jballstate

I use to use the jfk to bkk flights back in the day. Thai Airways said they were not cost effective and pulled out of the U.S. . I understand they had a problem with their US security certifícate also. I understand they are now looking at restarting the route as the new aircraft are more fuel efficient and working at getting their security certifícate upgraded. Cathy Pacific has had the US to HKG non-stop flights for years. 16 hours plus and on about another 3 to BKK.

Checked in to the Naris Art Hotel on Thappraya Rd. At soi 5 for a 3 week stay in March. Very clean lobby and helpful staff. Nice large room on the 8th floor with a balcony overlooking soi 5. Room had a king sized bed, flat screen tv, refrigerator, and safe. Air conditioning worked well and daily maid service was excellent. Hotel has a large well maintained swimming pool. Breakfast is available and they have a coffee shop attached to the lobby. There are several restaurants in close vicinity and our favorite was located a short distance down soi 5 at T 5 Suites where they have daily specials with full meals at 99 baht. Very big menu. Walk past the Mexican restaurant on soi 5. Not worth a stop. There is a lady who does laundry right across soi 5 from the hotel. A Family Mart right across from the hotel and a 7-11 just up the street. Hotel is on the baht bus route. Price was $26 (US) a night. Large beach towels furnished for the pool or can be taken to the beach. Room towels are also large. Fast free internet.

http://video.weibo.com/show?fid=1034:4fb153c58d835edacee289ebcecd1230&amp%3btype=m

An 80 year old lady was stopped on Interstate 95 for speeding 80 in a 70 speed zone. When the state trooper called in her drivers license information he was advised that she had a concealed weapon permit. When he returned to the side of her car he asked her if she had any guns with her today. She said "yes, I have a Smith & Wesson 38 in my purse, a 357 magnum in the console, and a 45 under the seat" The trooper said "lady, what are you afraid of ?" Her reply was "Not a damn thing".

On July 8, 1947 some of you will recall that numerous witnesses claim that an unidentified flying object (UFO) with five aliens aboard crashed into a sheep & mule ranch just outside of Roswell, New Mexico. This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered up by the US Air Force and other federal agencies. However, what you may not know is that in the month of April, 1948, nine months after the historic day, the following people were born: Barrack Obama, Sr. Albert A. Gore, Jr. Hillary Rodham William J. Clinton John F. Kerry, Howard Dean Nancy Pelosi, Dianne Feinstein Charles E. Schumer Barbara Boxer, Joe Biden This is the obvious consequence of aliens breeding with sheep and jack-asses. I truly hope this bit of information clears up a lot of things for you. It certainly did for me. And now you can stop wondering why they support the bill to help illegal aliens.

Delta is the Greyhound of the airlines.

http://www.toodamnfunny.com/divorce-horse-race https://youtu.be/iIOOS0fMOLE

A History Lesson For Today Do you know what happened 165 years ago this summer.... September 9, 1850? California became a state! The people had no electricity, the state had no money and almost everyone spoke Spanish. There were gunfights in the streets. So basically NOTHING has changed except back then the women had real boobs and the men didn't hold hands. And that, my friends, is your history lesson for today.

A US Marine enters the Catholic Church confessional booth in Jacksonville, FL. ​ ​ He tells the priest, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Last night, I beat the shit out of a flag burner and an Obama supporter." The priest says, "My son, I am here to forgive your sins, not to discuss your community service

Sunday Morning Sex Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.” Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.. "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!" The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

http://youtu.be/SEbb1tl5Qbk

The Cork Two Arab terrorists are in a locker room taking a shower after their bomb making class, when one notices the other has a huge cork stuck in his behind. "If you do not mind me saying," said the second, "that cork looks very uncomfortable. Why do you not take it out?" "I regret I cannot", lamented the first terrorist. "It is permanently stuck in my rear end." "I do not understand," said the other. The first terrorist says, "I was walking along the beach and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge old man in an American flag attire with a white beard and top hat came boiling out. He said, "I am Uncle Sam, the Genie. I can grant you one wish." I said, "No shit?"

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​Dear Abby, > > > > My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me > from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies > everything. What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats > on me. It is so humiliating. > > > > Also, since he lost his job 14 years ago, he hasn't > even looked for a new one. > > > > All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and > shoot the bull with his buddies, while I have to work to pay > the bills. Since our daughter went away to college he > doesn't even pretend to like me, and even hints that I > may be a lesbian. > > > > What should I do? > > > > Signed: Clueless > > > > > > Dear Clueless: > > > > Grow up and dump him. Good grief woman! You don't > need him anymore! You're running for President of the > United States. > > > > Act like one.

Just got a call from a friend in Baltimore... Went to go help clean up the CVS. The only things left were sun screen and Father’s Day Cards....

THE 5 ANSWERS WE ADULTS HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR! Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS? A: It's the same as a French kiss, but 'downunder'. Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS? A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear. Q: WHY WERE ALL HURRICANES NAMED AFTER WOMEN? A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet, and when they go, they take your house and car with them. Q: WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING? A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch... BONUS QUESTIONS & ANSWERS Q: What is a man's Ultimate embarrassment? A: Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose. Nominated as the world's best short joke A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath. 'Mom', he asked, 'Are these my brains?' 'No, Not yet,' she replied.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/uqlGn-K42U8?rel=0

Subject: THE WAY WOMEN THINK Man’s Message (by mobile phone): Honey, I got hit by a car outside the office. Paula brought me to the Hospital. They have been making tests and taking X-rays. The blow to my head though very strong, will not have any serious or lasting injury. But, I have three broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture in the left leg, and they may have to amputate my right foot. Woman’s Response: Who the fuck is Paula?

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it." The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch." The man perks up. So, the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision. " The man agrees to talk it over with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?" "Yes I have," says the man. "And has she helped you make a decision?" "Yes" says the man. "What is your decision?" asks the doctor. "We're getting granite counter tops." And that’s the name of that tune……….

Subject: Blonde from the city.... A blonde city girl named Amy marries a Colorado rancher. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy, "The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above where the cow's stall is in the barn. Please show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?' The rancher leaves for the fields. After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door. “I came to inseminate the cow,” he said. Amy takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows, and when Amy sees the nail, she tells him, 'This is the one right here.' The man, assuming he is dealing with an airhead blonde, asks, 'Tell me, lady, 'cause I'm dying to know. How would YOU know that this is the right cow to be bred?' 'That's simple." she said. "By the nail that's over its stall,' she explains very confidently. Laughing rudely at her, the man says, 'And what, pray tell, is the nail for?' The blonde turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder, "I guess it’s to hang your pants on,” she replied.

Smile...........Your Biblical Lesson For Today When God Created Virginia (even non-Virginians should love this one.) God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired, "Where have you been?" God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused." God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. "Balance in all things." God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?" "That's Virginia , the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from Virginia are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things." Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance." God smiled, "Right next to Virginia is Washington, D.C. Wait 'till you see the idiots I put there!"

Last night I was driving home from my swimming session at the Y and listening to a sports call-in program, carried by WGN in Chicago on SIRIUS. People were calling in, very upset, about the goat's head that was sent to Cubs owner Tom Ricketts at Wrigley Field. Then some guy called in from Indiana and said, "Why are you people so upset 'cause someone sent a goat's head to Wrigley Field? Aren't you Chicagoans the same guys that sent a horse's a$$ to the White House?" I had to pull over to avoid an accident.

In the USA 30 years ago we had Ronald Regan Johnny Cash & Bob Hope . now we have Obama no cash & no hope