also. And tell me, how's yer sex life?" The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment, and says shyly, "It's OK." "C'mon, c'mon now," urged the Leprechaun, "I'm wanting to know if I did a good job. How many times a day?" Blushing even more, the golfer looks around then whispers, "Once sometimes twice a week." "What??" responds the Leprechaun in shock. "That's all? Only once or twice a week?" "Well," says the golfer, "I figure that's not bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish." Just 86 Days 10 Hours 45 Minutes and 9 Seconds The Wheels-Up and Off To LOS Thailand. . . But Who's Counting? Regards, ff29 and The Cash Cow

Doggie, Rick (Thumper^) asked me to relay to you his shirt size: Large - 2XX. Everyone enjoy yourselves and of course Team USA will triumph again. . . but don't let that stop you from having a good time if you're with Team Europe. Regards, ff29 and The Cash Cow PS Hope to see you all at next years 2006 Rideher Cup as we will not be able to get to LOS until 24th of November this year.

Hi Everyone, This year The Ca$h Cow and I will not be able to play in the RideHer Cup. She is needed at her job and can not get the time off that early in November. We will be in Pattaya again this year but will not make it until the end of November. However, the good news is that we will be staying until Feburary of 2006. My wife talked her boss and the company into letting her take her vacations back to back at the end of this year and the beginning of next year. At least we will be able to see a little more of LOS, Thailand on this trip. I know that Team USA will prevail this year so do not plan on Team Europe to run off with it as they may be thinking. We do have some great players coming in from the USA and other sources to insure the winning of The Little Man and His Bitch. . . RideHer Cup Trophy. Hope everyone has a great time and wish we could be there for the MAJOR event of the year. Maybe next year we will make it? Just 196 Days 10 Hours 25 Minuter 11 Seconds Then Wheels-Up and Off To LOS, Thailand. . . But Who's Counting? Regards, ff29 and The Ca$h Cow

Sorry to hear about the tragic news as are all who knew her. I remember her while sitting at the bar having my coffee or a coke and can say she'll be missed by all who met her and knew her. My wife's and my thoughts and prayers will be there in spirit for her funeral service as we will not be there in person until late November this year. Regards, ff29 and The Cash Cow

Mister C and Others Interested, I've been to Thailand on 4 occasions and my wife and I enjoy golfing greatly. Thailand has a number of great golf course and caddies that treat you well. If you are looking a stamp of approval I can speak from experience that doghaus is your man. My recommendation if you're looking for someone you can trust, is a great organizer of golfing events, and will give you, so to speak, a good bang for your buck, then doghaus and Solor Travel would be a good choice. I am confident you and your friends can trust the new travel company, Solor Golf & Travel, he is involved with to preform as promised and at a fair cost. Only one thing I might warn you about, on occasion, poor old doghaus does not always get his ball past the ladies tee box, thus being required to drop his drawers, as a penalty, and then hit his ball. It may happen more than once per round, depending on his previous evenings activities? This rule was introduced to doghaus by myself and thumper^ on one of our first rounds of golf together. He really is a good sport and he will put together a good, fun, and cost effective golfing package for you. Just 295 day 9 hours 24 minutes 28 seconds then wheels up and off to LOS Pattaya, Thailand. . . but who's counting? Regards, ff29

Hi Everyone, Here's one to consider. . . BEER HAS BEEN HELPING REALLY UGLYPEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 BC! So don't despair. . . SEX help is as near as your favorite local beer bar. Just 344 Days 46 Minutes and 28 Seconds Then Wheel-Up and Off To LOS, Pattaya Thailand. . . But Who's Counting? Regards, ff29

mR hIllY? yoU tnink yi get problnes sneon fukeced u^ Mes k7eyd brodse an its ina Thai*7& Ned hpkep! Regards, ff29

