Nightmarch

[PattayaPete 530]

For Your Sins Ye Shall Endure: There’s not much I can add to the millions of words already written in the past weeks about the shocking tragedy that has destroyed countless lives across south Asia and eastern Africa apart from offering my own pathetically wan condolences to all those who have lost loved ones. One thought that did traverse my mind was how disappointing it must have been for the high-minded moralists and born-again God-botherers that the earthquake hadn’t emanated in the Gulf of Thailand and the subsequent tsunami didn’t roar through Pattaya in a modern day Apocalypse, ala Sodom and Gomorrah. Guess they’ll just have to pray a little bit harder.

 

Hats on for Christmas: While the quality of damsel in The Sea has waned slightly, the ogling den rightly associated with the renaissance of Walking Street, namely, The Dollhouse, has had a clear-cut improvement in the eye candy value of its chrome pole molesters. Wandering in on Christmas Eve, the dancers were decked out in red tops and skimpy skirts and all sporting those ridiculous Santa Claus hats. Again, there was no hassle from the assembled elves and what was on view would have given good King Wenceslas a Christmas boner. Draught amber runs to 45 baht in a good-sized glass while during happy hour house liver wasters run to just 40 baht.

 

Not Another One! Walking Street and its environs now boast a whopping 33 ogling and show dens open for business. In the two months prior to the end of 2004 no less than five places featuring ladies who like to dance and cavort about in skimpy attire opening for business. I’ve mentioned Beach Club, Fantasia Showcase, Highway Star, and Las Vegas in past columns; the newest kid on the block is the somewhat brazenly-named MGR Strip Club.

 

The joint is located upstairs in Soi Diamond on the same landing as the Shark ogling den (formerly Big Willies) and is owned by the same people who have the open-air Roof bar. The MGR Strip Club is on the site of the long-defunct Moonshine enclosed beer boozer and the new owners have spent a good deal of the folding stuff in remodelling and upgrading the furnishings. The layout is a little unusual but well done. The walls are padded (think: lunatic asylum) in a cream colour, there are lounge chairs against the walls, and, apart from a small main stage shaped like the horns of a Zulu impi, has another five dancing areas accommodating one or two chrome pole huggers. Opening night was 29 December and the ladies employed to gyrate in as fetching a manner as possible were not in the traditional g-string garb, which is a good sign. The music was a little different and suited the style of the place, but libations are not cheap with liver wasters at 110 baht a pop. Definitely worth a look.

 

Oh I Do Like to be Beside the Seaside: Regular readers of this missive cannot have failed to notice the number of times I make mention of Walking Street ogling dens, as opposed to those away from what is, after all, the main centre of Fun Town. Part of the reason is simply that I enjoy these places far more than most of the others away from the street while the other factor is these dens are constantly in a state of flux, with something new or different happening on a regular basis.

 

Take The Sea chrome pole palace (Soi Diamond) as an example. Some months ago I thought the den had some good quality chrome pole molesters, certainly in comparison to many other places. On my last visit- on Christmas Eve no less- I would suggest the quality has dropped, although not enough to make it a no-go area. The music, which has always been standard car alarm noise, remains the same. The place is always busy, and looking around the room I would venture to say well over half the patrons were sipping away on the 55 baht amber draught rather than indulging in the over-priced liver wasters. The place is still worth a look and, for better or worse, you don’t get hassled by the dancing damsels.

 

Two Bites for One: The shufflers may not be from the top shelf but the Shark ogling den (upstairs Soi Diamond) is at least worth a look as they are quite a friendly bunch, obviously taking the name of the joint to heart as they circle in hopes of taking a bite out of your wallet.

 

Management have instituted a two-for-one policy on house libations so a standard liver waster at 95 baht becomes good value. The policy extends to Thai rotgut and lolly water (75 baht) as well. Heineken draught is at 45 baht all night, and, obviously is not included in the 2-for-1 package. Lady drinks are 100 baht for the standard ‘cola’.

 

Better Than Some: Just to prove that I do occasionally manage to escape the all-embracing clutches of Walking Street, I wandered into the Misty’s chrome pole palace (Pattayaland Soi 2) late one evening and came away thinking it probably ranks as about the best on that particular soi. The music is good and there are plenty of dancing maidens; the worst that can be said is the prices of thirst-quenchers are over the top: 120 baht for liver wasters in a non-show boozer is ridiculous.

