Making the move to Dubai

[joekicker 53]

Found this on PPrune, a pilots' forum:

 

This following extract is taken from the blog of an American who moved to Dubai

earlier this year….

 

 

April 30th:

Just got transferred to work and live in beautiful Dubai, UAE! WOW!!!

Now this is a city that knows how to live!!! Beautiful sunny days and

warm balmy evenings. It's like New York City minus all the crooks,

murderers and drunks. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck

chair on my beautiful bedroom veranda. It was so beautiful. I've finally

found my home. I love it here.

 

 

May 13th:

Really heating up. Got to 95 degrees today. Not a problem. Live in an

air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car, and everything is

fully air-conditioned. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like

this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.

 

 

May 30th:

Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today around our

lovely pool. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No

more mowing the lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it

here. Heat is no problem at all.

 

 

June 10th:

The temperature hasn't been below 95 all week, even during the night.

How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's kind

of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I

expected.

 

 

July 15th:

Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 90% of my body.

Missed 5 days of work. What a dumb thing to do in this lovely city. I

learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like

this.

 

 

July 20th:

Kitty (our cat) sneaked into the car when I left for the office. By

the time I got to the hot car for my lunch break, Kitty had died and

swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $60,000

Audi. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like

Wiskettes and cat shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in

this heat.

 

 

July 25th:

The wind sucks. It feels like a giant fucking hair dryer in here!! And

it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner died. The fucking AC

repairman charged 500 Dirhams just to drive over and tell me it was

broken in fucking Hindu/English or some language that I couldn't

understand.

 

 

July 30th:

Air conditioner still broken. Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3

nights now because it is 7000 fucking degrees inside. Bloody 2,000,000

Dirhams house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

Fuck the sun. Fuck the wind. Fuck the freakin' ocean. And fucking

locals walk around dressed in white tablecloths followed by little

black female ninjas. Fucking crazy town.

 

 

August 4th:

It's 114 fucking degrees today. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner

fixed. It cost 2,000 fucking Dirhams and got the temperature down to

25, but the fucking humidity makes the house feel 30 fucking Dubai

degrees. Stupid terrorist repairman. I hate this stupid fucking place.

 

 

August 8th:

If another local wiseass cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going

to fucking whack him all the way back to his goddamn desert. Fucking

Dubai; by the time I get to work with all that fucking traffic and

heat, the car's radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet,

and I smell like a baked cat!!!

 

 

August 9th:

Tried to run some errands today because it is fucking Friday. Wore

shorts and sat on the black leather seats in my Audi. The seat was so

fucking hot I thought my ass was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and

all the hair on the back of my legs and my fucking ass. Now my car

smells like burnt hair, fried ass and baked cat.

 

 

August 10th:

The weather report might as well be a fucking recording. Hot, humid

and fucking sunny. Hot, humid and fucking sunny. Hot, humid and

fucking sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and

the weatherman dude wearing the fucking white tablecloth on TV says it

might really warm up next week. Does it ever rain in this damn fucking

place? What is next, a fucking hell freezing over wave?

 

 

August 14th:

WELCOME TO HELL!!! Temperature got to 120 today. Now the

air-conditioner's gone in my fucking Audi. The fucking Audi serviceman

said, "Hot enough for you today?" Fuck him and fuck Audi. My wife had

to spend the 7,000 Dirham to bail my ass out of jail for assaulting

that stupid fucking Paki bastard wiseass. Fuck Dubai! What kind of a

sick demented fucking idiot would want to live in this shit hole?

 

 

August 15th:

Fuck this place. I'm off back to New York.

[capdagde 1,954]

"Oops" on the cat!!!!

 

And he never found Cyclone - the only night club I ever went to where the guys get in free and the girls have to pay......

 

Scored a tasty Ethiopian lady there on break from Saudi - she grabbed me two times running (three month gap and remembered my name!!). Third time called her mobile and she made a housecall to hotel - nice 3some with Mrs.

 

Andy

Edited December 4, 2007 by capdagde

[nohlsson1 19]

It is a shame that he never made it to Cyclone. I love the VIP treatment I get when I show up.

I have to admit that is the funniest things I have read about UAE. I was stationed there for 2 weeks last July.

I just read it to 2 of my co workers and they can not stop laughing.

Great stuff.