Hi Everyone, The bus ride was a real trip with Hilly trying to get the driver to slow down from lightning speed on the motorway and Ben trying to prevent him from slowing to a snails pace the golf course was a welcome site. Of courese thanks to Ian we overshot the turnoff by only 5 kilometers but considering all it was not so bad. On the golf course the Cash Cow preformed as promised and almost won closest to the pin only missing it by a half a meter. Too bad, better luck next time, and all that sort of rot. The Cash Cow's caddie was telling her, "One putter L to R," and I was telling her, "No, No, it is about 2 putters R to L!" She replied, "But my caddie says L to R?" I told her, "Your caddie doesn't know what the hell she's talking about!" Well, I was right and the Cow missed the hole. . . which I have also done on occasions . . . even on the golf course. Just as a point of information the only reason the tournament was a tie was due to the Cash Cow's sportsman like conduct in telling our opponents, Hans and Stewart, we were playing against that they had a mulligan to use after dunking both of there balls in the pond. Consequently, the sots won the hole and we halfed the match. Thus giving their Team Europe 1/2 point and Team USA winning the back nine for a total of 1 1/2 points overall. Had the Cash Cow buttoned it up we would have won the frigin match. . . but that's how she is honest, honest, honest, but I have always believed in the saying, "Never give a sucker an even break. . . even the Coach!!" So, as you can see Team Europe owes a debt of gradtatude to The Cash Cow for having even just tied and not lost to Team USA. All donations can be forwarded to The Cash Cow care of Team USA - Iron, MN 55751 USA and of course are not necessary but would be deeply apreciated. All revenues received will be used to help try to return Mr ff29 to sanity after tuffing out the match due to her unpresidented "Sportman Like Conduct" on the golf course. Regards, ff29

To Whom It May Concern: The Cash Cow, thumper^, and myself (ff29) are heading for the airport to start our journey to Pattaya, Thailand - LOS. If all goes well we should arrive in Pattaya at around 02:15 hours 04/11/04. . . if anybody really cares. Looking forward to seeing everyone (oldies and newbies) at the RideHer Cup III for the year 2548 and doing a little small ball. Of course Team USA will once again prevail to retain the coveted Little Man and His Bitch for another year. Our big bird will be leaving the good old US of A in. . . Just 10 hours 52 minutes and 43 seconds then wheel-up and off to the LOS, Thailand. . . but who's counting? Regards, ff29 and The Gang aka; Cheryl; Rick; and Glen

Mr SamBinliner, We now have credible inside information from a very FART smeller I mean SMART FELLOW that The Little Man and His Bitch are now safely in custody of friendly hands. They are waiting for Team USA once again this year to win claim to them for another year at the FLB's 2004 (2548) RideHer Cup III. We will call off Genreal Franks-n-Beans, his FART swatters, and the FART sniffing doggies pursuing you if agree to stay out of town. . . for good. Just 1 day 2 hours 33 minutes and 47 seconds then wheels-up and off to LOS, Thailand. . . but who's counting? Regards, ff29 and The Gang

Mr SamBinliner, You make small fun of our worthy team opponent Mr Doghaus who’s haberdasher he adorns that is sot-after by jealous onlookers such as yourself. Do not make further and futile attempts to schmooze our allies like Mr Doghaus into become one of your stinking FART followers. He and his European troups are far to smart for your foolish and translucent attempts at attracting them into your camp with the hollow promise of your 69 1/2 virgins in your hearafter promised land. They have all the first timers they want right at The FLB Bar. Additionally there are many parties at the FLB Bar each week where they can select from many lovely BG’s. . . one, or two, or three, or more! As many as baht can buy. Just turn over The Little Man and His Bitch trophy and get out of town while you still have the opportunity to do so. You will not prevail in your endeavor to upset the RideHer Cup III by your continued antics. You do not have the ability to deceive Mr Doghaus and his cronies for abroad nor to intimidate any of them to join forces with you and your stinking FART’s. General Franks-n-Beans and his well trained FART swatters and FART sniffing dogs. They are aware of your current location, planning pinpoint strategic attack plans, and waiting for the proper opportunity to move in on and clear you and your odiferous FART’s out once and for all. Do it now without delay. . . turn over The Little Man and His Bitch trophy and then get out of town fast. You know your choices of whom and where you can turn over Team USA’s poor little defenseless trophy. Save yourself and your FART’s the humiliation, pain, and suffering that you relentlessly inflected upon The Little Man and His Bitch trophy. Return them now and leave town very, very, fast. General Franks-n-Beans is only awaiting the GO ORDER to tee off on you and your FART’s from our headquarters in the starters shack. The hammer is going to fall any moment so be prepared to be vaporized along with all of your merry band of gaseous FART’s. More recruits are on the way. . . Just 3 days 10 hours 34 minutes and 14 seconds then wheels-up and off to LOS, Thailand. . . but who’s counting? Regards, ff29 and The Gang

