OF ENGLISH ENGLISH & AMERICAN ENGLISH

[adil799 0]

BREAKING DOWN THE LANGUAGE BARRIER

 

Speaking at a press briefing, Defense Secretary Donald

Rumsfeld tried to clarify the situation in Iraq. "Reports

that say something hasn't happened are interesting to me,

because as we know, there are known unknowns; there're

things we know we know," Rumsfeld said. "We also know there

are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some

things we do not know. But there are also unknown

unknowns -- the ones we don't know we don't know."

 

If you have no clue what he's saying, don't worry. It's not

always easy to understand American English -- even if you

live in America. I have a master's in English from an

American university and I'm still baffled by Rumsfeld's

statement. Perhaps I need a Ph.D.

 

No wonder people in other countries are constantly

scratching their heads, wondering what Americans mean. Many

of these foreigners are fluent in British English, but that

doesn't help them figure out simple things, such as how to

get an egg from an eggplant. Or how to get some rest in a

restroom.

 

In my ongoing effort to promote world understanding, I tried

to explain the language differences to an American college

student.

 

Me: "While a Briton, searching for an object, would ask,

'Where is it?' an American would ask, 'Where's it at?'"

 

Student: "Wow, that's quite a difference. No wonder they

can't find those weapons of mass destruction!"

 

Me: "Here's something else you'll find interesting: While

Americans study math, the British tend to study maths."

 

Student: "I prefer math myself. I'd rather not study more

than one of them."

 

Me: "That's understandable. Here's another difference: While

Americans use the word 'butt,' the British use 'bum.'"

 

Student: "Really? And what do they do with their cigarette

bums? I toss mine in a trash can."

 

Me: "I think they throw theirs in a dustbin -- along with

all their dust. Here's another: While Americans use the

word 'period,' the British use 'full stop.'"

 

Student: "That doesn't make sense. How can it be a 'full

stop' when she's going to have another next month?"

 

Me: "Good question. Speaking of women, American men might

refer to them as 'chicks,' but British men call them

'birds.'"

 

Student: "Chicks are cuter than birds. I don't think we'd go

nuts over the Dixie Birds."

 

Me: "Probably not. Here's another difference: In America,

people get engaged; in Britain, phones do, too."

 

Student: "That makes sense. One phone gives the other a

ring."

 

Me: "Yes, of course. But in America, phones get busy."

 

Student: "Yes, and people do too. Especially on their

wedding night."

 

Me: "I wouldn't know about that. Here's another: In America,

students use erasers; in Britain, students use rubbers."

 

Student: "Really? No wonder they have fewer teen

pregnancies. You can't erase everything, you know."

 

Me: "Well, of course not. Here's another: While an American

might live in an apartment, a Brit would live in a 'flat.'"

 

Student: "Flat? That's interesting. I've heard people in

California use the word 'flat' for 'apartment,' but only

after an earthquake."

 

Me: "Ah, yes. In Britain, they'd call that a double flat.

Here's one you'll really like: While American kids enjoy

cotton candy, British kids enjoy candy floss."

 

Student: "Candy floss? You're kidding. Don't tell me they

also enjoy candy toothbrushes! Their dentists must be

loaded!"

 

Me: "I'm not sure about that. As Donald Rumsfeld might say,

that's a known unknown."

 

[whilliam_mancon 2]

Boring!