Imminent changes in Liverpool

[bigdelta 46]

I have been tasked by NESV to make changes to bring the "team" in line with the remainder of USA sports:

It's a team,not a club.A club is where I go with a date or where to find one.

Since the NESV is paying all the debt,the have decided to change several things.

The name will be changed to Liverpool Soccer Team (LST) from Liverpool Football Club (LFC)

The team name will be the Liverpool Red Sox,or possibly Red Stockings in deference to their British heritage

They will play on a field,not a pitch.A pitch is something a pitcher does-they will learn.

They will be wearing uniforms,not kit.

They will be wearing spikes or cleats,not boots (when did they wear boots anyway)

The Kop end of the stands will be repainted green and renamed the Green Monster

Baked beans will not be served as a breakfast item,only after noon

Beer will be cold and they will sell iced tea.

They will play in cold weather,including a frozen field

They will play 9 innings,not 2 45 minute halves

This is a rough draft but there will be other changes.Feel free to offer any suggestions.

Edited October 17, 2010 by LTGTR

[grimsbyuk 13]

i have been told that to fit in more with their American brothers The Red Sox, Liverpool FC is changing its name to something more descriptive of its fans and now will be called The Hub Cap Steelers, the ground will in future be called the San Giro whilst the team will play in shell track suits Edited October 16, 2010 by grimsbyuk

[JohnnyK 28]

Hot dogs and cokes only.

[jacko 8,822]

I have been tasked by NESV to make changes to bring the "team" in line with the remainder of USA sports:

It's a team,not a club.A club is where I go with a date or where to find one.

Since the NESV is paying all the debt,the have decided to change several things.

The name will be changed to Liverpool Soccer Team (LST) from Liverpool Football Club (LFC)

The team name will be the Liverpool Red Sox,or possibly Red Stockings in deference to their British heritage

They will play on a field,not a pitch.A pitch is something a pitcher does-they will learn.

They will be wearing uniforms,not kit.

They will be wearing spikes or cleats,not boots (when did they wear boots anyway)

The Kop end of the stands will be repainted green and renamed the Green Monster

Baked beans will not be served as a breakfast item,only after noon

Beer will be cold and they will sell iced tea.

They will play in cold weather,including a frozen field

They will play 9 innings,not 2 45 minute halves

This is a rough draft but there will be other changes.Feel free to offer any suggestions.

All the supporters are required to put on 100lbs.

There will be 20 minute advertising stoppages every 10 minutes.

Sides will be allowed to call time-out just before Rooney put's it in the net.

Take me home to the ball park, will replace You'll never walk alone.

To get their weight up, supporters are required to carry buckets of fried chicken and very large 'Coke' cups with adverts on them, especially on-camera.

The ball will be elliptical.

The centre and penalty spots will be raised up by several inches.

No more emotional hugging and kissing after scoring. Players will conform to 'Don't Ask, don't tell' doctrine.

If a game ends drawn at full time, extra innings will be played until whatever insane hour, until a result is acheived.

Stupid infantile mascots will run around the 'pitch' oops 'field' during the game annoying the spectators.

Cheer leaders will be introduced, girls in short skirts jumping around showing glimpses of gray panties..... (mmm....fair idea).

Referees ooops umpires will be required to wear stripey shirts and baseball caps.

Football boots' will be referred to as Soccer trunks.......

To improve entertainment for the short attention spanned owners there will be extra points for goals scored in a dramatic way, and a completely confusing scoring system will be introduced along with meaningless statistics.

The FA cup will now be called the World Soccer Series

Edited October 16, 2010 by jacko

[bigdelta 46]

Correct except for fried chicken reference-it just isn't sold in stadia in US.

Rooney doesn't put it in the net unless their's a reference to his current/past BGF.

Cheer leaders is one word in US

jacko,you seem to be one the right track though.

And let's not forget popcorn.

 

What an awful feeling,for a moment I felt like Google Tom while correcting someone else's post

 

Hot dogs and cokes only.

and COLD beer and nachos and cotton candy for the kids

[brotherbuzz 3,206]

and COLD beer and nachos and cotton candy for the kids

Cool, what every sporting event needs..... Drunk hyper kids with diarrhea.

[JohnnyK 28]

Correct except for fried chicken reference-it just isn't sold in stadia in US.

Rooney doesn't put it in the net unless their's a reference to his current/past BGF.

Cheer leaders is one word in US

jacko,you seem to be one the right track though.

And let's not forget popcorn.

 

What an awful feeling,for a moment I felt like Google Tom while correcting someone else's post

 

 

and COLD beer and nachos and cotton candy for the kids

But it won't be real beer, it will be Bud or Coors or some other kiddle drink.

[bigdelta 46]

Hopefully it will be those two.