Mr SamBenliner, Our competitor in the Rideher Cup III and the grand pupa of this great international golf competition event from across the ocean, doghaus, is pictured below. I’m sure act will act on USA’s behalf as a neutral party and will allow you to return our trophy of The Little Man and His Bitch. This is your absolute (not the vodka) chance to get him back to the competition before the rules committee meeting on 07/11/04 at 20:30 hrs without harm to yourself and your FART’s. 1luv -jump -jump Otherwise, your fate will be sealed forever. Our General Franks-n-Beans and his mighty FART swatters will make your final arrangements for you and your FART’s to be joined with the 70 virgins. . . well let us say 691/2 virgins. . . (one is a Katoy). . . TIT. As the TG’s in LOS, Thailand say when asked, “What do you want to do,†our answer is the same to you as far as sealing your fate is concerned. . . “UP TO YOU.†So in fact, Mr SamBinliner, the decision is “UP TO YOU†or face or General Franks-n-Beans and his mighty FART swatters for your end. Just 4 days 23 hours 42 minutes 24 seconds then wheels-up and off to LOS, Thailand. . . but who’s counting? Regards, ff29 and The Gang

Yes, Mr Glen can get the girls juices flowing. He is told by all of the lovely BG’s at FLB, “You very handsome man papa; We love you too much; We all want to have your baby.†But it would truly unfair for him to perform at the FLB as he is a paid professional performer and the FLB Bar cannot possibly afford his fee even for a brief “5†minute appearance on stage. They would have to layoff the Ugly Brothers for the rest of the high season. Again, just another attempt to impose terror onto the good clientele of the FLB Bar by Mr SamBinliner. Hip gyrating by Mr Glen would possible cause a 7.2–8.1 magnitude on the rectal scale. . . or is that Richter Scale? As far a making the girls scream they will do that as soon as Mr Glen walks though the door. . . and then hide. But he is still considered “Handsome Man†by most TG’s. Now, I cannot speak for other members of Team USA but bar fines could be a possibility if members of both sides (USA Team and European Team Members) agree to those terms. Losing team members pay bar fines for winning team members? This should not to be considered a negotiated settlement for the safe return of The Little Man and His Bitch trophy. We will not negotiate with you Mr SamBenliner. However, you will be brought to justice and soon! Do the honorable thing. Turn over The Little Man and His Bitch trophy as was suggested in earlier posts to this thread and save yourself future pain and suffering that you and your merry band of FART's are certain encounter! Now this could be a site to be seen as a possible “justice served†punishment for Mr SamBinliner’s dastardly deeds perpetrated against Team USA and their honestly won trophy of The Little Man and His Bitch. Win or lose our commando leader General Franks-n-Beans and his relentless FART swatters will bring this under handed thug and mindless torturer of The Little Man and His Bitch, Mr SamBinliner, to justice on or before 24/11/04 at the rules committee meeting at the FLB Bar. Give up the trophy and agree to your suggested punishment. We now have new information indicating Mr Ben’s possible involvement in this staged attack thrust upon The Little Man and His Bitch trophy. General Franks-n-Beans, his FART swatters, and special FART sniffing dogs are hot on the trail of the masked man. I hope it is not true but all of the facts will come to light very soon. Mr Ben just may be on stage with Mr SamBinliner or even worse. . . could it possibly be. . . is he the masked terrorist Mr SamBinliner himself or one of his FART's? I am confident that the stench in the air will be soon cleared of FART's and more will be reveled very soon. . . including you Mr SamBinliner! Just 8 days 13 hours 11 minutes and 46 seconds the wheels-up and off to LOS, Thailand. . . but who’s counting. Regards, ff29

