Now that I've learned a new word

[MM 6,562]

Davo was bragging to Bazza one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, Bazza called his bluff "OK, Davo, how about Tom Cruise?"

 

"No drama's mate, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."

 

So Davo and Bazza fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and Tom Cruise shouts, "Davo! What's happenin?!? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!"

 

Although impressed, Bazza is still sceptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells him that he thinks Davo's knowing Cruise was just lucky.

 

"No, no, just name anyone else," Davo says.

 

"President Bush," his Bazza quickly retorts.

 

"Yup," Davo says, "Old buddies, let's fly out to Washington."

 

And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Davo on the tour and motions him and Bazza over, saying, "Davo, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."

 

Well, Bazza is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Davo, who again implores him to name anyone else.

 

"The Pope," Bazza replies.

 

"Sure!" says Davo. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time."

 

So off they fly to Rome. Davo and Bazza are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Davo says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."

 

Davo disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Davo emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Davo returns, he finds that Bazza is in shock, surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to Bazzas' side, Davo asks him, "What happened?"

 

 

Bazza looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said... "Who the *****'s that on the balcony with Davo?”

[MM 6,562]

A bogan walked into the centerlink office, marched straight up to the counter and said, 'Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job.'

 

The worker behind the counter said, 'Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful 30 year old daughter.

 

You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, and he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips and you will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The salary is $200,000 a year.'

 

The guy, wide-eyed, said, 'You're bullsh!ttin' me!'

 

The Centerlink worker said, 'Yeah, well . . . you started it.'

[MM 6,562]

Q. What do you call a 30 year old bogan girl?

A. Grandma.

 

Q. Why did the bogan girl cross the road?

A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason whatsoever.

 

Q. What do you call a bogan girl in a white tracksuit?

A. The bride.

 

Q. What's the first question during a bogan quiz night?

A. What you looking at?

 

Q. Two bogan kids in a car without any music - who is driving?

A. The policeman.

 

Q. What's the difference between a bogan boy and a bogan girl?

A. A bogan girl has a higher sperm count.

 

Q. What does a bogan girl use as protection during sex?

A. A bus shelter.

 

Q. How do you know if you're a bogan?

A. You let your 15 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table... in front of her kids.

 

Q. If you are driving and you see a bogan on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?

A. It might be your bike.

 

Q. How do you know when a bogan girl is having her period…….

A. She's only wearing one sock!!!

[MM 6,562]

Sorry, but some of these are seriously funny.

 

No offense meant to any self-described bogans.

[aussiechic 209]

Some are but Bogans are not trailer trash.

[MM 6,562]

Some are but Bogans are not trailer trash.

 

I'm just trying to understand boganness.

[Obsession 571]

Q. What do you call a 30 year old bogan girl?

A. Grandma.

 

Q. Why did the bogan girl cross the road?

A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason whatsoever.

 

Q. What do you call a bogan girl in a white tracksuit?

A. The bride.

 

Q. What's the first question during a bogan quiz night?

A. What you looking at?

 

Q. Two bogan kids in a car without any music - who is driving?

A. The policeman.

 

Q. What's the difference between a bogan boy and a bogan girl?

A. A bogan girl has a higher sperm count.

 

Q. What does a bogan girl use as protection during sex?

A. A bus shelter.

 

Q. How do you know if you're a bogan?

A. You let your 15 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table... in front of her kids.

 

Q. If you are driving and you see a bogan on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?

A. It might be your bike.

 

Q. How do you know when a bogan girl is having her period…….

A. She's only wearing one sock!!!

 

Some good uns there.

 

If in the UK, change bogan to "chav"

[MM 6,562]

Some good uns there.

 

If in the UK, change bogan to "chav"

 

 

In the USA, it would be redneck as everyone knows.

 

Thailand has their own special name for the bogan type, "baan nawk".

[Fondles 94]

I'm just trying to understand boganness.

 

Have a look round www.bogan.com.au, check the Forum as well !!!!

 

Bogan.com.au Jan 2010 Update

 

Bloody hell! As all of our loyal followers we are a bunch of lazy c*nts and haven't updated this website in about 3 bloody years.

 

We have a bunch of beaut shit happenning this year that we want to announce to everyone. This place will be going off like a bludger on dole-cheque day!

 

Some of the new shit includes:

 

- New photo gallery with forum integration. Anyone who is part of the forum will be able to upload all of their latest images of BBQ's, burnouts, piss-ups and pictures their missus took when you passed out doing a grog-bog.

 

- Bogan.com.au Merchandise. Yeah we know we have been talking out this shit for yonks, but we are really going to get our fingers out and organise it.

 

- Upgrades to the forum. We have upgraded a few things so far this year, but we really want to take things further. Going to start a petition to bring back Wayne Dodson and all the old fuckers.

 

- A petition register. So all of you bogans can put forward ideas to Ruddy and the other dickhead pollies. Things like free beer on Australia Day, increase to the dole and the removal of speed limits for people who drive Australian made cars!

 

Any-bloody-way, stay tuned as things around here will start to get interesting like ACA on a Tuesday night.

 

admin

Edited February 3, 2010 by Fondles

[Montydog 135]

For all UK viewers just insert the word “scouser” for “bogan”

[bruiser 0]

Sorry, but some of these are seriously funny.

 

No offense meant to any self-described bogans.

 

None taken mate, some funny Buggers there !!

We all enjoy a good laugh ,should be more of It

As someone else intermated ,you showing any sense of Humour is a Great Bonus for us all

Keep the funnies coming

See you in fun town soon

[Obsession 571]

In the USA, it would be redneck as everyone knows.

 

Thailand has their own special name for the bogan type, "baan nawk".

 

Didnt know redneck was a chav/ bogan / ned ( Scottish chav). I thought it was the same as hillbilly

 

So its, " Pastry baan nawk" ......Pair of schitzos I get on well with Pastry in PMs and look forward to meeting the baan nawk

[MM 6,562]

Didnt know redneck was a chav/ bogan / ned ( Scottish chav). I thought it was the same as hillbilly

 

Hillbilly and redneck are quite different in my understanding of the usage.

 

You could google it and get back to us.

[pat6911 0]

I think I read somewhere that the global term is Udesirables