Banned from Sainsbury's, didn't like shopping there anyway

[pcdodger 2]

Yesterday I was at my local Sainsbury's buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

 

What did she think I had - an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.

 

I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2 stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms

 

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

 

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was now enthralled with my story.)

 

 

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an

Irish Setter's backside and a car hit us both.

 

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

 

I'm now banned from Sainsbury's.

 

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.

[villayouth 37]

Yesterday I was at my local Sainsbury's buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

 

What did she think I had - an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.

 

I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2 stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms

 

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

 

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was now enthralled with my story.)

 

 

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an

Irish Setter's backside and a car hit us both.

 

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

 

I'm now banned from Sainsbury's.

 

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.

:D :bigsmile:

[pinoydave 210]

fuckin brilliant

[InSpaceNoOneCanHearYouFart 0]

Oh now that was GOOD!

[roorsoldja 325]

lol , it seems every-time i walk out of a store carrying something heavy with both hands some old fucker always asks what time is it ! expecting me to try and look at my watch , they laugh every-time and i can't wait till i'm old so i can fuck with people with no consequence.

[drdod 0]

Yesterday I was at my local Sainsbury's buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

 

What did she think I had - an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.

 

I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2 stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms

 

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

 

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was now enthralled with my story.)

 

 

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an

Irish Setter's backside and a car hit us both.

 

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

 

I'm now banned from Sainsbury's.

 

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say

 

 

 

 

that has made my day ...fooooooooooooooking brilliant

 

drdod

[midlifecrisis 4,048]

Just one question, how did the Irish Setter smell?

 

I am pushing 60 and just practicing for being retired.

 

Great story btw!