Little Johnnie

[N3RGT 118]

The best Little Johnnie joke

 

 

 

Little Johnnie's neighbour had a baby.

Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.

 

 

When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby.

Before they left their house, Little Johnnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.

 

His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.

Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely.

When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, 'What a beautiful baby.'

The mother said, 'Why, thank you, Little Johnnie.'

Johnnie said, 'He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?'

 

'Yes', the mother replied, 'we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision.'

 

'That's great', said Little Johnnie,'cuz he'd be fucked if he needed glasses'.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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[pattaya_mad 208]

Little Johny and little Billy come down for breakfast one morning, they sit at the table and the father say "so Billy, what would you like for breakfast today?" "fuckin cornflakes" replies Billy, "WHAT???" shoults his father

"fuckin cornflakes" say Billy again, with this is father picks him up slaps his arse hard and tells him to go to his room and only return when he learns respect.

after he cools down he turns to little Johny and says "so Johny, what would you like for breakfast today?" "well I`d be a cunt to ask for cornflakes wouldn`t I?" says Johny

[pcdodger 2]

You are a bad man

But I love it

[frostfire 1,279]

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

 

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Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'

 

Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!'

 

Miss Rogers:'All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?'

 

Little Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.'

 

Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful.'

 

Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob".

 

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Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out,"Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!"

 

The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'

 

Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go."

 

Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a ten!!!"

 

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Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.

Usually she slept through the class.

 

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"

 

When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.

 

A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.

 

Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"

 

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A boy sitting on Santas lap and Santa puts his finger on the boys nose and says "I bet your name is (spells out ) J i m m y ?"

 

The little boys eyes light up and Santa puts his finger on the boys nose again and says " I bet you want a (spelled out ) b i k e ?"

 

Little Jimmys eyes light up and he asks "How'd you know that ?"

 

Santa replied "Because I'm Santa I know everything".

 

Little Jimmy gets a funny look in his eye and says "I bet you like (spells out ) g i r l s ?"

 

Santa says "Yes, how'd you know that ?" The boy says " Beacause your finger smells like P U S S Y !"

 

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:)

 

Frosty