Mr SamBinliner, As of this writing we have not been notified that The Little Man and His Bitch has not been returned to it’s rightful owners, Team USA. Our commander and fearless leader General Franks-n-Beans will be in town very soon to see to your termination along with your FART’s. Please accept our very last offer to turn in trophy and save yourself from a needless demise. The 70 virgins can wait. . . there are many TG’s to accommodate your needs until your time in the hereafter. . . it is for a long time no need to rush. Here is our alternative suggestion to the last offer for turning over The Little Man and His Bitch to a naturel party. Perhaps the first suggestion of The FLB Bar to Pete or Ann may have been to intimidating and confining a locations for you? Therefore, I will suggest a second location where we will make arrangements to acquirer The Little Man and His Bitch trophy to Team USA’s rightful possession once again. Turn the trophy into Da or Ib at the RG's front desk on or before the RideHer Cup III rules meeting on Sunday 07/11/04. I or one of Team USA’s, straight shooters of golf, will retrieve it and present it at that meeting. One of Team USA’s members will make arrangements for the trophy’s safe return to the FLB Bar for the Sunday evening rules committee meeting. Do not attempt to inflect and further mental anguish nor physical torture to The Little Man and His Bitch whist it will be inflected onto you, Mr SamBinliner and your FART’s 100 fold. This is your final amnesty offer from a life of furry and fire that you will cast upon yourself and your merry band of FART’s. Team USA, General Franks-n-Beans, and our Black Ops Strike Force will be relentless in their per suite of you and your FART’s. Be not foolish! Return The Little Man and His Bitch trophy ASAP to save yourself a serious life of pain and discomfort. You and your FART’s have the opportunity to crawl back into your holes in the ground to live out your natural lives in a way you are used to or we will arrange for your meeting with the 70 virgins. . . soon, gloom, and doom. Time is running out fast. . . Just 9 days 21 hours 34 minutes and 8 seconds then wheel-up and off to LOS, Thailand. . . but who’s counting? Regards, ff29 and The Gang

The Blue Cross Test Mr. Smith goes to the doctor's office to get his wife's test results. The lab technician says to him, "I'm very sorry, sir, but we've had a bit of a problem. At the same time we sent your wife's samples to the lab, the lab also received samples from another Mrs. Smith, and now we're not sure which results are your wife's. But, frankly, it's either bad news or terrible news!" "What do you mean?" said Mr. Smith. "Well, one Mrs. Smith tested positive for Alzheimer's, and the other Mrs. Smith has tested positive for AIDS. And we can't tell which is your wife's test." :crying "This is terrible!" cries Mr. Smith. "Can't we do the test over?" "Normally, yes," says the technician, "but you have Blue Cross Health Care, and they won't pay for these expensive tests more than once." "Well, what am I supposed to do now?" said Mr. Smith. "Blue Cross recommends that you drop your wife off in the middle of town. If she finds her way home, don't sleep with her." Just 10 days 16 hours 59 minutes and 35 seconds the wheels-up and off to LOS, Thailand. . . who's counting? Regards, ff29

Where is your underwear? The Englishman's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. "Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any knickers?" her husband demanded. "Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any." The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency, here's £30. Go and buy yourself some underwear." Next, the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she is wearing no undies either. "Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no knickers. Why not?" She replies, "I can't afford any on the money you give me!" He reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency, here's £20. Go and buy yourself some underwear!" Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she too is naked under it. "Sweet mutter of Jesus, Aggie! Where the frig are yer drawers?" She too explains, "You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta affarrd any." The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, "Well, fer the love 'o Jasus, 'n the sake of decency, here's a comb. Tidy yerself up a bit." Just 13 days 20 hours 16 minutes and 4 seconds then wheels-up and off to LOS, Thailand. . . but who's counting? Regards, ff29

doughus, Madame (aka The Cash Cow) wishes for you to be gender correct. In the above quote she noticed that her gender appears not to be addressed nor recognized by reffering to i.e. his ball and he plays and so on. Please in the furture use the gender correctness as not to upset The Cash Cow and spoil her milk for us. She also would like to point this out for the recognition of Hilly's (Madame AM) better half. Additionally, she is wondering if you intend to perform as pictured above and would liked to be grouped in your foursome to be witness to this spectical by not getting passed the front tee's or ladies tee box. I told her you have a very tough time getting passed any ladies box without dropping your trousers. This seemed to get her a tad excited. Please try for thumper^'s and my benefit so we may have a tranquil trip to LOS. As I stated before, "When The Cash Cow is happy the world is happy". . . at least in our world. We thank you in advance. Just 14 day 15 hours 40 minutes and 47 seconds then wheels-up and off to LOS, Thailand. . . but who's counting? Regards, ff29 PS BTW, if you can't tell by my post The Cash Cow wears the balls in our family.

The Old RopeTrick The other day I came home from work and was greeted by my wife dressed in a very sexy nightie, and holding a couple of short velvet ropes. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So, I tied her up, went to Pattaya LOS, GOLFING (ST), and BG LT! Is this how you handle this kind of offer from your wife or significant other?? Just 15 days 20 hours 4 minutes and 5 senconds then wheels-up and off to LOS, Thailand. . . but who's counting? Regards, ff29 Note: Following this example you may only get one offer per wife/significant other and find an empty house when you return.

