The best blond jokes for 2007

[nohlsson1 19]

Blonde's Year in Review

 

 

January

 

Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

 

 

February

 

Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels. Helllloooo! Bottles won't fit in the printer!

 

 

March

 

Got really excited, finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months. Box said '2-4 years!'

 

 

April

 

Trapped on escalator for hours, the power went out!

 

 

May

 

Tried to make Kool-Aid. Wrong instructions! 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets.

 

 

June

 

Tried to go water skiing, couldn't find a lake with a slope.

 

 

July

 

Lost breast stroke swimming competition, learned later the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms and hands!

 

 

August

 

Got locked out of my car in rain storm, car swamped because soft-top was open.

 

 

September

 

Capital of California is 'C!' Isn't it?

 

 

October

 

Hate M & M's! They are so hard to peel.

 

 

November

 

Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days; Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108 pounds!

 

 

December

 

Picked up the phone to dial 911, no such luck?

 

'Duh,' there's no 'eleven' button on the stupid phone!

 

 

 

THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR:

 

 

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.

 

She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.

 

A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

 

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

 

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, 'Is something wrong?'

 

To which she replied, 'There certainly is!'

 

Are you ready for this? This is a beauty!

 

 

My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL!'

[BigusDicus 9,878]

Blonde's Year in Review

January

 

 

My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL!'

 

 

 

I know her.

[suitcase 0]

A blonde female cop pulls a car over for speeding. The driver is also a blonde woman.

 

Driver: "What's the problem?"

Cop: "Let me see your drivers licence."

Driver: "What does it look like?"

Cop: "It's got your picture on it."

The driver goes through her purse looking for it finally finding a small compact mirror. She hands the mirror to the cop. The cop looks at the mirror and says:

"Why didn't you tell me that you were a police officer. Go ahead get outta here and slow down."

[chuckrivera 1]

Q: What do you call 100 blondes with machine guns?

 

A: Militia Ethridge