 

Around the corner in gender-confused Pattayaland Soi 1, the Spicy Girls management have jacked up their libations to 100 baht for liver destroyers, although lady drinks are still cheap at 80 baht. The music, as it always has been, is good; the damsels average but friendly and happy hour runs from 6:30-8:00PM with bottled amber liquid at 70 baht and liver crunchers 80 baht.

 

Waste of Space: The little clutch of beer boozers at the corner of Soi 1 and Second Road in north Pattaya offers up the usual cacophony of noise with some form of techno babble emanating from one establishment countered by the live band in the Eye beer boozer who, to be fair, were doing a reasonable series of Beatle’s covers. And not once did they play ‘Hotel California’. There seemed to be a lot of persons working in this bar, and others nearby, who came out of the womb as males and were now parading about in women’s clothing. This is also the place where the Tokyo ogling den opened and closed faster than revolving door on speed.

 

Give Yourself a Black Star: A local ex-pat resident wrote to me recently asking punters to be wary when having an out-of-happy-hours libation in the New Star ogling den (Soi Diamond). He claims to have wandered in and ordered a vodka-lipo (yep, an interesting combo) for which he was billed 150 baht. If this is true, and I have no reason to believe it isn’t, then the management in New Star need their collective head’s read. They’ve managed to prise 150 baht from one customer who, thoroughly disgusted, will never cross the threshold to their establishment again and will no doubt make his dissatisfaction known to all his friends and acquaintances. The knock-on effect may well do great damage to business in New Star. Then again, they might not care about attracting repeat business.

 

Out of the Rumour Mill: It is suggested by someone who should know that the working wenches in the very popular Buffalo dine and dash establishment (Third Road) are required to pick up 100 lady drinks per month in order to earn their salary. I know it’s only a tad more than three drinks per lady per shift (and at 70 baht the lady drinks are not expensive), but when there are more than 40 damsels competing for a customer’s attention the task is not as easy as it looks.

 

Around the Traps: On 29 December 2004 a farewell party was held in the Shenanigans lounge lizard libation room and noshery for departing landlord Kim Fletcher. He is now preparing to take up the meeting and greeting duties at the Jameson’s pseudo Irish noshery and boozatorium currently in the stages of completion in North Pattaya, behind the Big C complex.

 

Update on the Champion ogling den booze prices: while happy hour remains cheap with draught amber at 35 baht, regular prices are now hovering around the standard of 95 baht.

 

The Hot Girls ogling den (Walking Street) has expanded its waistline, taking over the massage parlour that used to abut the rear of the den.

 

Another addition to the longest-running boozers in Fun Town. The Susi beer boozer and occasional lying-in facility (Naklua Road) has been operational in the same location for 12 years. For the past nine years it has been under the same ownership, which must make it close to being the longest-running joint in Germantown.

 

Piece of Pith: Sex is like air. It’s not important unless you aren’t getting any.

 

 

My e-mail address is: nightmarch@hotmail.com

Author of Pattaya "Patpong on steroids"

No reproduction without specific reference to: nightmarch@hotmail.com

[HILLY 9]

The new Roof Bar that you refer to Pete in the upstairs Diamond area opposite Shark has now been going for a couple of weeks and the owner who does not like to think of herself as a mamasan is called Goy. She is a very personable lady and seems to have a passion for her new venture.

 

However she soon found out that striptease was not as easy to train the girls in as she thought and has seemed to have dropped the idea. Likewise lap dancing also has gone by the board so this is now just a regular gogo.

 

The place has been well spruced up but done on the cheap with lots of padded vinyl and the most silly idea of a carpeted floor that in two weeks looks dreadfull. However she is starting to pick up some good girls and I reckon it will improve even more over the coming weeks.

 

The marines from U-Tapou have found the joint and are there in large numbers as a very well behaved bunch. I like the place.

[jambo 0]

Only 2 weeks to go and I am back in Fun Town!

 

Yet again, Pete & Hilly hit me with even more establishments to add to my ever growing list of places to visit for the first time.

 

Its a bastard, but I suppose someones got to do it!

 

Cheers

 

Danny