THE FASTEST THING ON EARTH? Ever wonder what is the fastest thing on earth? An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job. The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?" Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is t! he fastest thing I know of." "That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you sir?" he asked the second man. "Hmm....let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of." "Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye... that's a very popular cliché for speed." He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply. "Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of." The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said. Turning to the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question. The last man replied, "After hearing the three previous answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA." "WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. "Oh I can explain." said the fourth man "You see the other day I wasn't feeling so good and I ran for the bathroom. But, before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already shit in my pants!" HE GOT THE JOB Just 15 days 20 hours 12 minutes and 17 seconds then wheels-up and off to LOS, Thailand. . . but who's counting? Regards, ff29

Mr. SamBinliner, You claim to be watching all of the time. . . I am sure you are looking over your shoulder checking to see who or what is on your tail and your FART's? You should be looking in front of you and to the sides of you as well for we now have you surrounded on all sides and closing in faster than you can think. You are no such a smart fellow but more like a FART smeller. Our secret forces have been in contact with B.O. committee members. Why would you want meet up with Mr Tom Morris Senior or Junior (both only 4 time winners of B.O.)? You could aspire to ascend to a much higher level of greatness with the most winning record holder of the B.O. Mr. Tom Watson (5 time winner in 75', 77', 80', 82', & 83') when he passes on. However, I would prefer the fun loving likes of a Mr. Walter Haugen type golfer or the riches of USA's Mr. Tiger Woods and his Tigris. Mr. SamBinliner please do not confuse the B.O. for Body Oder that surrounds you and your FART’s it stands for the British Open. Not to worry Mr. SamBinliner, our expertly trained black opp’s strike force also very highly trained in FART swatting will have no problem to pick you out in a crowd. . . you will not be mistaken for any Americans nor one of our many allies or blood brothers wearing a hat backwards. . . you and you alone will be the only one with his head up his rectum looking for all of your missing FART’s now in our detainment camp being question (not tortured) as you did to are Small Man and his Bitch. As you may be aware but then again maybe not, do to your head being up your ass so frequently in search of you band of merry FART’s now mostly MIA FART's, in the USA we American’s do not negotiate with terrorist acts (as pictured above). . . however, we do enact revenge. Yours, Mr SamBinliner, will befall you and all of your FART’s when the full weight of Team USA will be expelled (maybe via toxic anal gases) against you and your FART’s if you have any left in you or around you on the golf course 10/08/04. . . if not before. So, celebrate now for yours is merely a temporary and hollow victory. Team USA’s real victory along with our revenge will overwhelm you on the golf course. Be forewarned for the last time Mr. SamBinliner and your very merry FART’s You if you wish, you may surrender The Little Man and His Bitch to a netural party near you like Pete or Ann at the FLB Bar. Save yourself the full force and wrath of Team USA and our strike forces. Do it now! Save yourself now. . . the virgins can wait and so can Mr. Tom Morris. Do not attempt to negoitate any further with the Europen Team good men but now powerless to save you. . . doughas, duce, or hilly. They can no longer save your stenking butt. This is your one and only offer. . . and you and your FART's last chance. Act now. . .your time is very limited. Give him up, save yourself from ultimate demise, and return him immedeatly to the FLB Bar before your time runs out! The GOLF BALL is now on your tee! There are no Do-Overs or Mulligan's attached to this offer. 18 days 11 hours 28 minutes and 27 seconds then wheels-up and off to LOS, Thailand. . . but who’s counting. Regards, ff29 and The Gang

