Are you a real man?

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The MAN test

 

1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:

 

a) lovemaking

screwing

c) the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town

 

 

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after

you've both shared:

 

a) your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship

your blood-test results

c) five tequila slammers

 

 

3. You time your orgasm so that:

 

a) your partner climaxes first

you both climax simultaneously

c) you don't miss SportsCenter (SciFi for some)

 

 

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:

 

a) healthy, creative love-play

not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to

c) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find

out about

 

 

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex

with is:

 

a) the best part of the experience

the second best part of the experience

c) $100.00 extra

 

 

6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the

last month. You tell her that it is:

 

a) no concern of yours

not a problem

c) a conservative estimate

 

 

7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:

 

a) a myth

a oxymoron

c) gay

 

 

8. Foreplay is to sex as:

 

a) appetizer is to entree

primer is to paint

c) a line is to an amusement park ride

 

 

9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself

saying at the end of a relationship?

 

a) "I hope we can still be friends."

"I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."

c) "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, YOU"

 

 

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:

 

a) probably needs a little more time before she can cope with

that sort of intimacy

is uptight and a waste of time

c) shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place

 

 

If you answered "A" more than 7 times,

check your pants to make sure you really are a man.

 

If you answered "B" more than 7 times,

check into therapy, you're still a little confused.

 

If you answered "C" more than 7 times... YOU DA