doughaus, It is true the mighty band of USA's FART swaters are right on the butt of Mr. SamBinliner and his FART's. However, NEVER NEVER should you, doughaus, Mr. SamBinliner, and/or the FART's ever underestimate the intelligence of USA's SWAT team. Nor should you underestimate our fearless leader of the pack USA's FART swater's G.W.B. (Great White Beaver) hunter of all shapes, colors, oders, and sizes of FART's attached to the so called god Mr. SamBinliner. Mr. SamBinliner, your location will soon reveal, through our under-the-cover intelligence through our Thai GPS (Girl Positioning Services), we will know, "Where you live and we where you sleep," and we are "Cuming to get you and stick it to you and all your undesierable merry FART men! doughaus, As for the The Ayatollah Montie Sourface, he will have the look of terror in his eyes as we put the fear of God upon his face while he wittnesses the capture and downfall of the so called god Mr. SamBinliner and his FART's. Preparare yourselves to meet your seventy virgins (or a the least gals that have had no babys yet). Team USA's shall not make the same mistakes that the B Team made sent to the Ryder Cup on our home soil. Never forget we have saved the best for the best tournament in the world and are sending the true World Class Players to Pattaya to play in the FLB's RideHer Cup III. We unquestionably will prevail again this year as in 2003. . . keep in mind, Only the really good guys cum last. . . that is why we are sending the A Team and we are guarding our secret weapon The CASH COW! She is both revered and fear by all the world around. . . also, by thumper^ and I. She will be healthy and ready to UNDERSOCRE (by not less than 5 or 6 strokes) the likes of Mr. SamBinliner, Ayatolla Montie Sourface, and their merry FART force. We can assure all of you that thumper^, The CASH COW, ff29, and our strike force will cum prepared to force out all your FART's, their leaders, and accomplis's with a vengeance. We will smoke you out with or without the help of Silk Cut Silver 200's. Mr. Hill is tough and he strong but our intelligence sources reveal to us he is the biggest purchase of golf ball at the wayside golf ball stands in route to area golf courses. He is reveiered as the golf ball god. They all love him. However, they say he must seem to think that golf balls are fish food or something. . . they love him but even with all his mighty balls he will fall and fail to prevail in the RideHer Cup III. The RideHer Cup Trophy is ours "Hail to Team USA and the Red, White, Blue." So, foes and friends alike get used to it. . . that is not to say that Team Europe and their FART's will not put up a valeant and admiable fight but it just will not be enough to overcome Team USA's A Team and their secret weapon The CASH COW! doughaus, Once again, you and your country men are wasting your time and your efforts to decive us. We have you where the hair is short. Our enemies are in the crosshairs in the scopes of our cork guns. We are moving in and taking aim. Soon your god Mr. SamBinliner, your cleric The Ayatollah Montie Sourface, and all the other FART's involved whom we will be pluging up for the good of all remaining. We will soon, very soon, be plugging up all the FART holes and their leaders. We will win and retrive the trophy of the, Little Man and his Bitch. It is ours and ours to keep. Team USA and our expert FART swater Team, under the direction of G.W.B., will retrive the RideHer Cup Trophy and retain it again in victory at FLB's The RideHer Cup III. Will will soon put and end to this stinky, stenchy, and reeking of FART and their leaders and get down to the real business at hand. . . FLB's RideHer Cup III. Just 19 days 18 hours 33 minutes and 49 seconds then wheels-up and off to LOS, Thailnad to kick ass in the the RideHer Cup III. . . but who's counting? Regards, ff29 and The Gang

Latest info tacking down & whereabouts of Mr. SamBinliner. . . Latest deep security report from our snuffer doggies and local operatives under very deep cover in Pattaya, Thailand LOS has reveled to us at our undisclosed location indicate that the so call god SamBinliner's will be hold up near the overpass leading to Jomtiem Beach. At this very moment we have intelligentsia looking at reservations records and at this moment are developing a plan to bring SamBinliner to the justice he so deserves. We will have a full report in our hands forthwith. Our coalition forces after learning, with positive evidence gathered and confirmed, the location SamBinliner will residence at in Pattaya we will make our move. With extensive fore planning our coalition forces will then spring their trap capturing him and along with his merry ban of FART followers. Do not mistake, the sniffer or snuffer out doggies will attack with a vengeance for the steeling of the beloved RideHer Cup trophy. . . which will be back into the hands of it’s rightful winners and under their protection and care. Beware Mr. SamBinliner we are are sniffing up your old address and will be soon making our move on you to recover Team USA's trophy. More will be disclosed later. . . but a word of advice, do not consider when we break your door down to capture you jumping off the balcony into the pool to save yourself and any FART’s that are attached to you. . . the pool will be filled with alagators and sharks as well as guarded by our deep security and coalition forces. Mr. SamBinliner, “You can run but you can’t hide. . . forever!†Just 19 days 23 hours 46 minutes 41 seconds the wheel-up and off to LOS, Thailand. . . but who's counting? Regards, ff29

Update on the tracking down and whereabouts of SamBinliner. . . Mr SamBinliner is close to being captured and identified. Our FART sniffing doggie's have reveled to us at our undisclosed location SamBinliner's suspected true identity. All we can say for now to protect the innocent victims of the crazed leader of FARTs is SamBinliner is reported to be losing his hair at a faster than normal rate for a man his age. This may be due to excess u-turns under the sheets while not wearing the proper type head gear or maybe it is just a trait germane to Englishmen? He was also reportedly seen hanging around Soi 6 frequenting some of the less classer beer bars and looking for something we are not exactly certain. . . possibly looking for more FARTs? More will be revealed as time passes and Mr. SamBinliner is reveled to the world and his FART's silenced forever, or at least until next year, as Team USA prevails again this year in victory over SamBinliner and his FARTs at The RideHer Cup III. Just 20 days 7 hours 18 minutes and 24 seconds then wheels-up and off to LOS, Thailand. . . but who's counting? Regards, ff29 and the gang

Beer vs. Vagina. 1. Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work. One point to BEER. 2. Warm beer tastes awful. One point to VAGINA. 3. A really cold beer is satisfying. One point to BEER. 4. If after taking a swig of your favorite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit. One point to VAGINA. 5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife/girlfriend may get mad, make a scene, kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of vagina your wife/girlfriend may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point to be had here, depending on your point of view and personal circumstances. I'll just call it a DRAW for the time being. 6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten vaginas in one night and you don't want to drive anywhere. One point to VAGINA. 7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may suffer. If you eat any pussy in public, you become a legend. One point to VAGINA. 8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If you smell of vagina he may buy you a beer. One point to VAGINA. 9. You normally don't find old beer. One point to BEER. 10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much vagina and you'll think you've seen god. One point to VAGINA. 11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties is fun. One point to VAGINA. 12. In most countries there's a tax on beer. One point to VAGINA. 13. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off. One point to BEER. 14. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle or a can. One point to BEER. 15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but it eventually it settles down. One point to BEER. 16. With beer you always have choices: clear, dark, pilsner, ale, lager, etc. One point to BEER 17. You always know how much beer is going to cost. One point to BEER. 18. Beer doesn't have a mother. One point to BEER. 19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you've drank it. One point to BEER FINAL SCORE: BEER: 10; VAGINA: 8 That's it! The matter is settled, the clear winner is: BEER. PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or discriminated, just remember that Beer would experience none of those feelings, let alone express them, an extra bonus point for BEER! DISCLAMER: This Beer vs. Vagina test does not apply in Pattaya, Thailand or any other area of LOS. Please note that Item # 5 may still apply depending on your personal circumstances. NOTE: Some may find it nessesary to change Vagina to Pussy, Snatch, Bush, Kerry, Box, Muff, and etc. for clearer understanding for those not familiar with the anatomically correct names for women’s body parts. Just 20 days 10 hours 51 minutes and 2 seconds then wheels-up and off to LOS, Thailand. . . but who's counting? Regards, ff29

Doghaus, You can not fool our super trained intelligent's agents with their super sharp wit and expertise. We are very close to capturing the abductor(s) of the prize trophy for the RideHer Cup III and we admit that Team USA's captain Matt was in fact responsible. However, in his defense he new he would be unavoidably detained by Miami authorities on his return to America and left Big Ben the FLB beer bender as the responsible caretaker of said trophy. In our opinion Big Ben the FLB beer bender is in fact the sole person responsible for the missing trophy allowing it to get into the hands of this unscrupulous terrorist SamBinliner and his masked thugs. We know your ploy is to just throw up a Silk Cut Silver 200 smoke screen to try to throw off our experts but it won't work. As for a responsible action to be taken in regards to involvement in this heinous crime Big Ben the FLB beer bender should be reasonable as part of his punishment for his involvement should have to assume all bar fines for Team USA members on party night. Furthermore, the Europen team members should be required to adorn themselves in the infamous Scottish Kilts and promptly drop the at the first tee for their involvement in the terrible crime perpetrated against the innocent Team USA members. With doghaus’s experience he will have no trouble in assisting those of you whom are unfamiliar with the trouser (Kilt) dropping custom. In the words of Forest Gump. . . And that's all I have to say about that! Just 20 day 22 hours 55 minutes and 45 seconds then wheels-up and off to LOS, Thailand. . . but who's counting? Regards, ff29 and the gang